My father and I used to be close, but have not spoken since he remarried because my stepmother and I were never able to see eye to eye.
I recently found out he is suffering from kidney failure, and that I am a perfect donor match. The waiting list would take about 2 years, and might be too late. At first, I told him no, because he is old and won't live long anyways, and I have a long life ahead and would like to use both of my kidneys.
This holiday shopping season has really made me look at things differently, though. I called last night and offered to donate my kidney afterall, with the understanding that he would make me the primary beneficiary in is living will. I did not and still do not think this is to much to ask from a person willing to give you their organ.
My stepmother became very angry and has called me several times last night and this morning telling me that they would rather wait on the list.
I think she's more worried about my half-siblings and her getting all the money than she is about my father's chances of survival!
2007-12-18 07:46:06 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Tell him to sign over the house as a sign of good faith and then you will donate the kidney.
2007-12-18 08:25:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Because you are a spoiled selfish little brat! You will thank him one day for coming into your life and helping you mom control you and teach you. How about you stop sneaking out, drinking smoking and have some respect for your mom. I am a mom of 4 and step mom to 3 and all 7 of live with us. My ex was not in the picture and if I had to go through my oldest daughters antics like what you are doing by myself I don't know if I could have done it without my husbands support and help. And guess what? Now that she is grown and about to get married, she gets why we were so hard on her and is actually thankful that we insisted she learned proper behavior, respect for others and herself and made her learn and act with decorum and self control. Control yourself and then they won't have to. Believe me they have better things to do than babysit you. Stop being selfish and understand the stress you're putting on your poor mom. She'd like to have a life too but you and your selfish behavior won't let her. I know you don't like my answer but I promise you, in a few years, you'll understand it! Give her a break! Do something for her for a change instead of just thinking of yourself.
2016-04-10 06:26:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
And you're more worried about getting your father's money than you are about his well-being.
First of all, you are being incredibly selfish. You say the holiday shopping season made you look at things differently - that means you realize you want more money to buy more stuff. And you would let your father die if he worries about leaving everything he has to you instead of having you share it with his newly formed family.
You don't realize that even though these kids are only your half-siblings, they are his FULL children - he loves them as much as he loves you. They deserve to be taken care of in the same way you have been taken care of.
I'm sure if you were to generously give your father a kidney without asking for anything in return, he would be forever greatful and be more generous to you while he is alive and in his will. You don't need to blackmail him. Remember that saying - you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar?? You're all sour right now.
2007-12-20 07:54:18 · answer #3 · answered by keengrrl76 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It actually seems YOU are more concerned about the money instead of your father's survival. "At first, I told him no, because he is old and won't live long anyways, and I have a long life ahead and would like to use both of my kidneys." and you also said "offered to donate my kidney afterall, with the understanding that he would make me the primary beneficiary in is living will." thats just selfish. Hes your dad you should do it because you love him not for your personal gain, thats probably the reason your stop mom said no or maybe shes just as selfish as you are and thats why you could never see eye to eye. Shame on you both! Playing with someones life because you cant get over your own issues and GREED!
2007-12-18 07:58:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
It sounds to me as though your stepmother wants him to die of kidney failure quickly, so that she can inherit his money and move on. What you are asking is perfectly reasonable, and may be his only chance of living. I think what you will need is more then just being named the primary beneficiary, instead some sort of legal contract that cannot be changed without your consent will be needed, so that he does not change his will at a later date. I can see that you are a good person, and since giving such an important organ up is not an easy decision, you want to make sure your father is not an ungrateful recipient.
2007-12-18 09:08:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Your stepmother should be ashamed of herself. She is the one putting a price tag on your father's life, you are simply asking for a little something in return for YOUR KIDNEY. If your stepmother truly loved your father she would be changing you to the primary beneficiary on her will also. Ask her why she doesn't love your father anymore and why she wants him to die. Is because he doesn't turn her on anymore? Or maybe she would like a younger man. Either way, this whole ordeal could be avoided if your stepmother would simply divorce your father and let you donate your kidney out of kindness, with a little monetary gift as an extra bonus. If she ultimately refuses to accept your gift, don't give in. Let your father die. This will show the family that you were stronger than her and that you will always stand up for what you believe in. That will teach her a good lesson and the rest of your family will respect you more too.
2007-12-18 10:30:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 3⤋
Honestly? Wills can be changed. If you are not giving the kidney out of a gift of love, then you should not be giving it. I think you summed it up nicely when you said "I have a long life to live and would like to use both of my kidneys." I think you are more worried about getting $$ for your Holiday shopping seasons to come. I feel sorry for you.
2007-12-18 07:51:36 · answer #7 · answered by yogurt777 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I feel that you both are being selfish and your fathers best interest is not there. He is your father and LOVE should have made you say yes in the beginning. You should not want anything in return. He is your father. If it was mine, I wouldn't care if he didn't give me anything. I would give it to my father if I knew he would only live 1 extra day behind it. You need to go to God and ask for forgiveness to be placed in your heart. You should not hold grudges in your heart. And now because your you and your step mom's foolishness, your father is suffering. Give the kidney to your father. I am sure that he gave selfishLESS when you were young. Don't worry about the money. You will be more richly blessed by God for your loving kindness. God Bless
2007-12-18 08:04:03 · answer #8 · answered by Angel 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
My father inherited weak kidneys and could go into kidney failure at any time. I offered to donate one of mine, but he refused to accept it because he loves me so much. He said that I could develop the same problem in a few years, and he wanted me to have use of both of my kidneys--just in case.
It was nice of you to offer your kidney but selfish to expect something from him in return. Quit thinking of yourself as a hero and do something significant for someone else out of love.
If your mom really is upset about the potential monetary loss, it's not much of a stretch to understand why you think and act as you do.
I feel sorry for such a pitiful family.
2007-12-18 08:28:10 · answer #9 · answered by DJ 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It seems as if all of you are concerned about his money. Personally I would have taken the same attitude as her. What happened to love and compassion. Obviously you only care about yourself. You allowed for your relationship with your father to fall apart. Simply because you couldn't see fit to swallow your pride long enough to get along with his wife to make your father happy. No one expected you to be best friends or to even like eachother. All you had to do was co-exist. And you chose not to. Now you request money to save his life. Money should've never even been a question. If you were my daughter I think I'd rather die than to take your kidney...........sorry but it's true. But I guess money does make the world go round. Obviously I have no intention on getting the 10 points for this question, but I don't care. I just can't believe you value his money over his life. One day you will regret even thinking like this.
2007-12-18 08:23:58 · answer #10 · answered by zerotimeforfun 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'm on your stepmothers side on this one.
You are acting totally selfish. This is your father you are talking about, and the only way you will 'save him' is if he names you as beneficiary of his will...
You should want to donate your kidney because you love your father and you want him to survive, NOT because you will get something out of it.
I hope your children don't treat you the same way that you are treating your father.
2007-12-18 07:53:52 · answer #11 · answered by MayMay 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋