We are paying for our wedding ourselves. However, fiance's mom has given us $1,000. to help. My mom has paid for my dress & the ceremony site. She will be paying for a limo for the bridal party & is contributing $500. for the honeymoon.
I know you are supposed to list the parents if they sponser the wedding. Although they have contributed some, total cost will be near $10,000 and we are paying the bulk ourselves.
So, since our parents did help, should their names be on the invitations?
2007-12-18 03:16:45 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
fizzygurrl ~ We are well aware that our parents are not coporations. "sponsor" is the word used by a lot of the wedding resources we have looked at.
2007-12-18 03:27:12 · update #1
Of course we want to honor our parents, but we are in our 30's, have been together for a looong time & are doing all of the research, planning, etc. ourselves.
I have heard of people leaving their parents names off the ivitations & wasn't sure of the proper etiquette. I never planned a wedding before, so that is why I am checking here ;)
2007-12-18 03:31:49 · update #2
monicanena ~ why all the hostility????? It's just a question. Again, wedding resources talk about who "sponsored" the wedding & I wasn't clear on it.
2007-12-18 03:37:18 · update #3
ktswim ~ thank you! After all of the backlash we are definately including our parents on the invites, but I am glad at least one person sees where I am coming from. Yes, we are blending our families, and we love & honor our parents ~ but there has to be an age where it is weird for you parents to be listed. What if we were in our 40's? 50's?
2007-12-18 06:07:50 · update #4
We are chippping in, my parents are chipping in, and his parents are chipping in, so we are putting "Allison and Mark, together with their parents."
2007-12-18 03:23:46 · answer #1 · answered by Allison L 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear, you have your wedding invitation confused with community theater programs. In theater programs, the amount of print space a donor is given is directly proportionatal to the their level of support. Donate $10,000 and get half a page. Donate $250 and get in long list of 8 pt font names.
The central idea of a wedding invitation is to let your guests know what is going on and that they are invited. Who paid for what is of no concern to polite people. However, there is nothing wrong with including a few parents or other sponsors in the invitation, and here are a few examples of how it is done.
Mr & Mrs Roger Rockett
Mr & Mrs James Jett
request the honor of your presence at the marriage of
Miss Regina Rockett, etc etc etc
or
Amanda Rocket and
Zelda Jett
request the honor etc etc etc
(You can put Ms before the names. You can put both names on one line. You can style the ladies as Mrs Roger Rockett and Mrs James Jet if you wish.)
or
Amanda Rockett, Zelda Jett, and David Galaxy
request the honor etc etc etc
If people aren't sure who David is, they will find out in the receiving line.
Another approach, if you only want to include parents is:
The honor of your presence is requested
at the marriage of
Miss Regina Rockett
daughter of Roger Rocket and Amanda Asteroid
to Mr Justin Jett etc etc etc
It is always a great courtesy to include your parents names on the invitations, especially to family who may have trouble placing just who you are until they get to the "Oh that's right, Roget has a daughter named Regina" part. It especially warms the heart of a parent to named as a host, even if he or she isn't paying the bills. There is nothing incorrect about the host(s) of a party not being the same people as the sponsor(s) of the party.
2007-12-18 03:38:29 · answer #2 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your mom has given quite a bit toward your wedding, and his mother has contributed as well. Even though they are not paying for everything, or even the majority, they are giving enough to be considered co-hosts. It is correct ettiquette to list them as hosts on the invitation.
Many people who pay for absolutely everything themselves still list their parents. It is a nice gesture, and "hosting" the wedding doesn't have to mean financial contributions. When you see parents listed on a wedding invitation, it is because the couple wanted to honor their parents in this way. It is not because the parents paid to be on the invitation.
You might want to consider something like "Together with their parents, Bride & Groom invite you..." at the very least.
2007-12-18 03:55:18 · answer #3 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either way is appropriate. If you want to honor your parents, put their names on the wedding invitation. If you would prefer to leave them off, then leave them off. I don't think there is really a right or wrong way when you are paying for the majority of the wedding. If it were me, I would put their names on the invitation just because I'm old fashioned and that's the way it's done in the circle I grew up in.
2007-12-18 04:54:00 · answer #4 · answered by mynxr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Our parents didn't give us a nickel towards the wedding (which was fine by us) but we still listed them on the invitation. It read:
Sarah Jane Smith and John Jones
together with their parents
request the honor.....etc
I view it as a sign of respect more than anything. They might not have given money, but they did support us all of our lives, which in my case included paying for most of my college.
2007-12-18 03:36:51 · answer #5 · answered by sarah jane 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want their names on the invites, go ahead. I think it might be weird if you are grown adults living on your own. Listing the parents seems to me like a thing for those barely out of high school.
This is how we did ours:
Because you have shared in their lives
through your friendship and love
you are invited to celebrate
at the marriage of
X
and
Y
on Friday, Febuary Twenty-ninth
two thousand and eight
at five o'clock in the afternoon
Then the address.
Good luck!
2007-12-18 05:22:17 · answer #6 · answered by ktswim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents' names are supposed to be on the invitation because they gave birth to you, not because they're "sponsoring" the event. They're your parents, not a corporation. Since I am assuming that you'll be inviting some family friends or older relatives who are more familiar with your parents than with you, I would suggest putting the parents' names on the invitations.
2007-12-18 03:21:50 · answer #7 · answered by fizzygurrl1980 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's up to you to make the decision. Most people list their parents' names to honor them. This is, after all, an event for the family. Not just the two of you. You're not the only ones getting married - rather, marriage is the coming together of two familes. When we got married, I told my husband that he's marrying my entire family and if he didn't like the idea, he shouldn't marry me.
2007-12-18 04:44:26 · answer #8 · answered by curious gal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really up to you and not such a matter of who paid for what. If you want to honor your parents, list them on the invitaton. If you prefer only to have you and your husband's name listed, leave it as that. The people you are inviting really won't care either way...
2007-12-18 03:25:27 · answer #9 · answered by mJc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's up to you. Both sets of parents contributed to our wedding (the cost to us was minimal) but declined to be on the invitation since it was "our" day. I think that's kind of an old-fashioned custom and I would go with whatever makes you happy.
2007-12-18 03:20:37 · answer #10 · answered by leaptad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An invitation should always say who the host is. And the parents have contributed significantly to your wedding, so in essence I think they are hosts, too. I would definitely recognize them on the invitation. Something like:
With their parents
Jack and Jill
invite you to...
2007-12-18 03:41:48 · answer #11 · answered by fizzy stuff 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋