Bullies at school, What can I do as a dad to give the school a wake up call because they wont do anything?

Question

My son is in first grade and a 5th grader pushed him in the mud 3 times now and I contacted the school and sent emails.I took pictures everyday that he came home muddy and upset.His clothes are really nice and they got trashed.Is now the time I teach my son to fight or is there a way I can get the school to have a wake up call by contacting someone higher than the school. Im starting to get hot myself and want to handle this right.

I was a brawler when I was younger because of playing hockey.My son plays sports but he is not like me when its comes to fighting. My son is a shy guy and girls love him at school.Hes not a fighter and I love him for that.

He was pushed down 3 days in a row by the same kid. I did write the principle again and he responded the same." I will look into it for you sir" I doing well accually with keeping my cool.

He was pushed down 3 days in a row by the same kid. I did write the principle again and he responded the same." I will look into it for you sir" Im doing well accually with keeping my cool.

There were alot of good answers and I have decided to teach my son how to defend himself, but first he has to sit threw a lecture and know what steps to take before he fights back and he must learn its the last option. In my opinion, if parents dont teach there kids to fight back and win the right way, its possible they could get picked on all threw school and life because others know they are easy targets. We dont want our kids to have to snap and have another shooting in schools. Thanks all for your help.

Answer 1

You should do what you know is right in your heart, and that is to deal with this problem on all fronts. This is a real life lesson, not just some gradeschool skirmish and should be dealt with the same way you would deal with it if you yourself were getting bullied. If this were me I would be doing three things: (1) Talking to whoever at the school, (2) Teaching my kid the importance of standing up for yourself no matter what happens (bullies are cowards and usually just standing up to them is enough), but at the same time teaching them that nothing is accomplished through anger, (3) finally, teaching them that if all other possibilities are exhausted, then here's how you fight. You're response to this situation is exactly how the child will respond the rest of their life to bullies of all kinds whether it be their boss at work or their bully of a wife, haha. As long as they know that anger will only make them powerless, and to never be the one who throws the first punch, they will exude a confidence that makes most bullies pick an easier target. The worst case is if your kid comes home with a bloody nose or worse, but if they do they will be doing as you have done (i.e. what they know is right) and will have learned what it means to stand up to evil. What's better is the bully will have learned that not everyone is bully-able and if they are going to behave like that it's going to cost something. Just my two cents...I grew up in a rough neighborhood, but didn't have a problem with bullies because I didn't start anything, and I didn't back down when they started with me. 99% of it is psychological..

Answer 2

I have a couple of questions. Was your son pushed into the mud on three separate occasions, or three times during the same time? That makes a difference with regards to the definition of bullying. It's a repeated pattern of abuse. Who did you speak with? Was it the principal, assistant principal, teacher, counselor? Did you just send emails, or did you actually call? Being a pest can certainly get things done. At my school, the people to talk to would be the assistant principal and the two teachers involved (your son's teacher and the 5th grader's teacher). The principal doesn't deal with discipline issues (and when the principal does, it's not really DEALT with if you know what I mean). Continue to bug these people. Request a conference in person if need be. If that doesn't work, you can always complain to the central office of the school district. You can also try contacting the 5th grader's parents. What kind of a loser 10 year old pushes 6 year olds down? If I were that kid's teacher, I'd be SUCH a jerk to him and see to it that the opportunity never arose.

Answer 3

If your school is not being cooperative when you continue calling about the bullying, I would suggest taking the afternoon off from work tomorrow (or else very soon) and stopping by during the day to talk directly with his teacher, the principal, the guidance counselor, and anyone else you can speak to. A voice on the phone is easy for an administrator to hang up and ignore, but seeing you face-to-face is more likely to stick.

And, if your school is really intent on just not being helpful, it might not hurt to teach your son how to defend himself - I was always taught "never start a fight, always finish one". Self-defense is never a bad idea, especially if bullying is a chronic problem for your son, as it sounds like he is a passive little boy who doesn't want to be involved in conflict. Good luck!

Answer 4

Teach your son that fighting is wrong and that we should never initiate a fight, but that sometimes we must defend ourselves even if it means that we get hurt. I don't really think that your son has a chance against a 5th grader but at the same time he needs to learn now to have the courage to stand up against people even if they are bigger or meaner than we are.
The next thing that I would do if the school won't do anything is to call the superintendent of the school district and give them an ear full. If nothing happens, I would be at the next school board meeting. I would keep going up until someone hears me.

Answer 5

As a teacher, I can tell you that school's are just now being educated on bullying. Don't teach your son to fight, because if he fights back, he'll end up getting suspended, which won't do him any good and will just make you mad. The schools deal with tons of parent phone calls and emails all the time with situations that are completely false. I would recommend that you talk to the school principal in person, to let him/her know you mean business. Don't take no for an answer, but keep a cool head. If you get mad, they get defensive. Bring the pictures. If you get no where with the principal, contact the school superintendent. Again, do it in person. The principals and other administration get literally hundreds of emails and dozens of phone calls a day, and it is easier for them to take you seriously and the situation seriously if you see them in person. Don't give up on this, though, or just get mad. Bullying is a serious offense and can really make kids scared. Especially when your son is a lot younger than the bully.

Answer 6

he can't take on a kid 4 years (or more) older. He will never come out happy from that fight. Make an appointment with the school principal and state what is going on and explain that if it is not dealt with then you will be going to the board of education. If still happening ask for a contact card that you can give your lawyer (it can be an empty threat but that should work). Good for you for being happy with who your son is and not trying to change him. Some kids just aren't fighters. Get him to hang out with his friends. Often they won't bully a kid in a group but this sounds like an older kid showing off to his friends. The liitle brat needs to learn it is not "cool" to push little kids around

Answer 7

Take pictures? I would have taken my child up there each time and asked the school what is going on with the bully and the parents. I wouldn't give up as that is not a message you want your son to learn. If the school and family are not responsible enough to deal with it then they need to get educated on it fast. We know what bullies do as teens and adults. I will get hot for you. This bully needs to know there are repercussions.He needs to know how to defend himself and when but that is a lot of pressure for a 5th grader. I am so angry with this behavior that affects education and schools saying WE ARE TRYING. Well it isn't working so try harder

Answer 8

I believe that mild bullying is a part of life, learning and growing. However, what your describing is a bit out of hand.

I would definitly contact the super intendant, or go raise your voice at the school board if you dont get anywhere with the principal of the school. Have you thought about contacting the other childs parents?

I was bullied bad by a boy in 4th grade. At the end of school one day my mom confronted the boy!! Got right up in his face, lol. Im surprised she didnt get in trouble.

Answer 9

Schools don't want to admit there is a bully problem. There is a lot of negative press about that these days. I suggest contacting the parents of the bully and working on it from that angle.
sometimes getting the two together for play time at your house "supervised" helps.

they are different ages tho, huh?
unfortunately there is a significant size difference between 5th and 1st grade (5 and 10 yrs old)

Just don't beat the kid up yourself. Just kidding

Answer 10

1) Continue documenting every incident, what happened, photos, when and who you contacted and what they said.

2) Research school policy. Learn specifically how the administration's conduct violates school policy, even if it's on vague terms, such as ensuring the safety of students.

3) Keep going up the chain as high as you can go... including speaking at school board and school district meetings and bringing your photos and documentation with you. Quote school policy and explain how the school is breaking its own rules and failing its students.

4) Contact school board members and district members individually by phone. Ask what they can do to help. This might light a fire under their butts and spur some action.

5) Contact the education reporter at your local newspaper. A reporter should be interested in a schoolyard bully/teachers-doing-nothing story, especially if you have good photos to share.

Don't raise the issue of cost of clothes. It sounds elitist. Your stronger argument is child safety.

6) If all else fails, I would consider legal remedies. Or, move my kids to a different school. Or, run for school board and change the system.