And my divoce has only been final for a year. Don't get me wrong i want to get married. But i can't afford it I know that my mom and dad aren't going to chip in. But my bro got some chick pregnant and they didn't pressure him to get married. I just don't think its very fair. Plus at my wedding I would like to dance and drink and have lots of fun and not be pregnant. And its not like my guy and I aren't breaking up or anything.
Help!!!
Please be nice.
2007-12-18 04:40:16 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
And just that all all you know this. I already have a child and i don't need to get drunk to have a good time. I just think that i deserve to be happy and have a blast. Because the 1st time around for me wasn't so great!!!
And i do re-call asking to be nice and honestly if you have nothing nice to say keep it to your selfs!!!! I am not 16 i am 25!!!! So I don't see where you think you can get off getting down on me. Trust me i know how hard it is being a single mother. I have been doing it for 4 years!!!! So i would suggest that you stop judging others because you will get yours!!!!
2007-12-18 05:29:10 · update #1
Just because you made one boo boo doesn't mean you should potentially make a second. Your parents should know this but many only see the religious aspect of it all. It seems your parents are very religious. You already conceived out of wedlock so it isn't going to all of a sudden fix things, maybe for them but you sound like you are not ready. Just tell them politely to back off because you aren't ready.
And CHARLES, what makes you the high priest of morality? Don't be so quick to judge.
2007-12-18 05:08:45 · answer #1 · answered by Veritas et Aequitas () 7 · 3⤊ 5⤋
First of all, we all will be nice, but you have to realize some realities here.
Your mom is right! (just realize that moms usually are!)
At your age, it's time you realized that you and the dad should be doing the responsible thing already and get married before the child comes.
Boo hoo about your parents not paying for the wedding. If you're adult enough to get pregnant, you can pay for your own wedding. Just go to the courthouse, or plan something very modest.
Your thinking is kind of skewed that your wedding should be a blowout party for you. Girl, you are long past that stage...
You've made your choices, and these are the consequences. Grow up. You now have TWO children to think about, not just yourself. They deserve the stability and security of being in a family with married parents.
2007-12-19 02:15:54 · answer #2 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Just tell them it is not up for discussion. A constant Nope will work eventually.
When I was younger my parents were so bad that when it would get to the point where I wanted to speak disrespectfully to them... I would stop myself and say "This is unacceptable behavior." and I would put down what ever I was doing and I'd leave. They wouldn't see me again for many months and eventually this technique worked like a shock collar. They were severely broken and not participating in the pattern was a matter of survival for me.
2007-12-18 17:42:19 · answer #3 · answered by bountifiles 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Since your 25 years old.. Then my best suggestion is to tell your mother that this subject is NOT up for discussion. That your happy with how things are for the moment, and when you wish to talk about it then you will. I know my mother was the same way when my brother got both his ex-wife and his wife now pregnant before he married both of them. I hope ive helpedyou.Good luck.
2007-12-18 07:16:24 · answer #4 · answered by Leslie Y 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Tell your mom you and your bf will get married, but not now because the time isn't right. Give her a time line ( a year or two maybe). Also mention that you want to have a nice wedding, and need the time to save up.
2007-12-18 04:45:24 · answer #5 · answered by Cute Mom of 2 6 · 4⤊ 2⤋
If you are unsure about marrying the guy, then don't. It's YOUR life...no one else's. You should do what makes you happy. And as far as being able to drink and dance at your wedding...I totally understand that...a wedding is one big celebration so understandably you would want to have fun.
I would just explain to your mom that you totally respect her opinion, but you just don't feel that getting married right now is the right decision for you.
Also....some people on here are so mean! I don't get it. Back off people...it's her life. I mean if she doesn't want to marry the guy, then that is her decision.
2007-12-18 06:47:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
Just tell her that you are not ready and you wish that she would respect you. It's obvious that you are mature enough to have gotten out of a previous bad relationship and it is too soon to jump the gun and get married just because you are pregnant. It really sounds like the pressure is coming from some insecurity that she has. It's her issue don't let it get to you.
2007-12-18 05:28:45 · answer #7 · answered by oy vey 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Tell your mom you will get married when you are ready.
If she pushes you, either constantly change the subject, or leave the house when she starts badgering you.
Then write out a nice note to her explaining your views and why you aren't ready yet and when she starts in again, hand her the letter and leave again.
2007-12-18 12:34:50 · answer #8 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
u do deserve a good time at ur wedding.
talk to ur mother and father tell them that ur 2 stressed out because there presaureing u, to much stress could hurt u and the baby, and ur not ready to get married again, let them knw that they have upset u its the only way to get through to parents trust me, and if they are being horrible to u and not ur brother tell them its not nice to be bullied like this ur parents cant control u.! id say something before they do.
2007-12-18 08:18:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
There are legal things you need to consider - that apply to women and children - that don't necessarily apply to men.
I'll be as nice as I can but I think you're being really immature about the entire "I want a wedding" thing. You say you can't afford it now - what about once baby gets here - you'll have a whole lot less money for stupid things like parties.
So it's not fair that Bro wasn't pressured into getting married? And who says life is fair? It isn't. Get used to it.
Finally, your thing about wanting to dance and drink etc. Why do you need to get drunk to have a good time? Sad.
So either get married now - or later. That's up to you - but trust me, once baby gets here your partying days are pretty much "over."
I'd like to be "nicer" but honey, you're wanting the world at your feet - that isn't going to happen.
2007-12-18 05:11:04 · answer #10 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 5⤊ 5⤋