I want to leave my boyfriend but don't know how to tell him?

Question

Everything is Ok in our relationship.He wants to marry me. He always dreams of our wedding day and us having children etc. But I have got my own issues. I am quite overweight and thus lack self-confidence. I am always selfconscious about my looks and my movements. I am getting nervous about meeting my parents-in-law and I don't think that I will be able to give birth to healthy babies. I cannot even believe that he truly loves me since even I can't love myself. Should I leave him? I do not want to ruin his life too.

Answer 1

You should stay with him and get healthy.

Answer 2

You need to get some counseling. Go to a minister or your doctor.

The first step is accepting that he cares/loves you. Accept that and work from there. You say everything is OK in relationship, obviously not if you are so worried and self-conscious and doubting. A lot of overweight women give birth to healthy babies. Talk to your doctor and have him prescribe a healthy diet of food and excercise. Join the gym, go for a a walk, etc. Try to lose some weight, but check with the doctor. Don't break up, talk to your boyfriend. Not all people only see beauty on the outside, a lot see beauty on the inside.

Discuss your fears and issues with him and ask for help, this will help you. ''Good luck. Do not break up

Answer 3

Don't marry him and bring that insecurity into the marriage. It will only end in divorce...might take several years, but it WILL end the marriage.

Tell him you aren't ready for marriage. Don't let his positivity talk you into it.

Secondily, where did your insecurity come from? Why do you believe that someone can't love you the way you are? Do you have to be perfect? Did your parents support you or do they reinforce the idea that 'appearances' are important?
Chance are your insecurity is not SIMPLY because you are overweight. In fact the obesity may be a RESULT of the insecurities..ever think of THAT?

At the very least, you need to to talk to a professional, preferrably one with marriage counseling experience.
You don't HAVE to be married to see a marriage counselor.
If you belong to a church, see if you can talk to your minister.


THEN, get yourself and as many of your friends/family into a weight loss program. Statistics show that your if your friends and family are not involved in the solution, your chances of success dramatically lower. - The more support you have from the people who love you, the easier it will be to make life changes.

If you have medical insurance or your employer has an employee assistance program, see if you can meet with a professional at least twice a month to work thru your insecurity issues.

Answer 4

Hey! Before you marry or leave him, tell him how you feel first. Let him know of your doubts, and if he interrupts you before you can finish what you are saying then express to him that you need him to hear you out.

If you have to write out your thoughts and feelings of your self and him, and the relationship between you two. Read back over it, and write it out in a speech form to help you practice talking to him about it. This may sound silly, but sometimes this will help you stay focused on your conversation with him.

As far as being overweight, it may not matter to him. If it bothers you then do something about it. You need to learn to love yourself and know your boundaries before you get serious with any man.

I am a healthy man, but for some reason I have a feeling that if I were to marry and have kids that my kids would not be healthy. So that is a normal fear that future parents have.

Don't marry this man if you feel he is the only one who would ever marry you. There are other men in the world that would find you just as attractive and won't put you on the spot to make you love them. Life is short, and it doesn't wait around for anyone.

Answer 5

You need to stop putting yourself down, this man loves you for who you are, if he didnt he would not of asked you to marry him, you do have confidence, other wise you would not have told all those people who you do not know about yourself, it does not matter what weight you are every other woman who has give birth had some sort of problem even myself giving birth, and you would say "what a skinny thing like you" yes three times, so go out their and start looking towards your future, with a man who loves you, good luck

Answer 6

Sounds like you're very depressed
and it goes beyond the weight issue.
Talk to your family doctor about how
you feel inside. He can guide you in
the right direction. You need to take
care of YOU first...before getting
more overwhelmed with marriage,
in-laws and babies. You should
be honest with your boyfriend as
well. There's no rush to run
out and get married, right? If he
loves you, he'll wait and be supportive
but Please don't just give up on yourself!
Life can be really good, but that's all
up to you!
Good Luck:~)

Answer 7

Leaving him because of these things would be stupid. You will only regret it. Just remember that he picked you. There are 6 billion people in the world, so approximately 3 billion are women, and he picked you. If he wants to get married and children, then you really have nothing to worry about.

I would try talking to him about how you feel and perhaps going to therapy or some form of group meeting to boost your confidence. Try to focus on your positives and either ignore, accept or improve your negatives.

Best of luck!

Answer 8

Sweetie why do you want to leave your man? Don't do that because you are unhappy with how you look on the outside he obviously sees something in you that he wants and loves or you would not be with him and you would not be meeting his parents. Have you discussed how you felt about how you look to him? If so and he is still with you that should speak volumes to you. Love is about you and how you see yourself. I probably stay very far away from you and I will share something with you. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. You are sweet and caring I can tell by your letter love your man and work through the issues with him not away from him.

Answer 9

I wouldn't say you should leave him, but I definitely think you need to deal with your insecurities. It will make it harder for him to love you in the long run if you don't love yourself. Your self worth is not based on your weight..it is based on who you are inside and he obviously loves the person you are. Please do whatever you can to help build your self esteem. You have to believe you are all that and then others will believe it. Maybe counseling or talking to someone you really trust will help you work those issues out. Good luck sweetie..you deserve the best!!!

Answer 10

If you love him, do not "leave" him. You obviously need some time away to regain your self confidence and maybe find out who you are. I would suggest a break and see how things go. Tell him you need to take some time for yourself and find out what you want in your life. Just know that either way, a break or a break-up, is going to hurt him like hell. Sometimes it is necessary though to make the relationship work. You can't truly love another person with all of your heart if you do not love yourself.

Answer 11

You might start off a good healthy relationship with communication. Tell him of your fears and tell him how insecure you feel.

If you wish not to have a long term relationship or marriage with this man, just tell him you are not comfortable with the idea of a long lasting relationship or marriage right now. And until you do feel comfortable, you need more time.

If you want to break it off with him all together, then tell him you want to move on with your life. And leave it at that.