When I was 17-18 I had my first boyfriend.. which I can say was the most significant relationship of my life. I had to cope with unbelievable amounts of grief during this time period because everyone seemed to have a problem with the fact that he is 2 years younger then me. My family, friends, and even acquaintances were constantly trying to tear us apart until finally my parents succeeded. It was the most difficult thing I had ever had to do, but I was forced to break it off. He and I have remained friends throughout these 7 years and are still quite close. My question is.. my brother (20) has a new girlfriend who is 3 years younger then he is and no one seems to have any problem with this at all. I realize that I can't be mad at my brother for the heartache I had to go through for the same thing he is enjoying everyday without restraint. But I still feel frustrated on some level even though I have moved passed this. Is this normal at all?
2007-12-04 15:41:46 · 10 answers · asked by Christy V 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Your situation seems very unfair. You have the right to feel frustrated and upset.
Many people find it socially unacceptable for a female to be older than the male in a relationship. It seems like your family feels this way.
You resent your brother because your parents are accepting his relationship when they did not accept yours. What you are feeling is normal. Best of luck to you.
2007-12-04 15:47:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
For some reason it always seems more acceptable for older guys to date younger girls. Still 17 is still jailbait in some states.
They should have never driven you to break up with someone because of a 2 year age gap! If the spark is still there, go for your love of your life! No one shpuld have butted in what was a great thing because of a silly age gap that now, in your 20's, doesn't even matter.
BTW... both my grandmas were 3-5 years older than my grandpas, and their marriages have lasted over 50 years or till death did them part! So who knows... I'd say go for it, and maybe now that almost a decade has passed, your family and friends will see reason and finally accept your happiness!
2007-12-04 15:48:07 · answer #2 · answered by dollmaker_extraordinaire 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
2000 years of philosophy ,, says the perfect relationship starts when you take the mans age divide by 2 then add 7. So your 20 yo brother and 17 yo girlfriend is perfect. At teen years generally girls mature faster so it is maturity level as opposed to chronological age that makes a couple compatible. Once men are much older their earning power generally enables them to pick a more attractive (generally younger) mate. So through most of human life the man is older.
2007-12-04 15:58:13 · answer #3 · answered by sfcjoe4d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I get the feeling you havent healed from this guy in the first place. I wonder if you still have feelings or even love him? That is where the healing needs to begin because once you do that, what your bro. does wont bother you. Second, maybe your parents recognize their mistake in you and dont want him to go through the same thing.
2007-12-04 19:55:42 · answer #4 · answered by Wheres the Rum Gone? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL i have a younger brother as well and i fought many times with my parents especially my dad for allowing my brother to get away with things and being double strict with me...and the argument came with curfew...if i dared to come late home...
the argument would always be but u a girl and its not safe bla bla bla.....but sometimes i would win the argument sometimes my dad would...because me and my brother is so close in age they were forced to treat us like TWINS!! LOL
so yeah its unfair being a girl and all...but i do believe sometimes....SOMETIMES....dads do that for our own good.
(but in ur case...the age thing?? LOL could u date a guy 10 years older than u just for shock effect?? that's what i would do)
2007-12-04 15:51:25 · answer #5 · answered by Phoenix21 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is normal to feel this way and yes society expects the female in a relationship to be younger --- it is a double standard then again look at all the other double standards that exist ---- best wishes
2007-12-04 15:45:51 · answer #6 · answered by trader1867 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is better to have love then not to love at all someone once said it normal you cant control what you feel my sister has a boyfriend 2 years older then she is but parent should see there kid happy not break you up so it ok maybe someday you be with him again its never to late to love god speed youll find your love i know it its in your heart
2007-12-04 15:50:56 · answer #7 · answered by Kenny B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is genuinely accepted that males will date younger females and women will date older males. It doesn't mean it is right, but that is the way the cookie crumbles.
2007-12-04 15:46:41 · answer #8 · answered by Chris W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well yea its normal, you have every right to be agravated about it i know i would be,
2007-12-04 15:49:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
uhhhhh
2007-12-04 16:35:03 · answer #10 · answered by Jay M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋