Why do people give up so easily?

Question

The reason that I ask this is because it is becoming a major problem in our society. Why is it that as soon as a relationship hits a snag or seems like it is in danger, the first reaction is "forget him/her and move on." Shouldn't people be encouraging them to try and fix their relationships rather than just running from their problems? Recently my girlfriend broke up with me. We have been together for 4 years and are now trying to work things out. When she broke up with me two months ago almost everyone I turned to said that it was over and I should give up. They said, "she is being an idiot and you should just forget about her." I did not listen and if I had, we wouldn't be where we are today, working things out and growing together.

Could you answer this question assuming:
A. I'm not talking about relationships where someone was unfaithful
B. I'm not just talking about marriage, but divorce can be discussed as well
C. I am not asking for advice on my current relationship issue

Answer 1

I am sorry about that, I wanted to answer your question and have enough time to do so. I agree completely that people give up way too easy. If I love someone, I cannot think of a good enough reason to give up on them. In fact I am still proving that as we speak, she has done me wrong a couple of times, but not like cheating on me or anything and I am still here, I love her, I won't give up for something small and stupid. Too many people are willing to give up all they have worked for, for something minute, some stupid fight, some stupid little detail that they cannot just get over. I think the real problem isn't people giving in to eaasily, it is more that people are in willing to compromise, unwilling to make sacrafices to make things work in the tough times. Not many people seem to get the point of a long term relationship any more.
It is not all a sunny walk on the beach, there will be ups and downs, everyone is different, and everyone will have their differences, if they didn't there would never be any sort of attraction, I think I would be turned off if everyone looked like me, acted like me etc. Yes people should on their first reaction to a couple having trouble, support them, try to help find ways to fix it, not encourage them to give it up. When you work for years to get to know someone, it should be a last resort to just give up on them completly. It should be a given that you will do anything to try and make it work. I am one of those traditionalists that thinks that marriage should be forever. Anything short of an abusive relationship or someone who is unfaithful, there is no real good reason to get a divorce, you married saying you already knew each other well enough that you believe that you can take whatever comes next.

Running from your problems never solved a thing. There is not a single true problem that will just go away on its own. I really wish people would try and work things out as a first reaction, not just give up on someone. Love is something that two people have to work at, nurture, make it grow, and the more you are willing to put in, the bigger, better and greater it will be. This was a very good question, thank you. Good luck with your girl friend issues.

Answer 2

When I was younger ( OMG, I sound old) but seriously, people didn't give up. Divorce was rare, and divorced people were frowned upon.
I think it's just become a throw-away society. If something breaks, go buy a new one. Easier to replace than to fix. This goes for appliances,electronics, vehicles, and relationships too. With newer models coming out every few months, and people trading in everything else, it's not a suprise they do the same with relationships. I agree it's a major problem. Younger people( lets say mid-late 20's) had half of their friends parents divorced. And even younger probably have several divorces- or worse yet, 4 siblings each with a different father, and mom has never been married. People who have been married 25, 30 years are getting divorced.

I think 4 years is alot of time to put into a relationship, and if it went that long, it got to be worth fighting for. I'm glad you didnt listen to your friends, and wish you luck!

Answer 3

Relationships are serious business for sure. If people would start out with the goal of making it work, there is a chance that it will. It depends on age, emotional maturity, and the right attitude toward the other person. If you think pre-nup or if it does not work out even if I get married, then your looking at the matter in a negative way. Being together with someone is wonderfull. But being with the wrong person is a nightmare, emotional trauma and can be devasting. Some the bottom line is the right attitude toward dating and relationships will manifest itself for the rest of your life. Don't give up. Hope this helps.

Answer 4

Every situation is different, so there could be many reasons. Some people just don't want to try; it's too much of a hassle, too hard, too painful. Others are looking for an easy way out and this works well. Some people aren't good at talking about their problems, or don't feel they're being heard, so they give up. Obviously, if they're not working at it, they don't truly love the other person.

Good for you for not listening to everyone else and working through it. Good luck.

Answer 5

I think it depends on the relationship honestly. Some were in abusive relationships things like that!!

I believe people give the advice of just move on because a lot of times when a relationship ends it is not because of the reason ... and one person ends up getting hurt more for holding on!

Answer 6

I hear ya. My guy says this whenever we argue "This shouldn't be hard, it should be easy, I don't like that it's so hard." I get annoyed that he thinks relationships should just be a walk in the park. I mean hasn't the difficulty of relationships been the source of - well dang - the source of inspiration for almost everything from war to art to music and back again.

Yeah, right, it's supposed to be easy. Ha! At least it would be if my man could stop whining. ;)

Answer 7

It's like with cigarettes.

Ya gotta quit cold turkey.

And what the heck is the point of dragging shite out? The relationship is over. The person doesn't want to be in it anymore. You should respect their wishes, if you really care about them like you say, and move on.

Answer 8

its just the way society is these days. people these days, just don't have the patience. people want instant gratification. its not just relationships, its all society. for example, in the past if you wanted to buy a cd you had to go to the shop. now you can order it on the internet and have it delivered.

with relationships, morals and values are no longer that important. if your current bf/gf is being a pain in the ***, you can go out and try to find someone else. sad but true.

personally, i find it difficult to find women i like. not in the sense that i'm looking for a super model. its just, too many women i find have too much baggage from dating too many people or have been with way too many people. i'm not judging, i just don't find a women who has lost count of the number of sexual partners she's had too be that attractive.

but good for you for working it out. hopefully it'll be worth it.

Answer 9

i completely agree...people just dont seem to have the time or patience to deal with even the smallest problems that could easily be resolved if both partners just worked it out...love and relationships requires both parties to work to keep it going strong and people just want to relax and not stress and just think it should all work out on its own without any effort, which is sad and wrong

Answer 10

i think people give up because either its a 1 sided relationship or that they just feel its not going any were