he is still drinking. hes on probation for DWI's. he wont go for help. he is to go to meetings twis a week. i was with him for 18 months. 9 months of telling if that he had to stop drinking, then anothere 9 months after she was born. he come home every night from work with beer. so he didnt help with her at all, because i would not let him hold her if he was drinking. he would get 10mins. or so with her in the morning, befor work because he wasnt drinking yet, on his days off he would start drinking about 8am or so. he lost his othere family because of his drinking. he thanks it ok to be drinking when he is with her. he hasa hard time walking when hes drinking. how can i get the court to make him get help first befor trying to help rase his dauther?
2007-12-18 07:54:46 · 15 answers · asked by tabatha d 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I'm not with him, i left in august. i didn't mean to create a child with him. i slept with him1 time and then we had diamond. i thought i would give him the benefit of doubt.
2007-12-20 06:17:40 · update #1
The other 2 kids he has with someone else. She went on and had 4 more kids with he husband.
2007-12-20 06:19:45 · update #2
YOU NEED A LAWYER. A lawyer will be able to file your motions for you and will also know how to best frame the language to get a judge to agree.
Peace,
Jenn
2007-12-18 07:59:05 · answer #1 · answered by jenn_smithson 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why did you make a baby with an alcoholic hon?
His addiction isnt going to "magically" disappear just because he has emotional feelings for you or because you love him and had his baby.
The courts will NOT give him custody with his background UNLESS your background is worse, and THEN they will probably put the child in foster care.
The best thing you can do is tell him he can have supervised visits until he gets sober and stays that way, then dont make anymore babies with alcoholics.
The one thing I ask women on here constantly is:
Wouldnt it be MUCH BETTER, if you found out a guy was a druggie, an alcoholic, an axe murderer , an adulterous player BEFORE making babies with him instead of AFTER?
The way you do that is no sex for a yr or so, and if he is a keeper then you MARRY him and THEN make babies.
2007-12-18 09:18:42 · answer #2 · answered by Joe F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is part of his probation for the DWI's refrain from drinking. If so, call his probation officer and report him for it. I don't think that any sane judge would grant your ex custody or even visitation if it required him driving with the child. It takes alot to prove a mother unfit. Is there court ordered AA meetings already in place? Why isn't he back in jail if he isn't attending and violating probation?
2007-12-18 08:21:08 · answer #3 · answered by orphan annie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he has to want help. The courts can order him to every meeting in the state. Doesn't mean it'll help. If he wants to continue drinking, that's his funeral. Don't make it yours and your child's. My advice for you is to get your child OUT OF THAT SITUATION NOW. Maybe you could benefit from counseling as well, and maybe understand that making a baby with an alcoholic wasn't such a good idea, and learn ways for you not to make that mistake twice.
2007-12-18 08:02:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a good lawyer to do the talking for you. They are worth the money in a case like this. The court should take into consideration his drinking history. Be sure to tell the lawyer the whole story. Also, make a point to cover visitation so he can't get bombed while she is visiting him. Good luck.
2007-12-18 07:59:46 · answer #5 · answered by Pam H 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why are you still with him???? and why would you ever have another child with him????forget his problems he doesn't want to quit drinking and with you he knows he doesn't have too cause you are a matt on the floor for him to walk all over,sorry but that is true!!!you need counseling yourself.AA meetings are not just for people who have drinking problems they are also for the ones who love them and are affected by their drinking problems.honestly do not raise your child like this,if you care about him you need to help him not make excuses or accept this kind of abuse.if you just keep him around for a check get off your butt and get a job!!!! there is a better way to live for you and the kids if he doesn't want it that is his problem!!!! don't make it yours too!!!!good luck!
2007-12-18 08:06:07 · answer #6 · answered by dixie58 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it to court. No judge in his right mind would allow an alcoholic and/or someone with so many convictions to have custody of a 1 year old!
2007-12-18 08:05:12 · answer #7 · answered by That Gay Guy for Da Ben Dan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is on probation, call his probation officer. You will have to file this in family court to have his rights suspended temporarily. This would start a case that would also cover child support, etc.
2007-12-18 07:58:22 · answer #8 · answered by s7e28w81 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why on earth have you had a child with him?????
He should have sorted himself out to deserve a second family and a second chance at being a father.
Hes never gonna sort himself out now...
No one can force him to. Its down to him to want to change.
If i was u i'd leave him. maybe that will shock him into changing... prob not but at least you and your baby will have a chance at a decent life.
This probably isnt what you want to hear but your a single parent now, life will be easier without him.
2007-12-19 22:46:57 · answer #9 · answered by Just me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't imagine the court giving him rights if all of this is true. Make sure you get a lawyer if they do......because that is child endangerment.
2007-12-18 09:38:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋