i dont know what to do cuz my bf is mad at me cuz he asked me last night to "move in with him"
and.. well .im 16 (almost 17) and hes 18.
like. itold him the truth, that i would move in with him if i was older. and out of school. and he got all mad at me sayin ihurt him n stuff like.
i told him its not like i didnt WANT to move in with him cuz yaass that would be awesome but i just cant, at this age.
now he wil barely talk to me.
and don't say "leave him" cuz we've been together for over 2 years - this is our 3rd xmas together.
i just.. need a way to talk to him that wil make him understand..
2007-12-18 01:07:00 · 13 answers · asked by krimson.suicide 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is just frustrated that you've told him no.
However, I think you've made the right choice.
If both of you were older ... if he (or you) had a job ... if you guys were ready for life as an adult then perhaps you could consider doing this sort of thing.
However, he seems to think he can make it work.
How about you ask him - how does he think he can make it work?
Where will you get money for rent ... for food ... for electricity and all the rest?
What will happen to your educations? Will you or he quit school?
What about your parents and his parents. Would they approve? Would they understand?
I'm sure you have told him no because you can understand what sort of a cagey proposition he's made. He just can't seem to understand it. Make him sell it to you - see if he DOES understand it!
2007-12-18 01:09:43 · answer #1 · answered by Orinoco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you can't move in with him for legal reasons. Until you hit 18 you're parents are your legal guardians. Forget about even if you wanted to move in with him - do you honest to god think your parents would allow this??!? Of course not. They love you and need you around to check up on you and make sure you are healthy, doing well in school and in life -> generally they are STILL raising you. But even if they would allow you to move out if you wished they would not legally be allowed to do that. What if something happened to you? They would have to take responsibility, not only in their hearts - but they would be called irresponsible parents (like the Mcanns) for letting you move out in the first place with "a guy they didnt know much about" and face the full wrath of the law. Would you wish all this pressure on your parents? Of course not.
Your boyfriend does not have the right to feel mad, you should not feel upset. Unfortunately the plain and simple truth which you can present to him is that - until you hit 18 you are considered a minor. As a minor would have to live with your parents as they are your legal guardians. Even if they allowed you to move out they would be responsible for anything (bad) that happens to you. Therefore you do not wish all this pressure upon your parents should something bad happen to you. If he can't understand that your parents play a major role in your life and understand what is important to you I'm sorry but you should leave him. You won't want to because he is your first love (and a teenage love) so it is strong, but it isn't true love if he cannot understand this. It is unlikely he will refuse your reasoning, I am just saying you will know his true intentions if he does (he only wants you for what you do to him: sex, make him feel better etc. however he doesnt care about what you want)
2007-12-18 01:33:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is just upset. you just need to talk to him wether he says anything or not. just tell him how much you care about him and tell him you guys and start planning on moving out next year around this time. remind him you are still young and cant leave your home yet. but also keep telling him you do care about him and that you would love to move in with him right now... better yet tell him to get a place to himself and just stay on the weekends... that may work!
2007-12-18 01:18:25 · answer #3 · answered by Ash_Shell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him how you feel and try to work out thing the best was you can give him some time he will come around if he really love you then he will wait till the time is right for you to move in
2007-12-18 01:23:49 · answer #4 · answered by ^^drowninlove^^ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah your right you dont need to worry about bills and rent. perhaps he's having a hard time making ends meet, and wants a 2nd income, but your young,you probably still need to graduate H.S., so do that. mabye when your done you can get a place with him, if i was your folks i would be pretty dissapointed if you put what he wants ahead of your own needs. get him something special for x-mass something for his apt. and tell him its really yours for when you do move in.then he'll know you do intend to.
2007-12-18 01:17:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave him alone for a while - you made a reasonable decision, if he cannot accept that (sorry to say so), separating might be best. don't let him urge you into something you feel wrong.
perhaps he will see it after a while, when he's come down again.
good luck!
2007-12-18 01:16:59 · answer #6 · answered by Nova 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
remind him that it isn't LEGAL for you to move in with him but if it was that you would be out of your parents house and into his in the blink of an eye. That should make him feel better.
2007-12-18 01:13:36 · answer #7 · answered by iLOVEJESUS 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
interesting problem, hmmmmm............. well maybe cuz sumtimes the truth hurts 2 much :) but honestly maybe u shud tell him jus tht ur not ready yet :) n u needa lil bit of time, im sure if he luvs u he will understand :D :)
2007-12-18 01:18:03 · answer #8 · answered by jump 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him time..maybe till this xmas...u know what??u've made a good choice...explain to him AGAIN that u're too young to move in with him...maybe for next 2 or three years untill u're ready.....
2007-12-18 01:12:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He'll get over himself, he might be in a little state of shock to your "no" so it would be great if you do love gestures to help him realize you still love him.
2007-12-18 01:13:35 · answer #10 · answered by Sarah 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋