Okay, so long story short..My mother and my boyfriend got into a disagreement. I don't agree with either side, I think they are both wrong, and have told them so. My mom refuses to apologize to my boyfriend, and vice versa. My boyfriend said that he is upset with my mom, and refuses to go to any family event that my mother is going to be at. Also, my mother told me that she does not want me to spend Christmas with my boyfriend and his family. She wants me to spend Christmas Eve with my immediate family, and then Christmas Day spend the entire day(11am-5pm) with her extended family and my grandparents. I told her that I agreed to spend xmas eve and xmas day with them but I was not staying the entire day since my boyfriends family has asked me to come to their house on Xmas Day too. I have bought gifts for my boyfriends family including his 2 yr old nephew who I am extremely close with. They have also bought gifts for me. I feel bad not showing up for their ONE christmas celebration when
2007-12-18 03:39:12 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
my family is having 3 different Christmas gatherings. On Thanksgiving we put his family on the back burner and arrived at Thanksgiving around 4pm after much of his family had left. We went to both of my family thanksgivings before attending his. I want to be fair, but this has me so angry that I am ready to boycott Christmas and not spend it with either. I think that my mother is being unfair (especially since my 16 yr old sister gets to leave our xmas day celebration early to go to her boyfriends family house and they have been together for 5 months!) My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years, and I am extremely close with his family. I dont know what to do, I am just so confused....any advice??
2007-12-18 03:42:32 · update #1
Yes I am an adult. I just really don't want to upset anyone especially since it is the holidays.
2007-12-18 03:52:28 · update #2
We are Christians, and we share the same beliefs. I know what the Christmas season is about. I dont think that it matters that we are NOT married. We have been together for 2 years. And like I said, I am EXTREMELY close to his family.
2007-12-18 03:55:57 · update #3
first off~ im sorta going thru the same thing. however DO NOT make him go to your mothers or hassle him about it. I hate when thats done to me.
second of all, your obviously an adult/over 18???
Spend part of the holiday wit your family and the other part with him and his~ enjoy the holidays
2007-12-18 03:44:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Isn't it funny how the one holiday that's supposed to be about family brings out the worst in some people? What I would do in your situation is spend a quiet Christmas eve with the boyfriend and split Christmas day between both families. No matter what you do someone is going to be hurt, angry or disappointed so just try to be as fair as possible. Merry Christmas to you and yours.
2007-12-18 04:43:25 · answer #2 · answered by Coop's Wife 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't even married!
Once you are married you need to think this way... the way of sharing holidays and taking your husbands side no matter what. Since you are not married you still have an obligation to your family and your "bf" needs to step back, unless he plans on stepping up to the plate?
BTW, Christmas is not a place you go......Christmas is a celebration of John 3:16. that is every where.
Another idea is to make God center of you and your "bf" life or your relationship will not last!
good luck with that!
Hopefully in all the hustle and bustle you will get a lone time to reflect on the real reason for the season!
2007-12-18 03:47:54 · answer #3 · answered by Numb 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Oh don't get pulled into this, you cannot win. Do not change your plans, if your Christian b/f and Christian mother can't turn the other cheek and treat each other like they would like to be treated, you can't fix them. Go where you want to, let them make their own choices. Your mother doesn't have the ability to control your life unless you let her and your b/f needs to realize that your family is part of your life and he must get along with your mother. They are both acting like children, don't get sucked into this.
2007-12-18 04:09:50 · answer #4 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry that you are trapped in the middle. It is an uncomfortable place to be. I think that you have done what you can do. You have told them that both of them were wrong and you haven't chosen sides. One of them needs to be the adult and either admit they were wrong or agree to disagree. The one thing they have in common is their love for you and their bickering is hurting you, that should be enough motivation for one of them to try to work it out.
It may be just too soon. I wouldn't try to force my boyfriend to come because that is just a fight waiting to happen. Compromise with your Mom and try to divide your time between the two as best as you can.
Good Luck!
2007-12-18 03:48:44 · answer #5 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go to your family on Christmas eve and his family Christmas Day. Tell your mother that that is how it is going to be this year. Don't let her guilt you into anything you don't want to do.
2007-12-18 04:02:15 · answer #6 · answered by AGC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What about your feelings? Let the pushy, bossy ones know that you are in charge of what you do and that you don't care about any guilt trip B.S !
Go to your boyfriends families place first. They deserve it. Put your mom in her place and tell her what's what. DO NOT back down!!!!!!!!
2007-12-18 04:01:10 · answer #7 · answered by homeslice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋