My kids are grown and gone. They've been a true disappointment to me - barely finsihing high school or GED, getting pregnant and married very young, and living like trash. How do I put my feelings aside, especially during the holiday season?
2007-12-18 00:04:13 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You brought them up...now you have to live with it..
2007-12-18 00:06:43 · answer #1 · answered by Chrys 7 · 3⤊ 3⤋
Your grown children are not a disappointment. They are raw potential. Being a parent doesn't end when your children are adults. Life is a learning experience. So they barely finished high school. Are they ready to try again? Did you ask if they wanted to try Junior college? Are you offering help? Are they living like trash for financial reasons, or is there something that you can still teach them to make thier living arrangements better?(Organization, cleaning, etc..)
2016-05-24 21:25:02 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh dearie me,
Look on the brightside, you are a funky not-so-old grandpa.
Humm, when my little brother was born, I wanted to teach him all the good stuff of the Earth, like Please, Thank You, May I, Could I, and respecting others.
But the influence of television got into his head. He is a mean, spoilt, bratty 7 year old who still drinks from the bottle and expects everyone to GIVE him in any condition for the telly and computer.
What a huge pain in the as* I must say.
But you can't hold onto a child forever. You can only teach them a certain amount, and the rest they have to explore by themselves
I learnt from my mother and she says "If I could, I'll dump you on your own 2 feet at this moment".
She is 50 years old and can't wait for all the kids to get out of the house.
Snuggle up with your wife to a mountain escape or head to the tropics for Christmas if you wish. At least you can 'retire' early. =)
2007-12-18 00:14:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Firstly, there is only so much that parents can do to raise their kids. After that, the "kids" grow up and have to figure it out on their own, so I only hope you aren't blaming yourself if you've done everything you could to give them a great life.
Secondly, you should never have to put your feelings aside, even when it comes to your children. My parents always let me know exactly how they feel, and even if it hurts my feelings and makes me feel like crap, I know they still love me and support me. Your kids will always be your kids come hell or high water, so they should be understanding of your feelings the way you have been understanding about theirs considering you raised them. At any rate, despite it being the holidays, you should never have to hold back on your happiness. If they're grown, they should learn how to deal with it. You deserve a happy holiday season, too.
Good luck and Happy Holidays.
2007-12-18 00:09:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
For one, try to figure out why. I come from a large family, and those siblings that didn't do so well - we can almost pinpoint why and at what point in their development this occurred... (not enough attention, allowed to hang w/the wrong crowd, etc) there is a serious disconnect, and you're a part of it. Speaking to them candidly but with pure love and concern should help ALL of you during these times.
Good Luck and enjoy the holidays!
2007-12-18 00:10:17 · answer #5 · answered by Sarah Gee 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
As I said before - Wow. You raised them with those values, so you must be a real disappointment to yourself! I think you should explore those feelings and address the issues that caused you to do such a poor job raising your children, then apologise to them and work out a way to move forwards as a family so that their children turn out better.
Wishing you a happy holiday season.
2007-12-18 01:34:05 · answer #6 · answered by Skidoo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do u love them? that's all that matters. they are still young even if they have kids u could encourage them to go to school and better themselves. it's never to late. what kind of example were u to them. i see ur name is semperfi, that's the marine corps motto right? were u in the service. gone a lot? if that's the case u were busy and didn't play a big hand in raising them so it's not so much your fault they didn't turn out like u hoped. they are individuals and they choose what life they live. not everyone is cut out for college.
2007-12-18 00:08:54 · answer #7 · answered by cajunbaby 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear that.
Do what you would do for a fellow devil dog in need, they may not show the same discipline as one, but I am sure it would mean a lot to your wife.
Have a family holiday and try not to focus on their low points.
Sempr Fi, remember what it means.
2007-12-18 00:20:49 · answer #8 · answered by JD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure the feeling is mutual.
Here's how you put your feelings aside. Call them up and tell them you weren't really disappointed in THEM, you were disappointed in yourself, that you never met up to YOUR parents' expectations, so you wound up taking it out on them.
2007-12-18 00:14:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
And you didn't do anything wrong. You were the prefect parent. You taught them about not having sex and getting married at a young age. You kept track of where they where as teens, you made sure they put their education ahead of everything else. And these evil children decided, no I think I'm going to mess up my life just to make mommy sad.
2007-12-18 00:07:47 · answer #10 · answered by Nick 5 · 6⤊ 2⤋
What part did you have to play with all of these negatives feeling toward your children? How did you bring them up? Did you discipline or communicate much with them?
2007-12-18 00:07:53 · answer #11 · answered by Kasey 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋