My mother-in-law recently made a very selfish decision that put my wife (her daughter) through a lot of emotional pain. As a result, she (my wife) has tried to keep contact with her to a minimum for a while, and being cordial to her, at best. However, my MIL believes that everything is OK and that my wife is over the situation, when she really isn't.
Since we won't be seeing her for Christmas this year (a side effect of the selfish decision), she mailed us her gift (a check) in a Christmas card. My wife does not want to accept the gift believing that doing so will be misinterpreted as an indication that things are OK between them, and I agree. How can we politely refuse the gift and send the check back?
2007-12-18 01:06:18 · 4 answers · asked by SnoBot 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
There's no way you can send the check back without provoking a confrontation with your MIL. And if there's going to be a confrontation, what happens with the check is of little consequence.
If you simply fail to cash the check, your MIL should figure something out when she goes to reconcile her checking account...if not this statement, then the next or the one after that. That will leave the ball in your MIL's court, which is where it probably should be.
And if she asks before your wife is ready to speak to her about it, simply tell your MIL that your wife felt uncomfortable with cashing the check...which would be a true statement.
2007-12-18 05:32:52 · answer #1 · answered by El Jefe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd avoid totally burning bridges with your MIL.. it's possible that things can be repaird in the future.
But, I understand the not wanting to accept the gift.. I'd take the check, and make a donation in that amouth to a charity in your MIL's name with a card that will go to the MIL from the charity, thanking your MIL for her kind donation.
2007-12-18 09:40:59 · answer #2 · answered by Foggy Idea 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well.......if that were me I would never cash the check. That way you need not to return it, but let her know at the same time that you did not need her money for anything!
Good Luck!
2007-12-18 09:12:13 · answer #3 · answered by Dee 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sending back will complicate more. wait for an opportunity and return..such any function, or birth day etc.,
2007-12-18 09:12:06 · answer #4 · answered by Tamil from Vellore 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋