How to ignore weight comments?

Question

I am a recovering bulimic and a work college has just said to me that I look much better now I have put abit of weight on. I know it's true but I'm gutted. He says he meant it as a compliment but old feelings are rushing back. I know I will be skipping tea tonight. How can I get over this feeling?

Answer 1

Remember, your mirror lies! Seriously, what you see is NOT what the world sees. You most likely DO look a lot prettier, now that you are not vomiting all the time, and now, that you are eating. I have been anorexic, and I had to just realize that when someone says I look better, now, NOT to freak out that I must be getting fat! That's now I feel, so, I am talking from experience. Big me, I'm up to a size 1 in jeans, and still freak out, inside, when someone mentions I look better since I put on some pounds. I did. I gained 15 pounds on purpose, because I think I was going to die if I didn't. Stay on track. Don't believe your mirror. If nothing else, just check your clothing size and see how other people look in that size. I still look at the other size 1 ladies, and tell myself they are not FAT! It's hard. Be tough!

Answer 2

Hi, I wouldnt take his comment to heart at all because he actually said you look better for putting on weight, not looking worse for putting it on.
I would be flattered if someone said to me I look good when I put on weight but usually it is the other way round.

Maybe talking to someone will help you to deal with these comments, as you shouldnt be thinking of it as a person getting to you. He didnt call you fat and he didnt say you look worse now because you put on weight, He clearly said you look better because you have but on weight, this is a comment not a dig at you.

Just forget about it and have your tea tonight and enjoy it, if people are commenting on you gaining weight then imagine how people saw you as before when you proberly were stick thin. Thin is not a good look and is not an healthy look.
What he was meaning you look healthy and are glowing from within. but he is a bloke and sometimes they say things and get it wrong because the word weight was mentioned you didnt hear the good comment, if he had said. '' you look fantastic and glowing alot better than a few months ago'' would you have still be feeling the same now or better than you do now.

Answer 3

Your work colleague meant this as a compliment, stick thin women are NOT attractive.
You should be taking this comment and using it positively, instead of negatively. If you feel like you're getting back to your old ways, then see a doctor of councellor. Bullemia is a mental disorder and it does take time to get over it, both physically and mentally.
And don't, whatever you do, skip tea tonight. You're only hurting yourself.

Answer 4

It's hard when people don't know what you've been through and what you're going through now. He definately meant that you look great now. Try to ignore the add on "now you've put weight on" - people just don't know what to say, so they blurt it out.

Have you got an ongoing councillor to discuss these difficult feelings with? If not maybe your GP? Sounds like you've still got some small issues to get rid of. Good luck. AND DON'T SKIP TEA!!

Answer 5

You put too much weight on what people say. He was giving you a compliment, hopefully to support your efforts.

Unfortunately, you lack self-esteem and need to get some. Go for counseling to discuss this, ask the counselor specifically for tools to build that up.

Ask yourself this, why would a compliment "gutt" you and make old feelings come rushing back?

Answer 6

I know what you mean because you're whole objective in the past was not to gain weight and now people are openly telling you about the weight you've gained.

The only thing I can say is don't live your life worrying about things like that when you can be having fun eating out and drinking and 'enjoying' life X

Answer 7

Did you look at yourself in the mirror naked. A lot of times that will shock a person. My sister did once at 16 and her hair turned white. She's 55 now and never stopped crying. We had to wear hip waders whenever she was around. Is there a black cloud over your head? If there is, shoosh it away and you'll feel a lot better and you'll be a stronger and wiser person cause I told you the secret. Just tell that ol cloud to go away!!!!!!!!
Have a very merry christmas........

Answer 8

You have to look at it as if you act on that comment you will become ill again and it will start the ball rolling and before long you'll end up as you did before. People will always make comments but you must put yourself first and keep well should be you main objective. Surely you wouldn't allow one comment to go back to where you were before?
All the best.

Answer 9

STOP.
Take a step back.

Remember; you knew that triggers would happen.

[You KNOW that people don't understand what damage a little comment can do.]
Remember; how hard it was to get to where you are.

Think.
Do you want to start all over again?

Take a deep breath, and remember YOU are in control of this now. You know it's tricks. You don't need to blindly listen anymore.

Answer 10

im sort of recovering from bulimia too...i know it hurts when people say youve put on weight and you look great [though no one does to me] caus then you think that your getting fat again and losing all youve achieved, even though you know youve put on weight , yeh?

im probably not making sense but maybe since you know the messed up-ness of eating disordered life you maybe get me?

well first of all think about at least know you know you wont die mid-purge from throwing up too much or something...although i know when your bulimic you dont care hardly at all about the damage...only about how thin you will become!

if your around people that dont have eating disorders then you will feel its more normal to eat......like even though i hate being around people when theyre eatin.....that always used to annoy me so much bein round people eating made me feel like it was normal to eat and i was a freak for not eating i hated it caus i didnt want to eat caus then id get fat!

and basically if you read things against bulimia/annorexia maybe and things about how curves are sexy then thatll help!

sorry for the blabbering i hope my crappy advice is of some use!


good luck!

much love!

<3
xx