My boyfriend is very caring and loyal. One day he admitted that when he saw me from afar, he thought to himself "oh my god, she has a nice ***,"not knowing who I was. From that moment on, my female instincts have been annoying the heck out of me. I am jealous of all attractive girls, I am determined to look my best, and I am worried that my boyfriend looks at other girls.
Men (and women) look at eachother to determine whether the other one is attractive, as an unwritten rule I guess. Lately, a lot of people I personally know have cheated on their significant others. It seems that women are doomed. There will always be another attractive woman out there for my boyfriend. I want to stay comfortable in my own skin, but I am now insecure.
Advice? Consolation? Shut me up?:(
2007-12-04 18:17:05 · 6 answers · asked by mmmoatmeal 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think you are making the whole situation far more dire than it has to be. Yes, people look at each other. Yes, female bodies are meant to be looked at and enjoyed by male bodies, for the eventual continuation of the species. Likewise, male bodies are meant to be looked at and enjoyed by female bodies, again, for the eventual continuation of the species. Whether you believe in evolution or you believe that God created us specifically and individually, that holds true.
Just like eating nutritious food in order to keep your body healthy and strong can involve some seriously delicious, wonderfully sensual experiences - and of a higher order than a Big Mac and an order of fries - so the sensual enjoyment of the human body is right and good.
Are you saying you never enjoy looking at other nice, healthy, strong male bodies, that you think your boyfriend should not be allowed to look either? I look at guys all the time, and have no problem with my boyfriend looking at other women - we both laugh, and think it is just fine. Because we love each other, and trust in each other to keep faith. We each love more than just the eye-candy portion of the other. Do you have no other qualities that your boyfriend appreciates and loves than your nice behind? I suppose it is possible. If so, perhaps you should think about whether or not you really want to be in such a shallow relationship. But if you have reason to believe he likes more than just your looks, bear that in mind - that no matter how attractive other women might be, they simply are not you. They don't have the rest of your package of traits that your boyfriend values.
It is true, many people cheat. But if Marilyn Monroe's husbands could cheat on her, I swear by all that's holy, that cheating has nothing to do looks.
And really if people cheating on each other was the worst thing that happens in this world, there would be a lot less children getting killed in drive-by-shootings. Yes, it is painful, but you can deal with it, should it happen to you, and I guarantee it won't be the worst pain you ever feel.
If this little pep talk doesn't help much, perhaps you could talk to a counselor, because I think this worry is out of balance - perhaps because you need to work on your confidence and self-esteem, perhaps because you need to work on coping skills to keep your emotions from running away with you. I hope you don't think this is a mean thing to say, because I'm someone who has worked with counselors on many different areas, and gotten a lot of benefit by it.
2007-12-04 18:39:09 · answer #1 · answered by Windi Lea 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay. So there's attractive women out there, but so what? You got the guy so keep him! What's your best quality? Bring out the personality that everyone loves, the humour and whatever, it's these personal things that makes you seem endearing. Those girls might look like they've got it all, but who knows maybe they haven't got it all together! Relationships take effort, it might not be just the outside that makes people cheat. It could be lots of other possible problems, like fights and misunderstandings.
YOU just need to feel confident and then you'll be radiant and outshine the others. (Sounds lame, but it's true!)
2007-12-04 18:25:58 · answer #2 · answered by mareyys 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So you would rather he didn't think your *** was nice looking?
Some people are never happy. Oh well. Here goes.
Basically, with a few exceptions, men are going to look at women. Yes, even women that are not THAT attractive. Just be glad he thinks you look nice and as long as he treats you with respect don't worry about it.
If you find out he is doing more than looking kick him in the ****s.
2007-12-04 18:26:52 · answer #3 · answered by don_sv_az 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course their is always someone more attractive then you. Womans look get played out and some guys just get tired of it.
Just because we guys look at other woman don't mean we can have them. Have trust in your bf, the less attractive thing you can do is not have any trust. Going crazy over of nothing. My advice is if he cheats on your, he doesn't even deserve you.
2007-12-04 18:26:02 · answer #4 · answered by cheng 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are just being insecure.
Your boyfriend is still with you right?
Have a talk with your boyfriend and tell him how you feel. In a relationship you should communicate. Lots of relationships fail due to a loss of communication.
Men always check other women out - but they do not marry them.
2007-12-04 18:32:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
People waste their whole lives chasing next-best-thing...and they never catch it. Sure, there are others that are better off than you, but remember there is always someone worse off than you as well. It's all relative.
Take your boyfriend's comment about your nice *** as a complement and don't read too much into it. Your nice *** caught his attention, but it was probably your personality that kept it.
Just be who you want to be. If you love yourself, then others will. And if they don't love you? That's their loss, not yours!
2007-12-04 18:25:35 · answer #6 · answered by pdx b-bang 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋