I have been married for a while now but I can't remember the date it happenend. For years now I felt so unwanted but now that I don't work its worse but when I did all he did was spend my money. For many years I carried this man when he was jobless and in between jobs, I provided him with support. Now that I longer can't provide that extra money I am no longer useful.Over the years I have just lost the urge. I don't feel like a woman anymore. I have packed on over one hundred pounds due to stress and other things...lazyiness. He has the kids call me names like Cindy Bear, rolliepollie, and lardass. I am currently in school but once I finish I plan on leaving him and the kids. This man has caused so much pain. I have even thought of hanging him...I have so much hate for this person until it makes me sick. Its so bad that I have an imaginary place where I am wanted, respected and loved. I hate to see him come home for I know all he will do is cuss at me. Why me ?
2007-12-18 09:08:31 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Because you allow yourself to be a doormat. Read a book on assertiveness, it wont change him but it will help you deal with it til you leave.
2007-12-18 09:16:04 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok..first of all ...why would u leave YOUR children behind?? They only copy behavior and thats not their fault...my advice is this..get ur stuff together and leave him...even while u r puttin a plan in motion...get ur sh** together. first grow a backbone...then start working out..get out of the house and walk...the time alone will do u good. And whatever mean things he is saying about u..im sure you have some come backs...right?? Seriously if u supported him for awhile u know u can do it all alone again...so find a place to move and take care of u and change ur childrens behavior. U r the parent and teach them some respect..crack that whip! Every time they call u a name make a punishment..and stick to it
2007-12-18 09:21:53 · answer #2 · answered by so alone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if someone fails to respect you anymore, then yes, it is time to leave. There is no point in staying where you are clearly the butt of many jokes. Its not pleasant and it doesn't surprise me that you find it stressful. Bide your time, get what you need to get done first, and then leave. The best revenge against this man is for you to live well - after you leave!!! If he sees later on that he has missed out on a gorgeous creature, he will be spitting feathers and regretting his overworked mouth. Meanwhile, keep you head high. Its only his opinion and he sounds like a man who has no love for himself or anyone else.
2007-12-18 09:21:27 · answer #3 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry, my heart goes out to you. I don't suggest you leaving the kids behind it doesn't sound like he's a very positive role model for them and you don't want them to turn out as hateful as he is.
I suggest counseling before you throw the towel in. You really need to be telling him all this. Say..."When you do this it makes me feel like....." otherwise he will percieve whatever you're saying as a personal attack and immediately be defensive instead of hearing you out.
Good Luck!
2007-12-18 09:15:24 · answer #4 · answered by Nashgirl4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him and start to make a better life for yourself. However, what I do not understand is that you say you are also going to leave your children, Why? Are they teenagers who can choose for themselves, or are they younger.
I myself could never leave without taking my children with me, which in fact I did many years ago.,
You can always make a better life for yourself, but you had better be careful that the choices you make are going to be good for you AND your children. If not, later on in life, you will have regrets and guilt, and will once, again, not be happy.
Think everything out first, and decide if you want to be on your own, without your children, in which case they would probably be better off with their father.
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2007-12-18 09:29:24 · answer #5 · answered by Maureen S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry, that you have to go through this. You need to get a divorce asap, you don't need to be verbally abused like this. What are you going to do with the kids? Are you going to take care of them or is he? You should have left him a long time ago.
Good luck.
2007-12-18 09:15:01 · answer #6 · answered by ♥Jessica♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave him not the kids, you can get your relationship back with them, when you get rid of him you will need to get your life back together, might need council
I would sit down with the kids if they are old enough and tell them how you feel about the name calling, and let them know you will not put up with it anymore, they will turn around and if they know how you feel next time husband does it they will take up for you.
they are only doing what one parent is telling them you are not taking up for yourself.
good luck!
2007-12-18 09:32:47 · answer #7 · answered by jeanniep 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont worry about finishing college leave him asap he seem vile , and to get your children to call you names is sickening , **** him right off love go find a man who wants you for you
2007-12-18 09:17:04 · answer #8 · answered by loopylou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont wait, go file for divorce and file for custody and file for child support LOTS of child support.
File on the grounds of emotional, mental and verbal abuse, and tell them how he is teaching your children to be monsters like he is.
2007-12-18 09:47:46 · answer #9 · answered by Joe F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off are they your kids? And if they are, why the hell would you leave them with someone who has no problems calling you names? Imagine the hell he'll put those kids through.
I do think you should leave him, and I think you should take the kids.
2007-12-18 09:13:45 · answer #10 · answered by pamalalauren 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋