Time-out or spankings?

Question

How do you think children should be disciplined? (for willful disobedience, when they clearly understand what is expected of them and choose to do otherwise)

Answer 1

there is actually a scientific answer to this question, but it depends on one thing: what is your goal? if your goal is to teach the child the desirable behavior, time out is the way to go. if your goal is simply to stop the negative behavior while it is happening, then you choose spanking or yelling or some type of what we call "type 1 punishment." type 1 punishment is when you introduce an aversive stimuli. in layman's terms, type 1 is when you do something to the person that they do not like. type 1 punishments do NOT teach positive behaviors. in fact, they may teach negative ones as they model hostility. but they do have a place. if your child is about to run into the street, hit another kid, touch the hot stove, then you yell, smack, whatever you have to do to STOP the behavior right then. but the problem with these punishmentsis that they only work when the punisher is present. if you want your child to learn how to behave positively, then you shoudl use positive reinforcement -- catch him or her doing what you WANT and reward him or her, even with just praise. for discipline, choose type 2 punishment, which includes time out. type 2 punishments involve removing the person from the chance to do things they like. so don't do a time out in a play room, for example. a few other time out guidelines: no longer than 5 minutes, and if the child completes the time out agreeably, praise him or her at the end. now, this may take a little restraint. as a culture, we are taught to lash out when we are angry (a perfect example of how punishment teaches negative behavior). however, it has been proven by generations of behavioral psychologists that animals and humans LEARN via positive reinforcement and type 2 punishments -- not type 1.

Answer 2

I think it depends on the child and the crime.

I have three children. They are all totally different people with different thinking. What may work for one does not work for the other.

I do believe whichever punishment is selected for the child that they should be explained to and talked to before dishing it out.

Now, I do spank if one hits the other, no matter what. And I will explain to them why, then put them on time out too so they can think out what has happened, why they did what they did, and if they'll be more respectable of the other child next time.

It's hard to say what is the correct punishment, kids are fragile and all they want is understanding which, is the hardest for us adults at times.

Answer 3

I use spankings as a last resort, usually for really awful stuff, or for dangerous, bodily harm incidents- my logic is that my child will "remember" that!? Anyhow, I use time outs, but they don't work much of the time as my children get older. I believe in natural consequences when appropriate (and when you can actually think of one other than hitting them). I also use the old concept of putting them in a corner, facing the wall, especially when they are willfully disobeying. My arsenal mainly consists of natural consequences. If they decide (choose) to not come to the table for dinner, well then they'll probably miss it. If they choose to play rough on the playground despite repeated warnings, then they'll have to say sorry to the other child and we leave. If they decide to have a temper tantrum, then they have chosen to sit in their room alone and do it. You get the idea. Good luck. Don't loose your cool.

Answer 4

Time out does not work unless you do it properly and consistently. Spanking is setting a bad example. If you spank your child, don't get upset if you get spanked back.

The absolute best form of discipline that has worked for me, many friends and even used in schools is called magic1-2-3. It is a program, a book or dvd you can buy. I borrowed it at the library. It really works. It just teaches you how to properly do time outs. I highly recommed it. It created peace in my household. It works on kids as young as 2 and old as 12.

Check out the amazon.com ratings http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw/002-9456847-8689657?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=magic+123&x=0&y=0

Answer 5

It depends on the "crime." You don't give the death penalty to a robber who stole a peice of bubble gum and you don't give a ticket to a mass murderer. The same thing works with disciplining children. I believe in both spanking and time-outs.

Answer 6

I don't think that either one are particularly useful. Make the punishment fit the crime. How is a spanking or a time-out appropriate for anything?

Answer 7

I think that they should learn why what they did was a bad choice through discussion, natural consequences, modelling and instruction. If they are making a bad choice in a situation then it would seem that they truly don't understand why it is a bad choice.

Answer 8

Timeouts just don't work, the kid won't stay there and will likely cause a bigger problem. With spanking, the kid associates punishment with a certain action and learns not to do it again.

Answer 9

Time-outs are for calming a small child down, they are not punishment. For wilful disobedience, pull down their pants and spank.

Answer 10

you sit them down and ground them from a toy for a few days or sit them down and tell them what they did and why it is wrong and if they do it again they will get this consequence


NEVER EVER EVER EVER HIT A CHILD! spanking included