my boyfriend told me last night that if i wanted to have sex with him, i would have to initiate it. i feel really upset about this because i'm an attractive young woman with a good body, and i feel that some of my self esteem in the relationship is based on him being sexually attracted or enticed by me. i don't like feeling like the aggressor all the time, and sometimes when i do come on to him he turns me down. what do i do to entice him to sleep with me? and shaving my P$$$y or wearing sexy underwear does not work, btw. he doesn't notice.
2007-12-18 03:49:46 · 48 answers · asked by J W 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
is he gay? one way to test him if he is... is to get a guy and if he felt jelous then he's not a gay... if he's not, try to talk to him seriously.only him can answer your questions...
2007-12-18 03:52:57 · answer #1 · answered by Cheonsa 4 · 1⤊ 7⤋
You shouldn't have to entice your boyfriend to want to be with you physically. It's okay if he wants you to be the aggressor at times, but to not initiate sex at all, there's no chemistry there. To make a relationship work, I think the sex drives have to be similar, and yours is definitely more than his.
Don't let him ruin your self esteem, if he wants to be with you, he'd be physically attracted and unable to control himself at times. If he's not noticing the little things (sometimes big things) that you're doing, he's not interested. I'm sorry.
Take care, there's someone out there for everyone.
2007-12-18 04:01:12 · answer #2 · answered by Piper 1 · 2⤊ 2⤋
My husband was the same way when we met. He has since confided that when he was young he was humilated if he was turned away.
We have been married for 10 years and our sex life is quite happy...but he still waits for me to be "in the mood".
Perhaps he is afraid of being turned down.
btw...it wasn't because he wasn't a fantastic lover. He was and is. You probably don't need to be aggressive...just cuddly and get the ball rolling with light kissing.
It was sure worth the effort for me!
And for those of you who think sex is so important in a relationship...there are other things even more important.
Personally, i would rather have a man you is willing to forgo sex unless I'm ready than to feel like I'm just a physical release for him.
LOVE AND SEX ARE NOT THE SAME THING!
What will you do if for any reason down the road your spouse is unable to have sex?
How shallow.
2007-12-18 03:57:20 · answer #3 · answered by LaVere B 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Maybe he's not interested in someone who is so sure of herself "I'm an attractive young woman with a good body" in your opinion, he might not think so, he could be with you for other reasons, such as personality.
Words like aggressor, maybe he's timid, and words like that are the turn off.
Maybe he prefers a woman to look like a woman, so shaving that off reminds him of a girl instead.
2007-12-18 03:58:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he's not attracted to you by your good and appealing looks, which is what you discover, then I think it's good! Yeah, good! He isn't interested in your sex, but you. Your good mind and heart is what he likes. This may be the man of your dreams, in other words, your soul-mate! Try to see that, my gal'!
It may also be that he has some sexual problem; like, he may be gay, or impotent, or something. Try to see that, too.
Wish you all the luck, baby!
2007-12-18 03:56:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Come on now, give a brother a break! just because he doesn't wanna be the aggressor doesn't mean you're less attractive maybe he's way too shy to start it up or maybe he's too sensitive for rejection... don't be too hard on him.
And what's up with those people calling him gay and all that, that's plain stupid!
2007-12-18 03:53:46 · answer #6 · answered by The Beast from the Middle East 5 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes men don't have a big sex drive. It does not mean he does not like you.
Maybe you 2 are not meant to be together. And if you have a big sex drive then there might be problems. You have your needs and if he cant give them to you then you might have to move on. You can only deal with that for so long=)
Good luck
2007-12-18 03:57:41 · answer #7 · answered by Rae Rae 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You could be really gorgeous but a lame lay, don't be afraid to be the freak in bed that men love.
Let loose and go with the flow, maybe it turns him on when you initiate. So give it a try. Be on top, try a different position.
Either that or, move on to someone who's into boring S3X.
2007-12-18 04:00:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
Maybe he isn't like most other guys - will jump at the first chance for sex - or maybe he scared that you're going to think he's rubbish because he's had bad experiences in the past.
2007-12-18 03:55:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Is there someone else? He could have just lost his Libido or there could be a medical problem, worst case scenario is hes fallen out of love with you. Talk to hi, see a councilor together, if you love him you'll fight for him Hun. Best of Luck
-x-
2007-12-18 03:55:34 · answer #10 · answered by Debbie 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
there are planty of men in the world that will appreciate your needs, and desires in the relationship, but this moron apparently is not one of them. Kick him to the street, and throw the suitcase out the window at him like in the movies. This lazy P.O.S. does not deserve you. He probably spends his time looking at porn, or sitting in strip clubs, and expects to be turned on by you while he sits there and gets off. I cannot imagine not being turned on to my wife, even when she just walks through ther house I want her ;o)
2007-12-18 03:57:36 · answer #11 · answered by remember me? 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋