I am embarassed and feel pathetic about the fact that I am about to turn 20 and have never had a girlfriend?

Question

Seriously I can't stand being single, I feel like I am the only one around this age who has not dated or been in a relationship with the opposite sex. I swear that I am not gay, it's just that I am afraid to ask a girl out on a date because I am afraid she will say no, plus I have a hard time meeting girls because I go to community college and I don't see the same people everyday since people have different schedules and go in and out at different times, it's way different from high school. Any tips or advice on where are the best places to meet girls besides in community college?, man, who else is 20 and older and has never had a boyfriend/girlfriend or never dated?, it would make me feel so much better since I can have people to relate to?, also when I do I know it's the right time to ask a girl out?, because I don't wanna ask too soon, also how do I approach a girl without appearing desperate or like a stalker?, because I get afraid that I might give that impression.

Answer 1

join the club, im 22 and i dont have a boyfriend. theres nothing to be asshamed of.

what you can do is straight out ask her out for lunch or study a college subject that the two of you are in. no im not talking about sex at all.

you should be afraid, there will be girls that say no, but dont let it get you down. if the right girl says yes then take it slow and really get to know one another.

Answer 2

First of all, you're not the only one in your situation. Obviously, most people who have yet to start dating by 20+ probably wish it was a different story. The reason it seems like you're the only one is b/c people aren't going to advertise this publicly. In fact, I'm sure a lot of people will lie about it just to stave off embarrassment they feel about not having started the dating scene sooner.

I am 23 and have dated, but I have some friends from high school that are in your same situation. My advice on how to get dates and approach women is: be yourself. If you just act like yourself around everyone (don't try to impress people) you'll get a sense of when the chemistry is clicking. Beautiful women get asked out all the time, so I don't think you'll come off as any more desperate than the rest of us. Don't be so self-conscious... by trying NOT to come off as a stalker you probably will act more like one b/c you are thinking about it. You may seek the companionship of a loyal girlfriend, but you can't will that into existence. All you can do is meet people, try to ask out girls that you seem to hit it off with. You might get rejected right away, you might go out a few times and realize that it's not going to work, or maybe you will find someone that you can share a long term relationship w/ for a while or forever. You can never control the cards life deals you, but if you at least start asking girls out, at least you'll be in the game.

Answer 3

DONT WORRY! :) u are not the only person who is 20 without ever having a gf.. i have plenty of friends that are 22 and never had a bf. i didnt get my first boyfriedn till i was 18.. so im just right behind u. its hard not ever having a gf/bf because u starty to this something is wrong with u.. but everything is fine! do u work somewhere? thats where i met my first bf... because it got me out of the same old people i knew my whole life.. how about joinging a club at ur school? that would help u meet people that have similar interests... how about goign to a couple of parties with some friends.. or u have a party and invite ur friends and tellthem to bring new peolpe u havnt met. it will be fun. the easiest way to meet people are through people ualready know. and as the right time to ask a girl out... just ask her for her number after u have gotten to know her a little bit.. dont go upto some random girl and say hey can i get ur number. start a conversation, make ur self sound intriquing.. and then ask her for her number. if she says no.. o well.. move on to the next girl. ooor maybe even find her on facebook or myspace... prob the easiest way to keep in contact with people.

Answer 4

Not at all! I am the same situation, 20, turning 21 in 2 months. There is nothing wrong with it. It comes down to personal choice. Regardless of what anyone says whether friends, family, peers, it's your choice. See many people have this idea that to be a man you have to have sex, it's a big macho crock. You answer to you, no one else. I am waiting until marriage myself, and it's hard, but I know it will be worth it. Upholding your values is a personal victory. In terms of medical problems, no. That is one of the many, many sex myths, and it will not cause damge to your body. If you have sex in your 30s, versus your 20s, it may take a while to get used to, but stamina wise, don't worry about it. Stick with your choice, you will look back on it and be tahnkful you had the wisdom to make it. Good luck!

Answer 5

Hey- girls LOVE attention, as long as it's not scary. Next time u get a crush, then start by saying Hi when you pass her. Sometimes ask for the time or for directions, maybe even just have a conversation, and eventually ask her to lunch. If u do it like that u wont seem desperate or stalkerish. Here's the thing that makes us mad: If he asks out TONS OF GIRLS because than it isn't flattering to be asked.

Answer 6

dont worry about it. there is nothing wrong with not having a girl. i wish i could get rid of everygirl ive dated till the one i have now. but seriosly, just chill out. go to a cafe for lunch or even subway or somthing. the first thing to do is just get used to talking to girls. one thing you can do is coment them on their apperence, or somthing they have, or what the order. like if you like their shoes, just say, "hey, love the shoes!" sheel say thanks or she'll turn you down. if she turns you down, dont worry, theres plenty more fish in the sea. but she might be glad you siad somthing to her. after comenting on the shoes, start a convo. ask her what she doese for work, ask if she's from around there. near the end of the convo, if you feel like youve made a connection just say, hey, do you think i could get your number, or could i get your email? thats pretty much all ou gotta do. you can also do this at your college too! good luck bro. i hope you find the girl of your dreams!!!

good luck!

Answer 7

do you ever go to the library or a church or grocery store and just bump into someone and take it from there. Go out some place that you know others your age hangs and open that thing that is below your nose and talk. Good Luck

Answer 8

It seems like you aren't trying to do anything to change your situation. If it bothers you so much then try to be more outgoing. Most girls will at least try to be nice and if they aren't interested they will make that clear and then you can move on. The hardest part is just putting yourself out there but you can do it.

Answer 9

I am a girl but I was 24 before I found the love of my life. Never dated anyone before him but it doesn't matter to me.

Answer 10

My advice is this: When faced with fear, dont try to avoid it, try instead to seek it. Try to get aa answer. If it is a no, you will have the satisfaction of having faced your fear. But be prepared also for a YES! It can also be fearful...