My boyfriend has been acting differently over the past month. He's obsessed with the show the pickup artist on vh1 and even has downloaded cds on how to pickup women. when i asked why he would want to know that when he has me, he responded by saying it was to become more social and popular. He had been texting one of my friends which is a girl. He gets mad if i read his text messages and even ripped the cell phone out of my hands and deleted his messages before i could read them. finally he's never liked myspace but he recently got one. He asked me if he could add his ex and i said fine because i didnt want to be one of "those" type girls. I dont think he is cheating yet but it does make me mad hes doing all this stuff, it seems as though he is wanting to cheat or find someone else. am i crazy for being nervous about this?
2007-12-04 20:28:49 · 8 answers · asked by amy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have talked to him about all of this, he always comes up with an excuse and says im just paranoid and its not normal for me to be acting this way.
2007-12-04 20:43:31 · update #1
P.S. Turning it around on you ("you're paranoid" and "not normal") is a Class A way for cheaters/cheater-wanna-be's to try and deflect the focus on what they're doing. It is a very common tactic and also a huge red flag. Not to mention, what HE's doing is worthy of being "paranoid" and believe me, IS normal.
2007-12-04 23:12:42 · answer #1 · answered by Gauffsa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't accuse him. But DO ask if he is satisfied with the relationship. Also ask yourself if you are satisfied with how things are. I've been on both sides of the coin--I've been accused (when it wasn't true) and felt controlled and then later with the same girl we actually ended up playing the reverse roles.. isnt that weird? except when i was suspicious of her it turned out to be for an actual reason--ie: she was cheating on me and had been for a whole year and was actually pregnant with the guys child but hid it from me. (I know... sounds pretty crazy). I never used to be a suspicious person but the reason I found out--the thing that made me look into things in the first place--was that sudden change of behavior you mentioned. It definitely tells you something. It might not be cheating though... don't assume that, but *something* is up-- even if it is only that he is mad or frustrated because he feels you are not giving him something he feels he deserves. I hope that helps in some way. I don't know if it does... I recommend sitting down with him in a moment when you are both feeling very calm (NOT when you are already in an argument) and asking him if he feels like he can be honest with you about his feelings, about his needs and concerns in the relationship. Ask him if it feels safe for him to express things openly with you. Also, unlike me in the past: TRUST your intuition. Trust it. Because deep down a person in love always knows if something is wrong. We've had millions of years of evolution to develop a very keen sense of love and honesty. And inside you is more than your own experience--it's a genetic wealth of your ancestors experiences in relationships since time began. So trust that intuition. If there is any time in your life to use it, it is in matters of love.
2007-12-04 20:53:21 · answer #2 · answered by Sailor Rick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
id be kinda nervous if i was you. honestly, if i was doing that, it would either be to speed things up with my girl, or, much more likely, to line up something better for when i dump her soon. maybe he thinks you dont like him that much or even that you're cheating (is he given to paranoia?)...
is there another guy that you like? couldn't hurt to start looking from my viewpoint. or, you might just confront him and tell him exactly what you wrote here. he doesn't seem very attached to you at the moment though...
2007-12-04 20:36:45 · answer #3 · answered by somebody 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your guy might not b cheatin, but im sure he will soon enough... i dont understand why a guy that luve som1 would want to get advice to pick up chix... and most ppl want to stay away from the ex not stay in contact.. mayb he's tryin to get his ex bak .. and why is he texting 1 of your friends? if you think somthings goin on ask your friend to show you her texts from him you might b able to get rid of 2 losers at once
2007-12-04 20:39:41 · answer #4 · answered by angelz@princess265 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not crazy. You just need a different boyfriend (whether he's actually "done the deed" yet or not).
2007-12-04 20:34:42 · answer #5 · answered by Skepticat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he's cheating!if he deletes his messages before you can read them then he has a lot to hide!get rid of him before he hurts you
2007-12-04 20:38:35 · answer #6 · answered by tazette 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, if he is doing something like that, he is up to something. he is getting ready to hurts you, well he already have. You should get ready for what is instored. good luck
2007-12-04 20:39:26 · answer #7 · answered by zenbonzakura 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you can't talk with the person you are with, you shouldn't be with them.
2007-12-04 20:37:10 · answer #8 · answered by DocLove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋