Need help, I am scared.?

Question

Arghh, I just feel really bad, cannot shake the seeping dread poison that is flowing through my veins. Took mini od on Tuesday, another last night, I want to hurt myself, but I don't. This is confusing I want to tell somebody, but am paranoid. My t, said I should tell people when I get like this, but I'm too sared to. I'm worried my family will try to control me, and would be really upset if they knew. I am tempted to go back to the gp, but I get frightened in case she sends me away. What is realistically likely to happen if I tell my gp about this (have already been in A&E 3 times this year with overdoses). I live in the UK if that helps. I am really frightened about this feeling, and these thoughts, too scared of bing locked away. Please help me.

I only saw my gp on Friday, and she was concerned about me. I am in the process of being refered to a therapeutic community, have my next assessment on Thursday, and should enter in the new year. My gp wants me to see a psychiatrist associated with the therapeutic community. I am already on antidepressants. Just feel bad, and it will scare my family. Not eating much at all (now a lbs underweight), not sleeping well, the dread is still pumping through me.

To scared to talk to gp, as I get worried and paranoid they'll pack me of to a mental unit.

I'm 21.

Did try emailing sams just before the last time I ended going to A&E. It helped somewhat, but I still felt bad, and I'm too scared to phone.

Nurse Brandi - I'm not religeous. I'm not suicidal either, and that is a very scary thought of somebody taking control over me like. Its one of the reason that I'm not honest about how I feel, it plain scares me. The mental hlth system is as scary of having these thoughts and the poisonous dread feeling seeping through my cirulatory system.

Think I may wait until the assessment on Thursday, see if I can last until then. Feel like I'm wasting the gps time if I go back now. Must try and be brave eough on Thursday.

25th replier - I am not psychotic, even the gp is happy with my ability to know what reality is.

Well I very very tired. Couldn't hold off so took 24 ibuprofen tonight as I can get away with that one with having to answer awkward questions and going to A&E, where they could send me away. Have been emailing samaritans quite a lot.

Answer 1

Go back to your GP as soon as you can. Nobody is going to lock you up and throw away the key. With some antidepressants and counselling you could turn your life around.
Just supposing you went into hospital, would it be sooooo bad? Worse than than the life you are living now? It wouldn't be forever and you could go in voluntarily. Don't look on it as the end, it may very well be a beginning.
However, it may not come to that. Don't jump to conclusions, your fear conditions you to imagine the worst possible outcome. Reality isn't as scarey as your imagination would have you believe.
Best of luck, give your mental gremlins the heave-ho. Begin with your GP

Answer 2

I get like this a lot, especially this time of year, its cold, miserable and nothing seems to cheer me up. The truth is even when I confide in my family they don't seem to be able to understand, my doctor is great and they have helped me over the years deal with my bouts of depression, no I haven't been locked up, and now after 5 years on anti depressants my new doctor has helped me come off them. I still get the downs but its down to you as an individual to find what works for you, talking to a councillor helped me enormously, I can't tell you what to do, you have to want to get the help and going out there and trying is where you have to start. Don't wait until you can't think straight, get help now, gp's are much better at dealing with mental health problems and its only our own fears that stop us, its not as bad as we imagine to let someone help us. You have made a start by asking other people in the same situation for help and we will all give you what advice we can, but each person deals with things differently and so you must take what you need from the advice offered and make a choice as to where you go from there. I wish you all the very best and hope you find the right help. I live in the UK too.xxx

Answer 3

nice one smiler never knew about the sane line.

At 21 with as much insight as you have into your feelings and position it is unlikely that you will be "locked" anywhere, unless you want to be. There are many options for you to recover your well being at home and unless 2 docs and a social worker all agree that you are a serious imminent danger to yourself you will not be forced into anything.

Community mental health has come a long way in the last few years and you will find a great many people willing to ease your mind and offer you understanding.

There is a possibility that you may be better off somewhere that you can rest and have people on hand at all times but that is up to you.

Don't keep how bad you feel from your family they might be your best support

Answer 4

Get some help! You are doing the right thing in speaking to your GP - but go back and ask to be referred to your Community Mental Health Team. Don't hurt yourself - there are people out there who want to help you.

A psychiatric ward isn't like being 'sent away!'. You will just be in a safe place, whilst you can work out what is happening for you. It will make you feel safe and contained - unless you are under a section, you will be able to leave the ward etc. They try all they can to keep people out of hospitals so the men in white coats aren't going to bundle you in without thinking of all the options.

Tell your GP what you are going through - and get the support you need. Good luck!

You can also call Saneline - its open 1pm - 11pm 7 days a week, so call now!!! People on the other end are trained to understand mental health problems and will understand what you are telling them. 0845 767 8000

Answer 5

You poor girl. What a dilemma. Of course you're scared. Harming yourself because of the terrible pain you are in is NOT the answer. Ironicly, the only person that can help and direct you is your GP. She must be told exactly what you've told us. That you are afraid of being locked up. It's distressing at this time of year especially. Put your best foot forward and march into the GP's and tell her how frightened and scared you are. Don't hold anything back. You've taken the first step back to well being. You shared with us. Get back to us and tell us how Xmas was by Question...Road To Recovery??

We'll watch for you, OK?

Answer 6

Maybe this isn't what you want to hear. In fact it's probably not. But you said straight out that you want to hurt yourself, plu you've been repeatedly hurting yourself by overdosing. What if next time, you die? I understand your not wanting to be "locked away," nobody wants to feel like their freedom is taken from them, but how "free" are you really right now? You're scared, paranoid, and wanting to hurt yourself.

Have you considered checking into a hospital voluntarily? That way you would be free to leave if you so choose. And you could get the help that you need to get stabilized. Most hospitals admit people only for short stays (under two weeks) to get them to a point where they are stable and can better deal with their problems--you don't get shipped straight off to some crazy psych hospital for years--only the really, really bad cases do. I've been in psych wards twice for suicide attempts, and while it wasn't Disneyland, it was a safe, stress-free positive environment that allowed me to gain a better perspective, and also help get my treatment back on track. Both times I was involuntarily committed--so I had to get doctor's approval to be released, and both stays were under a week. Honestly, they were the light at the end of the dark tunnel I'd been in.

Just something to consider.

Answer 7

I am sorry, Mia. I would recommend going to your GP. She helped you before, right? You have a relationship so she must care that you get the help you need.

I'm sorry you're feeling so rotten. We all go through these tough times, but it sounds like this is an extra-tough time for you. You know what, though? By definition, feelings are fleeting. No matter how bad you are feeling, your mood will change. The positive thing is that when you're really down your mood can only improve :)

((((hugs))))

Answer 8

Listen my friend do not ever think, you are alone and the only one that has the same kind of problems you seem to be enduring at this moment.
Please be assured that my fellow answerer's will try as best they can to help,many with help based upon personal experiences,
But you do need to get the correct help from professional experts, who deal with this every day, The last thing they want, is to lock you away,Go back to your GP, and tell him/her about how you feel/ Take someone with you that you trust if you can, Good Luck

Answer 9

The dread is something we can all create in ourselves- you are torturing yourself with it. It cannot hurt you physically, and the only way to make it go away is to ignore it and focus yourself on what you want to think about instead. I'm not saying it's easy- I know how you feel. A year and a half ago I was completely immersed in psychosis. I felt unreal, I had voices, and strange sensations and didn't feel in control of myself anymore. I thought something evil was after me and was contacting me through my mind, and was absolutely petrified, and noone, even my family, the ones who I desperately wanted to understand me, had no idea what I was going through- I just told to 'tell it to go away,' or 'be brave.' It's so much worse than they can imagine and saying such rediculous things to someone who genuinely believes the devil is after them or something just makes them feel completely alone.
As time has gone on I've got better. Test it- next time you feel scared, wait half an hour and see if anything actually happened. I promise you- it will get less and less over time, and as you gain experience of these awful feelings/thoughts. You will be able to ignore them more easily, and genuinely believe that you are not in danger.
Oh, and by the way- even when doctors and psychiatric people came round to the house to see me, even after I attempted suicide (I am the last person who wants to die but I was terrified) they still never 'locked me away.' They were a bit on the patronising/ not very well informed side but they did not have any intention of taking me into care. They only do this to people who are out of control, dangerous, or live alone. Or who want to go into hospital. Otherwise they risk scaring the patient by taking them away from their place of safety and starting them on a self-fulfilling prophecy of 'I'm mad, everybody knows I'm mad and my life's ruined.'
Anyway,best of luck. You're not alone, and you will feel better.

P.s See my recent question:
http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Asz0gYrz0jZBuA2Z8BOjVF4hBgx.;_ylv=3?qid=20071212112132AA2m3zy

Answer 10

Talk to your GP if you feel he or she is sympathetic.Why should your family try to control you?It sounds like you are more frightened than paranoid.If you are not religious keep away from religion you need to keep your feet on the ground.Don't volunteer to go into hospital you will lose all your legal rights.Keep contact with the world through Q/A.