She says "Let me worry about it"
2007-12-04 14:34:12 · 10 answers · asked by Teri H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sometimes the greatest gift we can give a loved one is to let go. My grandmother COULDN'T eat so we used Ensure. However, toward the end it was apparent that she felt it was in fact the end and she wouldn't touch anything. All of my aunt's and uncles 'warned' if she didn't eat the dr's would have to put in a feeding tube. I finally had to be the one to bring it up to the family that maybe the kindest and most compassionate thing they could do was let her go in peace rather then stressing her and her boy more. They finally realized what they had all been putting her through.
I held my grams hand that night and all she whispered was 'thank you' as a tear streamed down her face. She held on until her other son could get there in the morning and died shortly after.
I think it's unfair to expect someone to endure feeding tubes, etc to try to keep them around longer for our benefit. It's painful to that person to be forced to hang on when they know it's time to go. Most are just waiting for someone to say I love you enough to let you go.
Obviously, if Gram is in otherwise good health and just started the non eating you can have her evaluated by a psychologist. If she's been ill and dealing with other health issues compassion may be the way to go.
2007-12-04 14:54:54 · answer #1 · answered by MISS H 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When they are on the downhill slope and not moving around much, they simply don't eat as much and they don't burn as much fuel by sleeping though the day.
From a spiritualist point of view, when they sleep most of the time, they are building their house on the other side.
If she is conscious and lucid you can't force anything on her.
Try fixing her very favorite foods.
Try something that is nutrient-dense and easy-to-eat.
Whipped cream with vanilla and a little sugar in it, or guacamole, or Ensure, or a home-made ice-cream milkshake.
Stragely enough... even a few sips of a top-shelf margarita might whet her appetite for something more nutritious.
2007-12-04 22:57:02 · answer #2 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's pretty common at the end stages of life to begin refusing food. You can't make her eat, and 'threatening her' to extend her life against her will is only going to add to her stress and possibly shorten her life anyway. When the body begins to shut down, digestion is not comfortable. People can will themselves to die pretty quickly when they give up. Please don't make it worse. Encourage her to eat in a loving way, make her last days a loving memory and not a power struggle. Sometimes people get old and tired and want to go. Let her have peace. Love her.
2007-12-04 22:40:43 · answer #3 · answered by Squirrley Temple 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you keep threatening your mother with IV feeding, the resulting stress won't bring her appetite back. Stop doing that and try to figure out what caused her appetite to disappear--is she under great stress, is she ill, is she depressed? Al these factors can contribute to her lack of appetite. Also, bear in mind that older people tend to have much smaller appetites and eat very little in general.
2007-12-04 22:39:21 · answer #4 · answered by BlackSea 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't force an IV feeding - sorry, that is illegal. Your mom knows her rights. IF you force her an IV feeding you could go to jail.
People are allowed to refuse medical treatment - that is their right. It sounds like your mom is ready to meet her maker. Let her go in peace - don't make life difficult for her. Her wishes must be respected - don't impose your own selfish wishes on her. You are being selfish because you don't want her to die because you aren't ready. Stop being a selfish b(*&ch.
2007-12-04 22:50:12 · answer #5 · answered by Dina K 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she knows that her time is limited on earth.I think they know when their time is up. Have you talked to her doctor?Maybe she finds certain foods harder to eat, the elderly need soft food or have you tried her on a liquid diet ?This comes from personal experience.
2007-12-04 22:39:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try getting her to drink flavors of Ensure.It has a lot of nutrients in it .Perhaps a milk - shake.Get her some Instant Breakfast drink.puddings and fruits.
2007-12-04 22:41:33 · answer #7 · answered by mamaw2305 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may have to let her worry about it. She may be giving up. Maybe she is tired. Don't threaten, talk to her about how she is feeling. You may want to talk to someone who specializes in Geriatric psycology.
2007-12-04 22:38:19 · answer #8 · answered by dmjrev 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pray for her that might change some things
2007-12-04 22:37:05 · answer #9 · answered by b b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think she needs your love. maybe she want s to attract your attention. show her your love and persuade her that you love her.
old people need more respectfulness and love. by this way they want to attract our attention
2007-12-05 04:35:35 · answer #10 · answered by ak k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋