I desperately need good advice, the thing is there is this guy that i am having an affair with I like him alot

Question

infact I think I have fallen inlove with him, now the problem
we work in the same company, both of us have agreed that we will keep it quite. but it is killing me, i dont know how to act around him. we kiss alot around the office when nobody is looking. what should i do? weekends are great, i either go to his place or he comes to my place . weekdays we are strangers around our colleuges. help me please

Answer 1

So I take it he's not married? Good!! Honestly, that kissing all over the office makes me nervous. Are you sure there aren't any cameras around??

Anyway, does your employer forbid relationships between coworkers? Oh yeah, I'll bet half the office knows.

For you guys to pull this off at work you are going to have to be 250% more professional then anyone else. You can't be kissing all around the office, as you will get caught. I promise you that. Especially with half the people knowing. And it only takes pissing one of those people off and your secret is out.

So if one of you can't transfer you're going to have to step up your game otherwise you'll both lose your jobs. And that would suck.

I also know from experince that when people are trying to "hide" their relationship at work they go overboard and it's so obvious. It's very frustrating to work with two love birds and pisssssing those people off enough they will revolt against you.

You guys can refrain from any hanky panky for 8 or 9 hours and at night you have yourself all to each other.

I'm not against what you doing at all, but you two need to really put some effort into this and stay away from each other at work and maintain utmost professionalism.

Good Luck

lb

Answer 2

This question really puzzles me!
It's not exactly an affair you're having if neither of you are attached or married to someone else! Or are you? Cos if you are,you're heading for a big fall.

And why are you both keeping things quiet if you are "both" free and single? And if you are,why can't you see eachother in the evening during the week and not just at weekends?

If you are both free and single,there's nothing wrong in anyone at work knowing you are seeing eachother,as long as you don't act inappropriately during working hours,it shouldn't be an issue.

And which one of you is the one that wants to keep all this quiet? Cos I maybe wrong but if he's the one wanting it all kept hush hush at work,I'd be asking myself why? Maybe it's cos he's shown interest in someone else that works at the same place and doesn't want them to know incase she spills the beans to you! Or maybe there are people at work that knows more about him than he's telling you!

All sounds a bit strange to me,especially if you are both free and single!

Answer 3

You need to ask him why he's keeping it a secret in the office. I offen think that people hide behind 'i just don't want anyone at work to find out' and 'it's my private life blah blah' when what they are really saying is that i don't like you enough to tell everyone and deal with the hassle right now.

Just be careful and don't get hurt. Make sure he's as honest with you as you are with him.

I went through a very similar situation. I met my wife at work and she didn't want anyone to know because she said she couldn't stand the gossip. Thankfully at the end of the day she was being honest and we finally told everyone and it was great and now we're married with kids!!

It might just be that he wants to be 100% sure about you before anyone finds out - that's kind of understandable because it's horrible telling everyone at work that it's full on one week then that it's all off the next week!

Just make sure he's being secretive for the right reasons!!

Answer 4

If you are both single then tell him how you feel, maybe he feels the same way. You should tell him because this will only get worse for you and if you cannot cope with keeping it a secret then maybe you should try and come out together. If he has something to hide, he will insist you keep it a secret, then you have a problem.

Answer 5

Why the need for secrecy? I know it can be difficult working with someone you're having a relationship with, but you're both sensible adults, arn't you? You know it would be immature to act anything but professionally in your workplace?

ps - most people on here assume one of you is married. Is this a fact? If so, the above advice is irrelevant - I don't approve of cheating!

Answer 6

Does your work forbidd you from personal relationship at work? Or, is this something you guys made up?

Either way it is never good to even kiss around the office. Who know who can be looking. It is very unprofessional.

As for your relationship, its none of anyone's business what you guys do. So I don't really seee the need to tell anyone. Just don't act s.t.upid at work.

Answer 7

Are you or him the married one?
A relationship based on an affair will not work.
Have fun for now if you want but think about the people who could get hurt & if youd like it to happen to you.
It wont ever be a proper relationship.

Answer 8

Believe me, dont' tell the people at work that you are together, to avoid so much unnecessary trouble.

There's not much you can do when you both in office, actually the only thing you can do is to kiss when nobody is looking. But please remember that, its very dangerous. Someone can look at you when you can't look at them. Or beware the cam!!

Answer 9

Don't feel weird just think of it as keeping on a professional level which is best because it keeps the gossip down more when people don't know your business..Peace and Love

Answer 10

Respect what he asked people at work will act different if they know you guys are together. He comes over and oyu get to kiss him at work so leave it alone. What do you want to brag about him? Keep it on the low so you both don't get into trouble at work