A group of my friends are doing a secret santa this year, it's not really secret as everyone knows who's got everyone else. I have got my present for my person and made a light hearted remark to the person who has got mine about how I can't wait for us all to swap gifts. She told me (in all seriousness) that she'd run out of time to get me a gift and that I'll have to wait until January. I don't want to sound rude but I can't help feeling a bit dissappointed. We always go out for lunch and swap gifts and I can't help feeling that I'm going to be a bit left out - being the one person there with nothing to open. Plus we drew names a fortnight ago, and I know she went Christmas shopping the other day. Am I being unreasonable to be a bit annoyed or should I just be greatful that I'm getting something, regardless of when. Also, at the dinner, what should I do when everyone's swapping gifts and talking about what they've got?
2007-12-18 07:09:46 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I don't want to delay giving the girl I've brought for her present as I know that she's brought her person a present and i doesn't seem fair that she's left out.
2007-12-18 07:16:28 · update #1
thanks for all the positive comments - I really thought I was just being rude!
2007-12-18 07:20:13 · update #2
Oh, my God Sweetie! She is just pulling your legs! I am sure she has your gift but is having some fun at your expense and you fell for it! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Cheer up Sweetheart!!!
2007-12-18 07:35:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
thats bad she could have made a little bit of effort, why has she agreed to do it then? i would feel terrible if that was me. my daughter did this at work and the present she got was terrible while she had taken a lot of time and thought in getting something nice for the person she bought for. my 13 yr old daughter is doing this with her friends and its a good idea as we are on a tight budget this year but the prob i have is that several of her other friends who are also doing the secret santa have also bought her presents which means we have to buy things in return as well as the secret santa, the agreed amount was £5 which was fine but im having to spend about £20 for the other people who have bought presents rather cancels out the idea of the secret santa.
2007-12-18 21:00:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that is a bit off. There has been plenty of time for her to get something, so unless she had a real family problems or something like that, then she really has no excuse. I don't think you are being unreasonable to be annoyed, it sounds like everyone else made the effort to get a gift.
However, she may still - if everyone knows who is giving to who, then will she really want to feel embarrased on the lunch? It looks like if she doesn't come up with a gift then, then she will be the one with a red face.
2007-12-18 23:04:51 · answer #3 · answered by puffin57 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is not your problem. This is your Secret Santa's problem. Give it back to her.
You can't help how you feel, but you can help how you act. Be gracious, not matter what. Be polite, and lovely. It is what you do.
First of all, I bet she was joking, just really playing it out well. SHE will look bad, not you.
Go out, and have fun. If you get a present, be gracious. If not, be gracious.
After all, it is secret santa with people at work. This is not a big deal. It is not like SANTA forgot you.
Other people will go overboard to help you be comfortable.
And SHE will not be invited to secret santa again. You give your present and be kind. You insist on having a good time, no matter what silly thing you do or don't get.
hahahahhohohohoho mcahny
2007-12-18 07:24:38 · answer #4 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The person who has failed to get you your secret santa will look the fool not you! How embarrassing to take and not give in this circumstance. You are being completely reasonable, but hold your head high and remember it's only a gift. If at the meal they make a comment about already talking to you about your gift, make sure you say something like " I'll show you all what it is in January when I get it"...even make a joke and say somthing like " you'll all be jealous because I'll get something bigger because they will be buying in the sale!" :)
2007-12-18 07:22:27 · answer #5 · answered by twinkletoes 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to be annoyed. Everybody has had the same time to get their secret Santa gift, and she should have made time to get yours.
I think she is being very rude. Personally, I would make a point of telling everyone at the Christmas lunch that your secret Santa couldn't make the time to get you something.
I feel sad for you. The Secret Santa idea just doesn't work unless everyone plays their part.
PS You should get a colleague to have a word with her. Your secret Santa could pop out during her lunch hour and sort this problem before she embarrasses herself.
xx
2007-12-18 07:17:03 · answer #6 · answered by Happihawkeye 6 · 8⤊ 1⤋
Don't give up on her - she may be trying to keep "mum" about her gift.
And so what if you have to wait until January to get a gift - or not even get a gift at all? It's not about the gifts - it's about the friendship.
And really it isn't reflecting badly on you - it's SHE who looks stupid.
But if you make a stink over it - you'll come out being the stinky one. So let it blow over.
Actually, my office decided to adopt a family for Christmas instead of exchange gifts. It's really brought us closer together.
You might want to consider that for next year.
2007-12-18 07:29:33 · answer #7 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would be niffed off if it was me because she had lots of notice and the entire point of secret Santa is through trust and co-operation and she has failed on both those levels i would drop a few sutle complaints to your Friends about it or just not turn up for the day. This isn't about not being reasonable it is about the fact that she has ruined that day you all planned not caring about what you would feel at all.
2007-12-18 07:20:30 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd be a little ticked off to if some one said they had ran out of time to buy me anything when there's still one week left. I'm a typical male and haven't done any Christmas shopping yet and don't plan to until Christmas eve like I do every year but I still get all my shopping done in time. When my friends piss me off in some way I just give them a new nick name, in this case something simple like Slow would do, then when people ask you why you have started calling her Slow explain to them why, then everyone knows and hopefully everyone starts calling it her to.
2007-12-18 07:40:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Could you possibly tell the person who arranged the secret santa and let her know that you didn't get anything. Have the person who was going to give her a gift give it to you.
Since she didn't participate, her gift should now be yours. She's out and should receive nothing.
2007-12-18 07:29:01 · answer #10 · answered by Highly Evolved 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your friend has put you in an uncomfortable position and has also pretty much told you that she had no time for your gift. Nice friend. I would reconsider her in that way for the future. However, you have a lunch to attend. Smile and be polite. She's the one who will look ridiculous for not bringing the gift. Won't that be fun?
2007-12-18 08:27:32 · answer #11 · answered by dawnb 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋