i know a women who has 2 kids a boy whos 12 and a girl 5, all in all shes a good mother the boy is a good caring kid her daughter is a handfull disrespectfull ect.. but she is very short with her son very testy , never gives him a break while letting her daughter get away with murder. they have 2 diffrent fathers .can anyone explain this to me
2007-12-18 04:44:25 · 29 answers · asked by IRISHGUY 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
ive tried to address the issues with hr and all i get is that im crazy you dont know how bad he is
2007-12-18 04:49:05 · update #1
If it was a bad break up, she could be taking her feelings/anger/frustration for the father of the son out on the son.
2007-12-18 04:48:35 · answer #1 · answered by Leather and Lace 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Jasmine. I think all of her frustration lies with the 5 year old, and the poor 12 year old forgets to take out the garbage and it's the end of the world! It is hard to have multiple children when one of them is hard to handle. I have a 6 yr old, a 5 yr old, and a 2 year old. The two year old is a handful, where the other two are well behaved. I find myself so frustrated with my two year old sometimes that it puts me in an awful mood, and I have had to apologize to my other children for being in a bad mood. I feel for her. By the way, it is hard to hear (even from someone that you love) that others see this problem. I fell like I am doing the best that I can and at other times, I don't. My mom tries to talk to me about it, and it always upsets me (makes me feel like I am not doing the best that I can?? I guess...). I do not think that it has to do with the two different fathers.
2007-12-18 06:32:34 · answer #2 · answered by timber_2246 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way that this mother feels about her children's fathers may be a lot of the reason she treats them so differently. My Aunt has always treated her children differently (one son and two daughters with three different fathers). She has always been hardest on the children that she had when she was very young. I wonder if the woman you know is taking out her feelings for the boy's father on her son.
2007-12-18 04:52:17 · answer #3 · answered by orangeflameninja 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has a problem with a form of a "lie" that she doesn't even know exists. Sometime in her past she probably had something happen (saw something, heard, thought, etc) that has made her have a preconcieved notion about what the outcome of her childs actions would be. She probably doesn't even realize that she is doing what she is doing. I have seen this sort of thing on shows like Montell before. There is a good book by Ruth Carter Stapleton called "the gift of inner healing" that might help her out.
2007-12-18 04:49:46 · answer #4 · answered by safety 1st 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be that she expects more out of her son because of his age, and because he's a good kid, so when he does make a mistake, it's more grave than a child who is out of line all the time.
It's possible, too, that she doesn't like her sons father, and takes it out on the boy. That would be a shame if it were true, but it's always an option.
Cheers
2007-12-18 04:48:05 · answer #5 · answered by Sarah P 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well for one thing, she is a single parent I take it? It's likely that her frustration comes from the 5 year old, but she knows that the 12 year old is a good kid so he's the skapegoat. When she yells at him, he probably doesn't respond the way the 5 year old does, she she finds it easier to yell at him that get into a battle with the younger child.
2007-12-18 04:52:57 · answer #6 · answered by Karla 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
came from a household just like that. mother hated my father so she hated me. she divorced my father and married another had 2 children hated them. divorced him. had an affair with her first love had a son. kicked the three of us to the curb and loved him. he could do nothing wrong. even robbery and attempted murder. she now hates all the children from the three oldest, her grandchildren, and only loves his children. these women are not too smart. in the end teach how to be selective when it comes to love. best thing is to learn from this and never treat your children that way. i have three children and several grandchildren and love them all the same. hope this helps. remember that its not the child's fault. the parent doesn't know any better.
2007-12-18 04:55:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She could be taking out her feelings for the father's out on the kids. Which is very sad. Or one was not wanted and the other was, either way, she has a moral responsibility and legal one to be a good parent.
2007-12-18 04:54:29 · answer #8 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Favoritism and the fact that the little boy does not stand up for himself while the daughter fights back - bullies usually don't fight with people that fight back. How sad and unfortunate - that little boy is going to have some major issues growing up. Try to talk to her about how the little boy must feel about being treated like that.
2007-12-18 04:47:44 · answer #9 · answered by wellbeing 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The boy may be giving her more of a hard time than her daughter---more than you realize. Two different fathers and the circumstances surrounding these children could have something to do with it as well. Also, she could be partial to girls. It isn't right, but I'm only trying to make sense of dysfunction here.
2007-12-18 04:48:41 · answer #10 · answered by Marina 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋