and i've told him about it but he ignores me like he doesn't hear me so what should i do??
2007-12-04 17:57:12 · 7 answers · asked by Dimples 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Then a conversation, outside of the bedroom, needs to take place. If you can't talk to him about this then you shouldn't be having sex. So if you are going to talk to him there are a few things you can do that might help him open up and talk about it.
First of all guys aren't very good at just sitting down and talking about things. They hate it. Men are more receptive to talk if they are busy doing something with their hands. So bring it up while driving is always a great way to get him to talk, or if he's working on the car or something like that.
I'm not saying it's not going to be easy to talk about and if you're dying on the inside that's okay. Just keep it short and sweet.
Just start out by saying "I have a problem" that way you aren't accusing him of anything. Honestly tell him what you just told us. Say "I don't know why, but I'm have a really really hard time with how rough our sex is, I feel bad because I know how much you like it but I'm really not comfortable with that level of roughness, so I was wondering if we could work something out so I'm more comfortable" He's either going to want to talk or not.
If he wants to talk about it, well than that's easy. You just keep the conversation going. Now if he doesn't want to talk about it, or he says he'll respect how you feel and then doesn't then cut him off. I usually don't believe in withholding sex, but in some cases you have too.
Tell him that since he has refused to respect how you feel in bed then there won't be any more sex until it gets worked out. Then you need to ask him why he won't respect how you feel and do it differently. If he says he doesn't know or he can't see what the big deal is then I'd be wondering if this guy is for me.
If you keep having sex with him and he's not respecting you, I can promise you you're going to end up with emotional crap you don't want. Stick to your guns!!
Good Luck
lb
2007-12-04 19:43:33 · answer #1 · answered by Shel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've done what you should have in telling him how you feel. He ignored you and didn't consider your feelings at all; he's not a great guy. You should take this as a sign that it's time to leave him and find someone who will treat you well. Who what's to be in a relationship where the sex is bad anyways.
2007-12-05 02:02:55 · answer #2 · answered by Athena 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If this man does not respect your wishes with regards to sex, especially if he's hurting you, leave him. It could be a sign of worse things to come. At the very least it is totally inconsiderate and selfish on his part. At the worst, it could be a sign of a violent attitude towards women. DO NOT PUT UP WITH IT.
2007-12-05 02:04:04 · answer #3 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop having sex with him and when he asks why you are not sleeping with him say i told you already i think he will get the point and if he does not get the point than maybe you need to find a more considerate man that will listen to you.
2007-12-05 02:02:48 · answer #4 · answered by TallyLady83 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WITH HOLD. LETS SEE HOW ROUGH HE IS THEN!
2007-12-05 03:10:57 · answer #5 · answered by Wheres the Rum Gone? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a new boyfriend.
This is abuse.
2007-12-05 02:02:08 · answer #6 · answered by don_sv_az 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
tell him no more or no more sex for him
2007-12-05 02:02:28 · answer #7 · answered by jeff d 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋