She is older than me and we have the same in laws. She is very artistic in cooking, sewing, painting, etc. And I'm not. I am more artistic in things I like to keep private like writing and poetry. Everyone from my parents to my in laws always compare me to her and ask me why I don't know how to do the things she does, and they always tell me to learn the things she knows. I'm not interested in the stuff she likes, I'm a different person and have different interests. It gets so annoying... why don't they understand that I'm an individual?
2007-12-18 04:52:27 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have that same problem... I get compared to my cousin Miss Betty Crocker, she cooks for hundreds Of people, has 3 kids, married, housewife, and I'm more into dancing and arts and enjoying my single life and the fact that i don't want children you know today that makes them think and they start comparing...
Family will act like they don't understand, but deep down they do and they respect it
2007-12-18 04:59:48 · answer #1 · answered by Pirate ♥ Kitten 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Competition belongs in sports and things of that nature. It does not belong in the family. How ironic, I hear the opposite, that our youngest is a "baby" which he isn't , because he chooses to keep his butt out of trouble, doesn't have a hobby of pitting people, and spreading rumors all the time. It's the polar opposite of what you note here ...I hope.
Your parents will always be your parents, including your inlaws and you their daughter/DIL and really they mean well. Cooking is not so bad, in fact a living skill along with being part of family nurture and home organization. It's an art, yes, to some people who are chefs or have aquired the talent. You could always remind your parents and, as a DIL to inlaws, to address you regarding you if they feel the need to offer elder advice/wisdom. As for me, I enjoy doing all of the things you mentioned except I occassionally read poetry not write it. Your parents know who you are so stop acting robbed of your individuality because that isn't possible anyways. You do not have to stop writing if you start cooking and I've stumbled on some really cool sites out there that are loaded with quick recipes to grand feasts. You might like set ingedient cookbooks. I have a cookbook that requires only three ingredients for each recipe...it's great for busy times ; )
2007-12-18 05:26:52 · answer #2 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it is an unfair comparison and must be frustrating but you aren't alone. In fact, you aren't even one in a million! If you have brothers, sisters, cousins etc.., I can promise you are being compared in one way or another.
Come up with some good, snappy answers when they ask you why you aren't like your sister or why you can't do so in so. Among that answer should be, why don't you? or I have absolutely no interest in that. It is also okay to let them know that it hurts your feelings or upsets you when they compare you in that way.
Meanwhile, know within yourself, that you are a wonderful, artistic, unique person. You don't need their approval or understanding, it comes from within you.
2007-12-18 05:02:57 · answer #3 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cause people suck....
It is annoying but that's them and you're you. Obviously you did something right you are married and have the same in-laws as your sis. Does that count for anything?
Poetry is a wonderful artistic ability -so what if you don't enjoy showing off. I say good for you!
2007-12-18 05:10:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh no its not a problem:-))) its normal.im a very messy and never cooked in life and im sometimes spoiled and i like go out and never take a responsibility and my sister is very organised and very responsible and lots and lots of nice qualities wich i dont have bcz again i act sometimes like kids.so thats why ppl sometimes tell me to just be like her.its nothing wrong its just that they love me so much that they want me to be responsible too.so its for good causes not that they dont get that im another person with another caractere.so dont be upset.deep down they know that u r different than her and that theres something special in u even if they dont say it.and 3id sa3id :-)))))
2007-12-18 19:35:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal for people to always compare sisters or even brothers. They should understand that you both are 2 totally different people. Let them know how you feel. Maybe they are doing it, but not really meaning it. You just have to be honest with them and let them know that it bothers you.
2007-12-18 04:59:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your parents! I don't understand why parents do this to their children, but they do. I am in the same situation with my younger sister, she gets all the attention from my mother like she is perfect and she is the worst acting one in my family. Tell your parents that it bothers you and you are your own person, Sometimes we have to stand-up for ourselves. Maybe they will change or maybe not. But you tried.
2007-12-18 05:08:32 · answer #7 · answered by Tammy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Compare them to other people and tell them for the life of you, you just cannot understand why they don't do the same things as other people that you know.
2007-12-18 05:01:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am sorry, but you know what family is like that and we just have to learn to deal with it but you do what your heart tells you OK at lest you are not out there getting in trouble with the law. they should be grateful that they have there kids in there lives some parent don't
2007-12-18 06:05:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats the parents keeping sibling rivalry going
2007-12-18 08:28:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋