Parents and Boyfriend?

Question

Right i want people to tell me what they think is right! Mum's Dad's a Kids.

Right I’m 17 and my boyfriend is 18, with have been going out for 2year and only see each other at week ends as we live 2 hours apart train rid.

He always comes down and stays at weekends (Friday night Saturday and goes home Sunday) for 2 years this has been fine.

But now my mum and dad want him to start paying 15 pound a weekend rent for showering here, although we buy our own food and drink mostly and some weekend we are never in.

I’m not sure if this is right or wrong, and its coarsen a lot of trouble between me and my boyfriend I need some really help let me know what you think

thanks for reading Candy x

( I cant go to his place as his family dont like me that much because im from "london" and loads of stuff)

( yeah 1day we want to get married, we are saving up to moving with each other, im still at college so I don’t get money and he only earns £200 pound a week, and buys me things I need aka cloths ,, hairdressing stuff)

(When my boyfriend stays he cleans up takes the bin out and hover plus he puts up thing that need to go up aka shelf’s )

Answer 1

perhaps with out your knowledge your parents might be a little strapped with money.have they approached him about this need?You need to ask them why it is after 2 years, there is a reason to charge. water is becoming expensive here also. When your boyfriend is there does he do anything at all to help out, like taking out the garbage or something.If not he should, after all feeding another mouth can become a burden..communication only works if its being done.

Answer 2

It may not be fair but it is your parents home and if that is what they are asking, there is little to do about it except pay. I don't know how much 15 pounds is because I live in USA but I don't think it is alot. Isn't that just $15? I say, if it isn't that much, just pay it and let it go. If not, maybe you need to start getting a motel.
To be honest, I can't believe they let him come and stay all weekend for 2 years anyway. I wouldn't.
Good Luck!

Answer 3

Can he stay longer than just the weekends?

I mean, you ARE 17 and it's pretty lucky that your parents are even letting him stay over. My parents NEVER let my boyfriend stay over when I was 17 or even 18. I had to move out to be with him.

So in all fairness, I don't think it's such a big thing to ask for. If you want him to stay with you, you might as well pay 15 pounds.

Answer 4

Hi

Im the boyfriend,.

I agree! i already pay £11.55 a week to see her, thats a travelcard from aylesbury. Also i do put money into the house, i do a fair bit like cleaning and stuff. We also buy our own drink and food.

We wash up and our down stuff which her mum dont like very much

I am not being used as a cash cow, just because her parents are struggling with money doesnt mean that my £1100 a month pre tac has to go in their pocket.
In all fairness i dont even pay my own mum rent!

Answer 5

It's their house, so unfortunately they make the rules whether you agree or not. Maybe he could work off his stay though? For example, maybe he could do the dishes, take out the trash or some other chore that wouldn't take too much time away from you as a couple but would allow your parents to feel as if he is pitching in? Talk to them about it and see if there are any compromises you can make to help this situation. Good Luck!

Answer 6

Just a hunch, maybe I'm wrong.

For the past 2 years have you and him just come and gone, done what you please, treated the place like a hotel room? Have you (and especially him) offered help with washing up, tidying, hoovering, etc.etc? Sounds to me like your parents could be sick of being taken for granted and are feeling used. Maybe this is their way of letting him know that he can't just treat their house like a hotel and treat them like the cleaners.

If my hunch is right, I suggest you and your boyfriend start sharing chores. A "thank-you for having me" gift for your mum from your boyfriend would be good. You go halves with him on the £15 for a few weeks and if you're pulling your weight more, maybe your parents will relent or at least reduce the £15. It seems a lot, but it's a lot less than finding a room somewhere else.

Answer 7

I think it's a bit harsh, to be honest - they are obviously doing it for a reason. If it's because they are hard up, then they need to explain this. If it's about principles, then they are going the wrong way about it. Do they charge you money to live there?

I come from a background of 'the more the merrier' so I see this as a pathetic attempt to hang on to some control of their little girl's life. (Sorry if that sounds harsh)

I would sit down and have it out with them.

Answer 8

Personally I think that's really stingy of your parents. The guy loves you and is paying a lot to come and visit you every weekend AND he's putting up with the British rail system (and on a Sunday at that, EVERY weekend, takes a saint to continue!) to come see you... it's not like he's using £15 worth of shower?! If they're that bothered about it you two could share a shower ;) haha that'll just make them more mad?
I think you need to talk to your parents about this, maturely, that it's really unfair of them to expect him to pay that much per weekend (it's £60 a month!) just for the shower!?! And they're not even feeding him. I competely disagree with it. You and your boyfriend are right, he shouldn't have to pay.

Answer 9

If he were staying at a hotel, he'd have to pay, so why not offer to pay your parents for the use of their home?

I see nothing wrong with this, he is 18 now and should be making some money and being responsible. He should pay or else stay at a hotel.

Answer 10

Conversation required here.
15 pounds for showering and a bed doesn't seem so high for 2 nights.
Think about it, he's spending 104 nights a year at your parents for free.