to interacial/international adoptees?

Question

have you ever been with your family in a line and the cashier thinks you're the next person in line?or you had a family member in the ICU but because you weren't the same color as them the hospital refused to believe you were a relative and refused to let you in siting family members only? how did it make you feel? and did you ever find a way to prove it?

Answer 1

It made me feel angry, because it felt like they thought I was lying. My grandma was rushed to the hospital and when I got there she was in the emergancy room. Well anyway, when I asked to go back there, they looked at me funny. so i simply said "i'm adopted". I always hate that people can be so dimissive or rude when it comes to my adoption. But i have to try to look past it.

Answer 2

Well I have never experienced anything at the hospital. But I do remember standing in line to get some medication and the lady that was behind the desk did a double take. And asked my mom if I was hers. She laughed it off and said yes and told her I was adopted. There have been a few times where maybe we go to a restaurant together and the hostess/host will question if we are all together. I just have to let people’s ignorance roll right off me.

In my case this goes beyond being adopted often people will just look at skin tone and assume. My birthmother was white had I stayed with her I don’t doubt I would have gotten some of this too. People again tend to first look at skin tone, not physical features. It’s something that is experienced by mixed race people, and by people who have mixed raced children. On a forum I’m a member of this bi-racial (black/white) girl posted how since she was extremely light and her mother was quite dark that her mother was always mistaken for her nanny or babysitter. People would be baffled when she introduced her mother and would sometimes ask if she was adopted. Her full blood sister who inherited more of her mothers skin tone did not get this.

Its beyond me why today (nearly 2008)its hard for some people to realize that people do adopt Trans-racial. Or that people marry or have children with someone who is a different race and their kids thus are mixed raced. And can really come in a variety of different shades and tones. They can be as dark as the darkest parent sometimes even darker. They can be as light as the lightest parent and in some cases lighter. Or they can end up somewhere in the middle. They can inherited more physical features from dad who is Asian or they can inherited more from mom who is Hispanic.

Or even people who marry someone of a different nationality. The person just thinking “why does this white woman have the surname Takahashi” they aren’t think well “Maybe this woman married a Japanese husband or maybe this woman was adopted by a Japanese family.”

i suppose its just people's ignorance not being aware of things.

Answer 3

My brother and I are both biologically related to my parents and the products of an interracial marriage. My mother is a petite, dark-haired, dark-eyed, tan Latina and my father is tall and Caucasian with blond hair and blue eyes. Both my brother and I have taken after my mother in the aspect of dark hair, dark eyes and an ability to tan. But, we're also both tall like my father. I'm about 5'9 and my brother's 6'2 like my father. My brother also looks Italian to some people and I've had a perma-tan since I was 2.
My mother has taken to telling my brother and I to say 'mom' and 'dad' in public with them because there is the worry that either I'd look like a gold-digger when I'm in public with my father or that she looks like a cougar or a lesbian if she's out with either of us, especially considering that my parents have been known to say 'honey', 'sweetie' and other words of affection.
Aside from saying 'mom' and 'dad' in public, I sometimes go with both of my parents to places in the hope that people see the family resemblance.

Answer 4

I have twins that are adopted and a little girl that is my biological child. The twins are beautiful brown Brazilian babies. My biological child's father was my first husband. I am now expecting with my second husband's child. We went to the dentist today. And he asked "what do you think your sister will look like?" She said "I don't know". He responded "I bet she will look like you". She said "Brothers and sisters don't have to look alike. She will probably look like my mom". I guess at 6 she told him.

We are proud to be a unique family and we don't take offense to other's ignorance. If we have a chance to educate we do. Life is too short to get offended.

Answer 5

Around where I live bi-racial biological children are common, but I've wondered if people may at times think that when a white mom has an African-American baby for instance if they assume it's adopted...These kids will experience the same things, but they are blood children....

Answer 6

Yikes. I have so many stories about this it isn't funny. I'm Asian and my little sis is bi-racial and our father is white. One day we were sitting on the subway and this old woman leans over to my father and whispers "Mister, I think your wife is cheating on you!"

When I was little this really bugged me because I didn't understand the way adults thought, but now it kind of amuses me. I carry ID that proves I'm related to my realitives and that's usually enough to get people to back off.

Answer 7

Nothing like that has ever happened to me, but I've certainly had looks. I'm Korean and my adoptive family is white. When I was little, my grandparents came for a visit...we lived in a very small town so everyone knew who I was. In a small town, you can imagine it's rare for a white family to adopt a Korean baby. Anyway, my grandfather took me to the grocery store - just a quick errand. A lady from our church yelled at him & snatched me up thinking he was some perverted old man trying to kidnap me!!! :) ha ha! I laugh thinking what his face must have looked like. He smiled & explained who he was and thanked the lady for being so protective of me.

I'm glad I didn't have many of those problems. My father was a pastor of a very large church in a smallish town so everyone kind of knew who I was, so I didn't have to worry about the "is she with you" kind of stares.....fortunately!

Answer 8

My husband is half Japanese and I'm Caucasian but I took his last name which is Japanese. Sometimes people look at me funny and I even had someone ask me if I was Asian based on my last name alone. My daughter looks a lot like me but my cousin-in-law is Hispanic and her husband is Japanese and they have a daughter who looks 100% Japanese. She's tired of people asking her if she's the nanny.

Answer 9

My son is biracial (and he's mine, lol) and people have asked me if I adopted him. I was with my MIL in Boston Market one day and the lady assumed we weren't together, lol. We were like, UM HELLO. It is what it is, people are always going to ask questions or think different things if it's not on their "normal radar" I guess..

Answer 10

one time when I was younger, i had just learned to ride my bike and my adad was following me in his truck on the road behind me. When a car passing by stopped and asked if I new that strange "white man" behind me. Its one of my earliest memories of FEELING different than my aparents due to race.

Or when I would go places with my adad and a man who worked for him that was partially my race, the people would assume I was the "workers" daughter, and not my adads daughter.

it sucks.

Its another reminder of our sooo many differences from the non adopted.

pfffft.