When you spank a child say under 7 what determines when you stop? The sound of the child, redness of the?

Question

bottom, or after a set number of spanks?

When it comes to younger kids I think it is more difficult to get them to understand. I think a spanking should be hard enough that the child does not soon forget and rare enough that the parent does.

Answer 1

It should be after a certain number of spanks. For a child under seven, a good number would be somewhere between five and fifteen. It also depends if you are using just your hand or an implement like a spoon or a rod. A belt should not be used on children under seven. You can also go by how red the bottom is. The bottom should be slightly red. You would have to spank the bare bottom for that. Don't go by the sound the child makes, because he or she might realilze this and try to get themselves out of the spanking before the punishment is over.

Answer 2

First the why, then the how.

Children don't have the reasoning capability to understand that you do some things, don't do others. One of the posters compared spanking your child to spanking your neighbor. Well, you don't spank the neighbor because he has sufficient reasoning ability to live and work and drive a car. Your child doesn't.

More on the why- very young children don't understand that there are dangerous things in the world, like sharp knives, electric outlets and cars in the street. If the child does something that could hurt him/her, you should try to tell him that this is dangerous. And reinforcing your speech with a bit of a spank is OK.

And that takes us to the how. I don't think a child will associate pain on the bum with grabbing a sharp knife. I believe you should create an association between the act (grabbing a knife) and the part that does the grabbing. So spanking on the bum is harder for the child to understand. "I grabbed the knife and my bum got spanked" is unnecessarily difficult to comprehend.

Couple of other caveats. Never hit a child when you're angry. Speak first and love afterwards. And it doesn't take much to make your point. Spanking should be enough to cause an unpleasant sensation, not real pain. And severity isn't really necessary- your child will understand that he/she did something wrong if you just use a gentle swat.

One last thing- I had a problem using my hand. I found that one small section of the newspaper was good- made a loud noise and didn't cause any damage. The noise was usually enough.

Kids have enough trouble in life. Teaching them how to be safe and good is one thing, harming them is another. I am not a believer in the "don't spank" philosophy but certainly subscribe to the "don't injure" school. Redness is way too far. A set number is also injurious. I don't agree with the one-per-year. By the time a child is five or six, spanking won't work much anyway. You have until three or four years of age to use discipline; after that, it's too late. Use other parenting skills. "Time-out" with their nose on the wall works well. A period of time that points out they've done something wrong is good. And it doesn't need to be more than a minute or two. Try that instead of spanking.

Incidentally, I'd like to see that research about never-spanked kids having higher IQs. I remain skeptical because this sounds like one of those studies with the goal already in mind before the research begins. Given the nature of values within a population, it's no surprise that everyone isn't precisely equal. I'm sure there are differences in height, weight *and* IQ. The real question is if there is a significant difference. If the mean IQ is 100.01 and those who were not spanked is 100.010000001, is that significant? Remember, Mark Twain said, "There are lies, damned lies, and then there's statistics."

Answer 3

After reading the responses to this question I really have to question the usefulness of something like Yahoo Answers. The misinformation, lies and political correctness to your question is unreal.

The first question I would ask in return is, is it your child? If not then you should not spank that child at all.

I have found that one or two swats on the behind is enough to get my point across.

I rarely spank (usually only when they are doing something that could cause them or someone else serious harm). But I have found the before spanking it's best to try and discover why the child is behaving that way. It's truly amazing how often they tell you. Adults tend to forget that children see the world differently and they have their reasons for doing something... many times you can explain why that reasoning doesn't work and they will stop the behavior (temporarily).

If one or two swats doesn't deter the behavior then there is an underlying issue that needs to be resolved. If you can't resolve it on your own then you may need help from a preacher, school counselor, doctor etc.

The only concern I have about your question is how do you know the child's behind is red? In my opinion you should never spank a bare bottom.

Answer 4

I mostly spanked for safety issues, like when my child was doing something dangerous. Sometimes I spanked to make sure my message got heard and remembered.

When I paddled, it was 3 pops with a spanking rod (a dowel) or a spanking spoon. Sometimes it was on the bum, and other times it was the back of the thigh.

Much more often, it was the time-out rug. 1 min for every year of life, sitting on a rug in the hallway until the timer rings. Timer doesn't start until you're quiet. Starts over if you leave or talk.

TX Mom

Answer 5

This is my opinion when considering some common facts. Like adults, a child is not a mechanical object; no hard, medium, or soft switch was linked to the brain. Actually, I've known brugade adults who . . . Physics-ly, we know the results and equation that was applied to concepts like elasticity, force, and buoyancy. Naturally (but also inclusively)the big-pawed youth were considered too distracted by the thumps; for not accounting with responsibility. Simply, to say I'm sorry--but I can't promise that a different mistake (however analogous) won't happen again! Where's the local police station? Ask that guy.

Answer 6

Its really hard to tell how much you are hurting a child when you are spanking them. You can not only hurt that child physically but emotionally too. So I say dont spank, PUNISH. Take away the favorite toy for a day or something.

Answer 7

I'm going to assume you are not a prankster.

Why on earth would you spank a child until their bottom is too red or they "sound" like it hurts?

That is the wrong way to do it.

You spank (firmly, but not for pain reasons) one spank per year of age.

You should not leave redness. That would be spanking way too hard.

Answer 8

My parents used to whoop my *** every time I stepped out of line and I thank them from the bottom of my heart today!!! Moreover, a spanking only stings for a little while so I wouldn't worry too much about hurting them unless of course if it is a little girl. I grew up with 5 brothers so as far as little girls are concerned I would leave that up to the wife lol. Back to the subject at hand, light your kid up enough to where he knows he stepped out of line and then take something away...

Answer 9

None! You should never spank your child until he/she screams, has a red behind, or after a certain number. A swat(not even enough to leave a red mark) on the bottom is fine. No more.

Answer 10

You shouldn't spank a child. Otherwise, the kid will only know how to use violence to try to solve a problem. Try watching Supernanny if you have a very mischievous kid. You might learn something. Physical punishment is just cruel and they will fear you instead of respect you.