do you think if you can afford to its better to stay at home with your child from birth till they start school

Question

just wondered what others thought as i stayed at home with my daughter untill she went to school as if i had returned to work i would have being working to pay child care! as we wouldnt get help with costs as my partner earns too much (things were still tight without me working though) - but i'm sooo glad i stayed at home she is very advanced for her age loving and caring! - i had a few people comment at me saying children are better off in nurserys - but i cant understand that comment at all - example of this is my friends child has gone to nursery since he was 3mnths old! he is a month older than my daughter - he still wears nappies and his speach is poor! - i dont see the point in people having children just to shove them in a nursey all day every day! i do understand that some people dont have the choice - and sorry if i've gone on just wondered wht others think

just wanted to add people told me children should be in nurserys to learn to play with other children but i went to all the mums groups and play groups so she still got all that

WHO ME - just wanted to say chill out i was only asking what people thought and the way you wrote it is as if you have a bit of a bee in ya bonnet!
i'd also like to add - i personally think its better to be at home if you can and would like to say i have done both worked and stayed at home and i can honestly say that staying at home is much much harder than going out to wrk! - am not knocking people who work at all i plan with my second to stay at work for a few hours a week 1 for extra cash 2. for the rest!!!!!!!

Answer 1

Of course it is, and sometimes even if a couple 'can't afford' it! It's well worth the sacrifice.
I was a SAHM, even though I was a teacher before, with two degrees. And once it came time for him to start school, my husband and I decided that I still should stay home - and it's made a world of difference to our son, our family, and our marriage. All are wonderful! Yes, we're struggling, but happier for it!

Answer 2

I would like to do this for my son. I don't think any nursery can be as good as being at home with mum.

My son is 1 year old and I've been home with him most of this year. I started a part time job when he was just 8 weeks old but left when he was 6 months because it wasn't working out - I was just too tired all the time. For the last 6 months I've been at home with him.

Its lovely but at the same time I feel bad about it - my partner is on minimum wage and is working 60+ hours a week to pay the bills and mortgage and this makes me feel awful. I need to help him out, I know. Plus we are barely breaking even with the amount of income we have. We won't be able to give our son much of a quality of life this way. So I will be looking for a part time job after Christmas. We will get help with the childcare costs as my partner is only on minimum wage, and in a way I wish we didn't as this means I have no "excuse" not to work!

I could not face going back to work full time and leaving him with a childminder all the time, but maybe on a part time basis just to bring enough money into the house so that every day is not a struggle.

Answer 3

I have a daughter who is now 5. We dont have any young children in our family and we moved to this house when she was 16 months old. To get her used to playing with other children I put her in a private nursery.She loved it first of all and the nursery nurses were wonderful,then when she got ot about three she started to hate it(with kids of 5 who were very boisterous)so I took her out and she started the school nursery at 4.
When she went to the first nursery it was just for a couple of hours three times a week and it was fine,she was happy but some babies were left there from 7 o clock in the morning til 6.45 at night,they would have to have their dinner and tea (and even breakfast) there and I often saw little babies holding up their arms to be picked up,crying their eyes out just wanting the attention that their mum would have given them had they been at home.
It was easy for me because I had the choice to take her out if I wished,but I feel really sorry for people who have to do it because they work.

Answer 4

I think parents should do what's right for them in their situation at the time. I also strongly feel that it's nobody's place to tell them that they made the "wrong" choice, or to ram their own particular choice down other people's throats.

If it's right for you to return to work, then find the best child care you can reasonably afford and do it. If you want to stay at home, that's fine too, but don't hold yourself up as "better" than the working mums because you aren't. Working whilst bringing up under-fives is like having 2 jobs. Anyone who does it and is successful deserves praise and respect, not condemnation.

Oh, and it's no point comparing children at that age; they're all different. Boys are definitely different to girls. Incidentally, since my son and daughter were with a childminder and then at nursery while I worked 20 hours a week. According to some of you they should be socially and intellectually challenged. Instead, they are bright, socially adept, forward-thinking, considerate, responsible, socially aware young adults in the top 5% at their (state) high school. So choke on that :)

Answer 5

Let's consider the qeustion from an historical viewpoint...and I'm talking about tens of thousand of years ago. You just didn't leave a child alone, The child would get killed/eaten/lost. So mothers took their infants everywhere. Look at the animal world. Mothers hover over their children. The ideal situation is for the mother to protect and teach the child until the child is ready to begin learning on his own. In this country we have social and economic pressures that many times require parents to put their children in nursery school, day-care centers, etc. Somehow these children seem to survive. But if the family can afford it I absolutely believe a parent (usually mom) should care for the child up to the first grade.

Answer 6

I personally believe that it is beneficial to have a child staying at home with their mothers until they are old enough to start school, as this way they get much more one-to-one attention then a child would get in a nursery.

However, i also believe that children should be regularly taken to playgroups/coffee mornings and given the chance to develop their social skills.

Answer 7

It is hard enough for mothers who for financial reasons have to return to work so its best not to judge.
Each mother must do what is right for her particular circumstance or what is right for her.
Its no use staying at home with your child if you need the money or you need to work for any reason as this may cause resentment within your relationship or towards your baby not every mother feels the need to be with her child 24/7 that does not mean she loves her child any less than the stay at home mum.
It just has to be a thought out decision who you leave your child with and as long as the child is safe and loved they will grow up happy.

Answer 8

YES! If you can afford it than I think that it is a great thing to stay home with your children! You will teach them far more than they will learn in a daycare! You can teach them to read, write, and talk! You can even teach them how to participate with other children...maybe you could hold a little get together every week where all the stay at home moms bring their kids to your house for lunch(of course you can always rotate between peoples homes) or you can meet at the park! In this little town where my parents live I see this all of the time! All the woman with babies and toddlers get together and take a walk then bring their kids to the park! There is always at least 20 people there, and its a great way to get your kids playing and interacting with other children! You can also put them in other things, and take them places! My mom used to take my brother and I (when we were little) to places like McDonalds that had playplaces....she was working on her degree, so as she studied we would go play!, and we would always meet other kids!!!

Answer 9

Hi,

MY mum stayed at home till I was school age becausse she told me 'she didnt have children to palm them off on otherpeople', she wanted to be there for me, care for me and love me and I really appreciate it. She took me to parent and toddler groups so I mixed with other children, we went to parkand woods etc so I had lots of experiences and then when it was time for pre-school at 3 years old I was happy and ready to go. I was happy because everyday mum would drop me off and pick me up-not a family friend, or nan but my mumand I could show her my paintings, my teachers could talk to her and I loved it!

In terms of cognitive development I was advanced to. I could read and beginning to write before I was started school and I had high level of speech and understanding. Whether this is because of all the one-to-one attention I dont know!

Now I am a preschool practitioner and I often have children come to me who have been at childminders since birth, or used to go to day nurseries and they just dont smile as much at the end of the session as those whose parents pick them up. Of course professionally I cant have an opinion I have to support whatever the parents choose for their children and sometimes I understanding parents want to work to have their own lives, to have money, keep their careers etc.
But I am really glad my mum was a 'stay at home mum'.

Answer 10

Well I'm sort of biased since I plan to be a day care owner.

Through my studies of early childhood education (I'm starting my 3rd semester in a few weeks!!) Children need to be around other children older and younger than them. Most homes don't offer this, but a day care does!

It has been proven that children who go to a proper day care do excel in school and are better behaved because they've always had to and they just adjust to changes better.

Now with males getting into teaching, young children have great role models of both sexes in schools. I know mothers worry why is a male wanting to be around a young children and trust me I sort of questioned it too but the children need these role models and trust me background checks, drug tests, references, etc are all mandatory before anyone even gets an interview so that's not something to worry about.

I think if you can afford it, put the child in day care for a few days a week! It gives you alone time and lets the child learn that you're not going to be at their hip 24/7!