Last night was our 3 year anniversary. We have been dating for 3 years and been engaged for 6 months. This past Valentines Day, I did the typical, "Oh no you don't have to get me anything" not knowing that he would take it literally. I got him a card and something, he got me nothing. So yeah my feelings were hurt. Then last night we went to dinner, but I guess I got my hopes up too much when I thought I might get a card or some flowers. I got him a really nice card and I was hurt because he was whining saying he didn't have time. I am just as busy as he is. Basically what I want to know is...is it wrong of me to still want those little things that mean the most?? A nice card, flowers, a romantic dinner, little things that say I love you. I miss those things and w/ in the past year since we've gotten engaged I don't think he feels he needs to do that anymore. Yet I tell him it hurts cause he doesn't do those things anymore and he says well it doesn't mean I don't love you any less.
2007-12-18 01:10:21 · 11 answers · asked by Teeny 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, it isn't wrong. It was your fault on Valentine's Day, but no way should a guy(or gal) forget the anniversary gift, even if it is a card. He used the I don't have time excuse, but it just doesn't cut it. Let him know that you love him lots, but still need the romance. That is what keeps a relationship going. I learned the hard way! I NEVER say I don't want something, even if it is a small something, it lets me know he was thinking about me. Does he get you little stuff here and there, or have you two limited your gift giving to anniversary's, holidays? It sucks to have to let him know, but sometimes they need a gentle reminder!!! I hope he doesn't forget you at Christmas!! Good luck!!
2007-12-18 01:20:44 · answer #1 · answered by forestbythesea 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well one thing about relationships is that they change and grow with time, No it's not wrong of you to still want to do those little things. You are right it's the little things that mean the most.
But In this case i wouldn't be so hard on him either he's saying just cause i don't do the little things doesn't mean i love you any less
So he's still saying i Love you .
Sounds like you've got yourself a good guy
But one thing you need to realize is guys just aren't that sentimental.
That's something that took me a long time to get i don't know if used to is the right phrase. So i'll just say Adjust to because I am a very sentimental person. I am a very loving and affectionate person.
I like to say i love you a lot and all that but that's just not the way he is and i'll tell you this much i took it personally for a while but somewhere along the line i realized wait a second just cause he doesn't do all that sentimental stuff doesn't mean he doesn't love me anymore just means he shows it differently
Sometimes If you were raised 2 different ways that will have an affect on how he shows how he loves you too.
But i'll tell you this much from experience i would rather have someone Show Me They love me than say it all the time
Cause one thing i learned the hard way a few times is that those words are easy to say but not as easy to prove
My Guy Doesn't say I love you Much but He Proves it with the Things He Does. He Shows it to me.
Which is more important in the long run
Think about it this way would you rather have someone that says i love you all the time and doesn't prove it or someone that doesn't say it as much and Proves it
Actions Speak Louder than Words Girl
2007-12-18 09:28:21 · answer #2 · answered by rebel_angel031 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are exactly right. You should be upset. It is the little things that keep you together and if he is to busy with his schedule to stop for one minute and get you a card he is an ***hole. It will continue to get worse unless you let him know now. Girls need things like that. Let him know in a funny way. Give him a BJ and then say instead of cards I will give you these on special occasions but I want a damn card!!!!!
2007-12-18 09:17:54 · answer #3 · answered by lash 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Guys are direct. We talk directly. If you tell him that he doesn't have to get you anything - why are you now getting upset that he has done exactly what you asked?
Next year tell him - I got hurt last time because I told you that you didn't need to get me anything, but I had really hoped you would ... because it would mean to me that you love me enough to know better than to do what I ask. I've got a card for you this year ...
2007-12-18 09:14:19 · answer #4 · answered by Orinoco 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO WAY ITS WRONG!!! You deserve those things. I MEan COME ON its a golden rule>> You gotta get your women something on the ole' aniversary. This guy sounds like he doesnt care really. I mean aniversary's are important , those dayz simbolize your realationship. And also are a good time to reflect on what you guys have been through and stuff. MY answer> YOU SHOULD get showered with sh;t cards gifts . The whole nine yards. otherwise there is a problem..
2007-12-18 09:18:01 · answer #5 · answered by Antwan DUBBA U 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's wrong to do those things for him just because you expect them in return knowing that if he didn't do anything you're going to make him feel guilty. That's going to make him feel like no matter what he does that you're not going to be happy with it.
And NEVER tell him you want NOTHING when you know good and well that your feelings will be hurt if you get nothing. I'm sure he thought that you said "nothing" because you weren't able to get him anything and him getting you something when he got nothing in return would make you feel guilty so he didn't get you anything....HOWEVER...you knew all along that you were going to get him something.
It's NOT wrong to want the little things....but it is wrong to EXPECT them.
2007-12-18 09:18:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you tell a man you dont have to get you anything they take that literally, in the back of your mind you were expecting something which im sorry but men need to hear things directly
that would work on another woman but on men it doesnt, when you say dont get me anything he hears dont get me anything, where as your almost playing mind games with him
Dont play that with them, say what you mean be upfront and direct(not aggresively) but do so more in hints***
expectations always lead to dissapointments......so try not to expect anything, hard as it may be
2007-12-18 09:42:07 · answer #7 · answered by mmm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, you were wrong for telling him that he didn't have to give you anything. yes he does! you two are engaged to be married. he shouldn't even feel right without giving you a nice gift for you all's anniversary. if he's getting this comfortable while you all are just engaged... imagine being married to this guy. tell him how you feel and see if he's willing to make some changes.
2007-12-18 09:33:14 · answer #8 · answered by Love to Answer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really doesn't mean he loves you any less. You are right that it is still nice to get little things every now and then. Don't force him because then you won't know if he is just getting stuff to keep you quiet about it or if he really wants to. Just stop getting things for him.
2007-12-18 09:15:44 · answer #9 · answered by warrior 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i can see the way you feel and i agree.
but as long as he still loves you, thats all that counts.
2007-12-18 09:14:34 · answer #10 · answered by Jerry S 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋