im having a really hard time with my stepdad? can you help me?

Question

i call my stepdad, dad, but i really dont feel right about it. hes not really being a real one to me. its so hard to really love him like i should because hes done good things for me like a real father should. but now hes being downright mean and harsh to me and my siblings. and yeah, weve gotten in trouble, but he shouldnt treat us unfairly. i really want to respect im, but i dont know how.

so my questions are: i dont want to call him dad anymore, but how would he react to it? would that be a mistake and/or disrespectful? any advice?

thanks in advance!!!

Answer 1

As a stepdad - I think I've earned the right to be called "dad", but I never "forced" it. I have never called my son - "stepson", and I think he has always appreciated the fact that I always introduce him as my son (his real father never played a role in his life).

That doesn't mean I can't stop being a parent. I would treat a teenager differently than I treat a 5 year old. Why? I expect more from a teenager than I do from a 5 year old. So what you perceive as unfair, is simply the result of our expectations and your misbehavior.

Answer 2

I have a stepdad too...but my situation is kinda' opposite yours...I love my stepdad to death and always have...never new my real father untill a few years back. When i meet my real father Jim...I started to call him dad...then i saw the real side of him and how unfair he was w/ me and the rest of his kids....so after some time I just sat down and talked w/ him and said "ya know i really don't feel comfortable w/ calling you my father/dad...and i'm sorry but i need you to understand and accept that" and he did, tell him your true feelings. Hope that helps and goo luck!

Answer 3

It is common to get upset when discipline comes down. Stepdads have a tough go. They are there because they choose to. I think it would be disrespectful to discontinue calling him Dad just because you are mad. Sometimes things are tough and he may be going through a rough time and need an extra hug right now. Teenagers can be difficult. Be thankful he is sticking around. Many men wouldn not.

Answer 4

well I can sympathize because I really don't want anything to do with my step dad either. You know hes not your real dad so you shouldn't have to call him that. He will probably take it as a sign of disrespect, but it sounds like he doesn't respect you much either. Call him by his first name. I do.

Good Luck

Answer 5

How about respecting him and what he wants?  Stop getting into trouble.  He is being mean in your eyes b/c you have never seen this in him.  He just cares!!  You should call him more than just dad.  How about sir?

Answer 6

Maybe try and get along with him cause it might upset things more. If you don't want to call him Dad, don't call him neither so instead of saying "hi Dad" just say "hi" . Also tell your Mum about how you feel and see what she says.

Answer 7

no not at all just talk to him tell him how u feel and until he asks like a real dad, then you ll call him dad!!!! nothing wrong with that. wheres your mom in this

Answer 8

depends. if he's disrespecting you.............
You say your getting in trouble though. Do you realize it's breaking his heart and when kids do this, it really makes us adults, parents, feel we have failed some where and don't know where, so we take it out on the ones disrespecting us!

Answer 9

keep in mind that you are posting this out of anger. Let it go a few days and think of question again your feelings may change.

Answer 10

no thats not mean or disrespectful...thats called keeping it real ok... its your decesion not his you cant live life to please other people you gotta remember live life to please you....he might react confused but that a personal problem if he is already your stepdad you should at least be able 2 call him what u please....its your mouth ya digg???