The mother of my 5 week old baby is on my bad side.?

Question

She drinks a couple times a week. not much maybe a couple glasses of sangria or wine. our 5 week old starts crying and she cannot breast feed. We have to give her formula or frozen milk. I've also noticed she has a harder time dealing with the baby when she cries when she drinks. It upsets me and I feel she should not drink at all. Am I wrong? I know im probably being a hard a$$ but I just want my daughter taken care of properly at all times.
Anyway, I sometimes think we should go our seperate ways, but I don't want my daughter to grow up without me in her life at all times.
What do I do?

Answer 1

You sound like a good man, talk to her about this. I think you do have a point, you wouldnt want nothing to happen to the baby because she drinks. when my son was born i knew that i had to take care of him in a well manner. I waited 6 months till i drank a beer, it's stressing but she should know what to expect when a baby comes along. Good luck,

Answer 2

you need to sit down and talk to the mother of the baby and see how she feels about everything as well... you not being hard a** your being a caring father and there's nothing wrong with that... you're right though, she shouldn't be drinking if she's breastfeeding, and if she has a harder time taking care of your daughter when she's been drinking thats not good either. talk to her and see if theres any way that she can cut down on the drinking, i don't think a glass or too at night would really be to bad, as long as you guys have enough frozen milk or formula in case your daughter wakes up hungry.. it sounds like it's the drinking that has you thinking about going your seperate way so maybe if she can cut it down some you two won't have as many problems, but if you continue to be unhappy than you need to get out of the relationship, your daughter will be able to sense whether your happy or not and if your not happy she won't be either, and i'm sure you'd rather her be happy than to have both parents around all the time. good luck with everything

Answer 3

I recommend three things:

1. Get counseling!!!!! There are professional counselors out there for just this very thing. They will help you and your daughter's mother identify the real problems in your relationship, including the reason she drinks. Then they will aid you in finding constructive ways of resolving your problems. You are right to not want your daughter growing up without you, and if you love her you'll try to work this out.

2. That said, if the woman refuses, there is not much you can do. It is better to go your separate ways with the woman, rather than stick around and essentially teach your daughter how NOT to have a relationship, further damaging her own ability to have relationships later in life.

3. If you do separate from the mother, that does NOT mean that your daughter has to grow up without you. You can still be an active father, and SHOULD be. You are responsible for her well-being, regardless of what happens to you and the mother. Be a good dad, no matter what. If you don't, it will come back to haunt you in many ways. I guarantee it.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Your baby's mother sounds like she may be suffering from Postpartum depression, you should speak with her doctor and tell her about what's going on. She obviously needs help and her actions are a concern. Something has triggered this behavior and she well indeed needs some counseling.
Hope things turn out okay for the well-being of your child.

Depression is manifested both physically and emotionally. The classic physical signs of depression are headaches, fatigue, digestive problems, hyperactivity, sleeping disorders, loss of concentration, and distorted eating patterns.
Chemicals imbalances in the brain can also be either the cause or effect of depression. Dopamine is the chemical that produces anxiety, stress, nervousness, and aggression. When the level of dopamine is ELEVATED, a person may develop feelings of insecurity, paranoia, and fear. Serotonin is another important chemical in the brain that can affect a person's mental well-being.
A person with LOW serotonin levels displays mood swings, and some sort of compulsion, such as alcoholism, overeating, or being a workaholic, perfectionist, or procrastinator.

Best ways to beat depression is Diet, Exercise, Supplements or Therapy.

Its essential to get the B-complex vitamins, since they work together to balance proper brain functioning.
Fatty acids, such Omega-6, Omega-3.
Magnesium and herbal extracts such:
St. John's wort (Hypericum perforatum in Latin) is a long-living plant with yellow flowers. It contains many chemical compounds.

Answer 5

i wish all daddies are like you. Its really odd when its the mommy that doesnt care about the baby. Have you tried talking to your wife? If she still doesnt care and if the situation gets worse go get a divorce. Its not always that the child's custody goes to the mother. Custody will be given to the parent who can give a better life to child. If its proven in court (i hope you have witnesses) that she is not capable of taking care of the baby, then the child's custody will be yours. I hope you win. She's a bad Mommy.

Answer 6

Do you mean reheated frozen breastmilk? If so, the baby is fine. Is there a reason you can't feed your daughter. That is perfect bonding time for you and your child. Moms need a break every once in a while too.

Answer 7

Your in basic terms going to could enable her cry, if not the rest works. it somewhat is okay to enable her cry, and it will tutor her that she would be in a position to sleep on my own without you keeping her. in case you maintain doing this you're caught drowsing along with her for a protracted time. it somewhat is termed the CIT approach. Do you think of she might have acid reflux affliction or colic? you're able to take her to the surgeon, multiple toddlers can get acid reflux affliction. 2 issues that worked for my son and my nephew are gas drops and rice cereal. She won't be getting finished sufficient, in case you employ formula or pump you are able to placed a touch cereal in her bottle as quickly as she's 2 months previous. a million table spoon for each 2 ouncesof formula or breast milk. That made my son sleep all evening whilst he replaced into 2 months previous, in the previous that he looked colicky and had difficulty drowsing. in the experience that your utilising formula and its the iron based style, attempt to apply one for fussiness and gas.

Answer 8

First of all, moderate alcohol intake is not necessarily incompatible with breastfeeding:

http://kellymom.com/health/lifestyle/alcohol.html

Second, if you question your girlfriend's judgment or patience when she drinks, and you want your daughter "taken care of properly at all times", step in and take care of the baby yourself when her mother needs a break.

Answer 9

there is more to this then meets the eye in your story. i think just by your facts alone its not reason to go seperate ways. if you are in the household you should help out. if you are not then you need to get concerned and fast. take the baby that night when she is going out. eithor way you all need to talk to each other and not to yahoo answers.

Answer 10

I'm guessing she drank more before she got pregnant, and maybe some(behind your back) while pregnant. Maybe she drinks more than what you think she does. Talk to her about it. Tell her exactly what you told us. Perhaps maybe you both should stop drinking, period.