I am ugly...Has anyone ever experienced this in their lives?

Question

I am an ugly 18-year old college gal who is utterly depressed right now.The reason I'm posting this thing in here is because I have no one to share my innermost feelings with.
My story: My looks prevent me from meeting new people...Every time I see a person I'd like to be friends with, I can't muster enough courage to go talk to them. I believe they wlll only be experiencing a nightmare if they saw me. I soo wish I could look "normal"..like every other girl on the street. I have no desire to look glamorous... I just want to look "normal".."presentable". I can never befriend a guy...Whenever, I see a guy I'd like to talk to, I'm reminded of how ugly I am. As a result, I find myself hiding from guys I know from school so I won't have to talk to them. When there are occasions when I do need to have a conversation with a guy, I get extremely conscious about my looks and regret even having started the conversation in the first place. To sum it up, my looks have impaired my social life.

I posted my pics some weeks ago on yahoo answers and a number of them said I AM ugly.

How do you know I'm not ugly? You haven't even seen me!

There were several incidents that took place when i was in high school that kinda validate this. I was called "KING KONG" by most of the guys in my high school. Isn't that enough to prove that i am ugly. Prior to this, I tried to believe im beautiful but the incident totally ripped me apart.

Answer 1

Hi, Everyone has beautiful things about them. First what you need to do is stop being so harsh on yourself. I have this friend who when I first saw her I thought she looked like a horse! She was so outgoing and happy, and just fixed her hair nice and dressed pretty and really obviously didn't think she looked bad, so everyone liked her! She ended up marrying a dr. and had tons of bfs. Get in some groups. There are plenty of people who don't believe that looks are everything. There is always someone for everyone and I know if you will just look around you will find people who you can relate to. Email me if you'd like to talk more. GL

Answer 2

I can't comment on your looks because I haven't seen you but:
1) People on YA saying you're ugly means nothing at all, some will say that just because you have asked the question
2) It only takes one boy at school to call you names for any reason at all and his friends and others will do the same for no reason other than that he has said it.
Neither of these things is a reliable guide.
Could it be that you are so concerned with your looks that you are letting it impair your social life?
Examples from your text:
"Every time I see a person I'd like to be friends with, I can't muster enough courage to go talk to them. I believe they wlll only be experiencing a nightmare if they saw me"
"Whenever, I see a guy I'd like to talk to, I'm reminded of how ugly I am. As a result, I find myself hiding from guys I know from school so I won't have to talk to them. When there are occasions when I do need to have a conversation with a guy, I get extremely conscious about my looks and regret even having started the conversation in the first place"
These show what YOU think, not necessarily what others think. Unfortunately most 18 year olds go by looks and haven't learnt that there is much more to a person than looks alone. This obviously worries you because of your opinion of your looks, but whatever you do look like there will be someone out there who will see the real you and will value you for what you are, not only how you look. If you show people that you don't think much of yourself they will think less of you as well, be confident and don't let others get you down, the right person will come along one day.

<<< PS that's not exactly good looking, is it? But I've always got along OK, so don't give up hope.

Answer 3

I relate to this as I feel the same way, I was repeatedly told out loud at school when I was younger that I was ugly while others looked on laughing, it ruins any small amount of confidence you may have had to start with, I don't even like walking outside as i'm afraid of what people think of me, I've suffered from acne for twelve years so I don't feel the least bit attractive and thus never had a boyfriend and i'm now 24 years old, I wouldn't even have the nerve to ask a guy out cos I know i'm a plain Jane and they'd probably look on in disgust.

Answer 4

Wow - this has nothing to do with your looks. Do you realize that this is entirely about how you feel - not how others see you or how you actually do look? Without a picture we don't know for sure, but unless you have a massive scar that has left one eye higher than the other and half you hair missing, there is a guy out there who would love to take you out! I'm serious, honey. They want a few teeth and a pulse and the usual equipment on a woman and that is it. You need counseling, because no one is as ugly as you describe and we hear from people all the time who are being told they are ugly out of malice and no one is even doing this to you, are they? Which means you are fine. But your constantly running yourself down like this IS a turnoff for friends and guys too. You need to re-evaluate your assets - because we all can look a little shabby without the right hair style and without some makeup here and there. I have a big old Harry Potter scar on my forehead from an accident and I still get compliments. You need to change your attitude. Feelings like you are having are like being anorexic, though - I am not sure who started this with you, but you need some counseling and some help to fix your mental picture of yourself. You are not getting guys because you are hiding and skulking and acting like a freak around them - you need to get real with your looks being just fine and work whatever you have to the best of your ability - guys like that. Work on your confidence and guys will respond just fine. You just must seem so uncomfortable talking to them, but you should not be. Guys love for any girl to chat them up, they really do. Talk to someone - get someone to help you fix your self-image, because only your image is bad, I am sure you are fine, just like all the people who put up their pictures when people say they are ugly and ask what is wrong with them - there isn't anything peculiar about any of their looks - just their self-image is wounded and sometimes damaged. You need someone to help you heal your self-image and your self-confidence.

Answer 5

"Ugly" is subjective. As is "normal."

So, what kind of ugly are you? Are you ugly b/c other kids always called you that? Do you have a deformity, scarring, or something truly abnormal? Either way, it can be worked with. Unless you got a penis growing out of your head, you should be ok. Self-confidence is the number one key to not being "ugly."

When I was younger I didn't know the first thing about cosmetics, how to dress, how to do my hair and all that superficial stuff. And I grew up being told I was ugly. I'm not, but it takes a long time to deal with that. Hey maybe you are really ugly, but that doesn't mean that you can't do something to change it. It could be that your ugliness is just hiding something else and you need to learn the right combo to bring it out.

Taking the time to learn these things can help. Is your skin uneven? Do you have old acne scars? Maybe the right foundation, lightly applied can even that out. Is there something about your face that bothers you? Try a different hair style, you'd be surprised how your hair affects the look of your face. Go to a quality hair salon and drop some money on a new style, get their advice. You can go to bookstores and pick up hairstyle magazines that show all kinds of options. Start with a side part, a middle part ALWAYS messes up the face, very few people can pull it off. What kind of product do you use on your hair? Invest in salon quality products appropriate to your hair type. Same for styling products. Search for tutorials online.

What about your eyebrows? You might need to clean them up a bit, you can do this yourself with tweezers but I suggest spending $40 or so on having a stylist shape them for you. Maybe some care to your brows will open up your eyes some.

Do you wear glasses? Maybe you could do contacts or a different shape of glasses.

Clothes? Ok, this is getting expensive isn't it? Since you're a college student, you can get away with the hippy, thrift look. Really take a look at your coloring (hair and skin tone) to determine the shades that look good on you. Look at some magazines and look at the females with the same coloring. They'll be wearing cosmetics and clothes that flatter them. Do the same for body shape. Clothes fit everyone differently. Find your assets. You do have them, even if you don't realize it. Maybe you got a good butt, show it off! Small boobs? No problem they are attractive on their own merit and can be accentuated with the right clothes. Waist length, leg length, curves or not - they can all be adjusted for with clothing.

All this grooming may sound fake and unnecessary but putting this effort into yourself can do a lot for you. Number one is vanity. Don't ever buy into that BS about vanity being a bad thing. It isn't. Narcissism is. Take pride in yourself, indulge in a little vanity - learn these tricks. If you're not already doing it, eat healthy and exercise. Focus on yourself for awhile and you'll start gaining confidence. Then, get out of your own head and start meeting strangers, to hell with what they think.

Answer 6

Now come on, you should know, that people can be very sarcastic and especially, when you post your pictures, because they want to put you down, because you are probably very cute. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and how do you know you are ugly? Who are the other people to judge your looks? This negative thinking can give you a bad facial expression, so stop putting yourself down. If you want to change your looks, go to your hairdresser and get some opinions on a hair cut that suits your face and have someone do your make up. Try it.

Answer 7

aww. everythings going to be okay. i feel ugly too. that's how I found this question. I knew I wasn't the only one worried about it.

I also knew it didn't do me any good to worry about it. people are funny. they like this and they don't like that and they don't know why and they change their mind constantly. just when I think "guess I'll dress comfortably and stop worrying about shaving and stuff cause it doesn't matter" some lady at work gave me a hug and a kiss just cause she hadn't seen me in a while, and I was like "eeooo!" how could she kiss something like me??

people who act out of love do it cause they are happy and just want to be a part of it all, the funny human race we're in. You can be one of the loving people when you have the strength to be compassionate to others. Make others wonder how they were lucky enough to be hugged and appreciated by you.

Other times you take your humble self to school and do the best you can, trusting that the people who see your chin up will have the courage to lift theirs too.

be patient, understanding, and open with the world you live in. it will come back to you!

Answer 8

So you're ugly, so what ? There are a lot of so say pretty girls out there with ugly attitudes. They look nice but the novelty soon wears off. I work with a really ugly woman, I mean superbly ugly. But guess what, she is a really nice lady with a nice husband and a couple of smashing kids. She is very happy, her husband is happy and the kids are happy. Because SHE IS BEAUTIFUL INSIDE !! I'd much rather be with someone like her than some of the good looking bitches I've known.

Answer 9

ya know what hun, i really dont think that ur ugly. i think you just have etremely LOW self-esteem. just go out shopping with someone who's taste you really admire (if you're too shy to ask, then just look at mag) and buy some new clothes and shoes that you absolutely LOVE, get a new hairdo that you also LOVE, and if you wear makeup, then get some professional advice on how to do it to suit you. You'll feel GREAT, and it'll show. People will come and approach you! Don't hide, and BE CONFIDENT! People will think that you're depressing and anti-social, and who wants to be around people like that? I know how cliche this sounds, but you have to tell yoursef that you're worth it and beautiful, and other people will start to believe it too!

Answer 10

dont be down because of your looks. be strong there is someone for everyone out there. there was a girl at my school who had the same problem as yours but she dint care about what people said instead she always did something about her hair face clothes etc. i think doing this made her feel better and it changed her situations. despite her looks she now has a loving boyfriend and she is happy. if anyone should love you because of you looks alone then that person isnt ready for a relationship. i can see that its getting difficult with you and the fact that you are a teen is even more difficult, trust me you will find someone to love you, the fact that these guys dont get attracted to you is for a reason. and that reason is there is someone out there for you who is made to appriciate you for everything you are and not just looks.