I'm a Lutheran, and if I was to go out with a Mormon, would that be okay? Would the church get mad at him or anything like that? If we got married, could my parents go to the wedding?
2007-12-18 02:47:54 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
No one would be mad at you. And your parents could go to your wedding. In an LDS temple wedding, only temple recommend holders can attend. Those are only for members who are found worthy by their bishop and stake president and who are usually over the age of 19. Since you are not a member, you wouldn't be getting married in the temple.
EDIT: oh for pete's sake we DON'T practice polygamy. Has anyone who claims Mormons practice polygamy actually met a polygamy practicing Mormon? Does Mitt Romney have more than one wife? What about Richard Eyre?
2007-12-18 02:55:12 · answer #1 · answered by gumby 7 · 12⤊ 2⤋
I have a brother, who is now on a mission for the LDS church who was dating a Lutheran. She and he were in the same boat as you. My parents were very supportive and trusted my brother and girlfriend in their decision to date, as did the rest of us (his family) and other friends and leaders that were members of the church. They dated for a time, but because of some differences and his eventual leaving on a mission, they decided to break up.
I am preparing for Marriage and Family Therapy right now and have come to realize that the more unified a marriage is, the better. If religion is a big part of both your lives then this may present a problem. If both of you aren't very active in your religion or beliefs, then it probably won't be a big deal. However, I think there is a question here that goes a little deeper that would need to be addressed to help you with this original question:
Why are you Lutheran? Do you belong to this church because your family is Lutheran and that's what you have been raised with and feel OK with? Or have you searched the teachings of your church deeply and discovered WHY you have chosen to be a part of this church? Likewise, does the person you are thinking of dating know why they are Mormon? Are they Mormon because they were born into it, or are there deeper meanings to their devotion to their religion.
I think it would be a good idea for the two of you to talk about these things, talk about the doctrines, the similarities, the differences, and why you believe what you believe. If religion is an important part of both of your lives, then talking about these things would be something that would really help in deciding whether or not to date this guy.
Just as most people have already commented, who know the Mormon church, the church would not get mad at him; and if you were to get married to him as a Lutheran, then your parents could go to the wedding. However, if you were to convert over and get married in the temple with him for time and all eternity, then they would not be able to go. I have many close friends who have converted and gotten sealed in the temple with their spouse and their parents were not able to go. Almost always, they and their parents have been fine with it because they knew WHY they were getting married in the temple and were able to explain it to their parents in a way that there parents understood why they couldn't be there and were fine with it. So if that is an option being considered, then know that it will turn out all right.
2007-12-18 16:21:11 · answer #2 · answered by Jonathan H 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Dating: Sure, no problem.
Marriage: Assuming you did not convert, then yes, no problem. If you did convert and your parents didn't, then no. Reason? Most likely if you converted you would both want a temple marriage. The temple is only open to worthy members who have a recommend. Without going into a lot of detail, we feel that those who enter the temple need to have the spiritual maturity to accept what goes on there, and keep the covenants made there. It's really just an additional form of worship. Even those who get married in the temple, often have a ring ceremony afterwards where everyone can attend, or a civil ceremony before where everyone can attend.
Merry Christmas
2007-12-21 16:43:15 · answer #3 · answered by Tonya in TX - Duck 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is ok for anyone of any faith to date a Mormon withing the Mormon church. And as far as marriage goes, it is up to the two involved. You should know that Mormons believe in a doctrine called "eternal marriage" where the couple's marriage vows extend beyond this life to the world to come. In order to be married for "time and all eternity" These marriages, "eternal marriages" can only take place within a Mormon temple and to get into a Mormon temple, you all need to be members in good standing.
So if an eternal marriage is what you both want, then both of you would need to become members in good standing. if not, then you can get a "civil" marriage.
2007-12-19 13:36:02 · answer #4 · answered by Kerry 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Mormons can date and marry anyone that they choose.
However, Mormons believe that the only way to be with your spouse forever is to get married in the Temple. Only Mormons who are worthy and obeying certain commandments can enter. If you wanted to marry her in the temple, you'd have to be a Mormon too. Other Mormons could attend your wedding there.
2007-12-18 16:15:32 · answer #5 · answered by Ender 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes, that would be fine. No the Church would not get upset. And yes your parents could go, since you are not Mormon, it will not be a Temple wedding, it will be a civil wedding, so anyone can go.
2007-12-18 15:42:32 · answer #6 · answered by notoriousnicholas 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (aka Mormon Church) generally guides its members to avoid dating someone who wouldn't be able to be married in a temple for time and all eternity. The eternal family unit is of prime importance in the Church.
If you really like the guy, I recommend doing some research on his beliefs. If he doesn't follow his beliefs, drop him, and if he does, he won't marry someone of another faith.
2007-12-18 11:27:45 · answer #7 · answered by Bryan Kingsford 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Certainly you can date a Mormon boy. If he is faithful to his baptismal covenants, to obey Christ, having taken upon him the Lord's name and become part of His family, then he will want his wife to be a member of his church and be faithfully active in the church. His parent won't mind as long as you are a good lady, faithful to your husband and desirous of learning about and joining the church.
There are many issues involved with your question. First, active Mormons want to be married in the temples where the marriage ceremony is sealed for all eternity, not just for mortality. If you join the church and you have a temple wedding, then your parents would not be allowed to enter the temple and attend the wedding because the temple is reserved for the active members to perform the sacred sealing work for our ancestors. However, mixed marriages happen quite a bit and the reception is open to everybody. If the wedding takes place in the local church instead of the temple, then it will be for time only and will be open to everybody. That is okay as well and the two of you could go to the temple a year later to be sealed if that is your desire.
I certainly would not tell you not date your Mormon friend because my Dad married a nonMormon and baptized her later. They went to the temple about three years after they were married in a protestant wedding. My Mother-in-law married a nonMormon and they went to the temple to be sealed about a year later. Two of my sons have married outside of the church and I am hopeful that they will someday return to activity in the church and take their wives to the temple to be sealed for all eternity.
So, to conclude, it is okay to date him and okay to marry him. If he is active, he will want you to learn about the church. He will hope for a temple wedding. Your parents can attend the wedding if it is not in the temple. If it is in the temple, they will be excluded from the temple but not from the reception. Of course, the other solution is for your whole family to learn about the church and then, if you feel right about it, to join.
There is no forcing of opinions in the church. You have the right to choose to accept or reject as you will. However, before you can make that choice, you have to learn about what you are choosing.
I do hope you will take the time and show the interest to learn about what your friend believes. I promise you that you will not regret making that effort.
2007-12-18 11:07:28 · answer #8 · answered by rac 7 · 8⤊ 2⤋
You can date him/her. Why would'nt that be okay? No, the LDS church would not get mad at him/her and yes, your parents can attend the wedding- it would not be in the LDS temple ( unless you converted and took your vows-then your parents would not be able to attend). Mormons are just regular people like you and me.
2007-12-18 11:05:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 9⤊ 0⤋
Your best bet is to ask him. He may only date LDS girls. We don't get in trouble for marrying outside our faith. Temple marriage is not possible unless you are both LDS- so yes your parents would be able to come.
I think that interfaith marriages are a bad idea. It really is hard on the marriage and the children. You really should think of all the things that will be involved. Love is essential but is not enough. You need to have the same beliefs system and values.
2007-12-18 12:17:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋