Should I go?

Question

I am a young grandmother and my grandson will be turning one next month. My daughter is going to have him a baptism/birthday party. I am undecided if I want to go because I do not like her boyfriends family there has been conflict because they are a no good family they do illegal activities. My daughter is 15yrs younger then this guy and I wish she would open her eyes on that environment for her son. I am not in good standings with my daughter because I told her she needs to be responsible and she got upset and stopped talking to me....I have a 2 year old who would enjoy a day at a party,but I don't have the guts to show up...I am confused and I wish i could report this family for all the bad they do....

Answer 1

..... this situation is a catch 20/20 for you , i think you should go to the party to be there on behalf of your grandson , but try not to say anything to your daughter however strongly you feel about it because it will only drive her away from you . you do not have to support it at the same time ethier but just to let her know that you love her. She has to play this one out on her own to find out for herself..

Answer 2

You should try to contact your daughter and ask if you can go. This must be an extremely difficult situation. On one hand, you want to tell your daughter how her b/f is a waste of space so to speak, on the other you do not want to push her farther away. I would suggest asking for another chance. It is better to have her making mistakes when you are at least around to help her when it happens. Odds are if you continue to try to separate (or bad mouth) the b/f it is only going to make the two of them closer... and create a HUGE gap between you and her. Even if you have to suck it up and pretend, at least you'll know that when/if she ever needs you.... she will be able to turn to you. She is in a difficult situation as well, especially considering there's a baby involved.
1) If you are unable to get in touch with her before the party, I probably wouldn't go.
2) Keep trying... she is your daughter and worth EVERY amount of effort that it requires.
3) If all else fails and you have substantial evidence... go to the cops and turn the family in. But you must consider that your daughter may be involved in that type of activity too and when you turn them in odds are she will go down with them.
I hope this helped... if for no other reason than to give you other options in dealing with the situation.
I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide to do, it seems that you are a caring mother and it's sad that things have turned out this way.


Sorry, editing... I'm confused as to whether or not your daughter did infact invite you to the party? If she did.... pleeeeaaasssee go! This may be her way of reaching out to you. But when you go you have to keep your composure. Focus on your grandson and try not to bring up the "issues at hand". She will wise up to the fact that the b/f is a bad influence...eventually. You just have to be willing to wait. God Bless.

Answer 3

Hi! I would say go...because your daughter is not requesting you go for the boyfriends family...shes requesting you go for the children. Even though you do not agree with her decision for being with the boyfriend, it is still her decision, and the tough thing is, she needs your support. I know it's tough for you because it puts you in a situation you don't agree with or want to be in. But think of it this way....your there for the children. You can offer the children guidance love and support and can be a part of there lives.

Also, I would go because you never know how the relationship will work out in the future...so keep your friends close and your enemy's closer.

I wish you all the best!

Answer 4

you should go, it is your grandson no matter what is going on, you should be there for him. maybe if you show up that will show your daughter that you care and that you don't want her to be upset with you and then you can start mending the mother daughter relationship. and if you are worried about the well being of your grandson then you should go and see how the no good family interacts with the baby, and then see if you still want to report them.

Answer 5

You can report this family to the Department of Human Resources and you can do it anonymously. You should probably still try to keep your relationship with your daughter and grandson open, but with limitations and boundaries that your daughter is aware of. You can never get this time back and regrets are the worst.

Answer 6

I think U should go. Try to be civil & leave early if things start to turn bad. U might want to keep the lines of commuication open with your daughter. That way she would have a safe haven if she sees the light & wants to get out of this situation.

Answer 7

You should definately go. If the child is not in a positive environment with those people at least the child will be able to look up to you and have something positive. Unless they say no..you should go. Only for the grandchild no one else.

Answer 8

Try to get on good terms with your daughter again, because it sounds like your grandson could use a good influence such as you in his life.

Answer 9

It is kind of a hard decision to make but if I were you I would not go. You have to continue to impress upon your daughter you do not approve of the situation she is currently in.

You haven't said what kind of bad things the family is into..drugs or what? I am sure you do not wish to say on here.

You have my two bits worth but again I do not think you should go as it gives approval to your daughter and tears down any progress you may have made with her. You must stand your ground.

Answer 10

Yes you should go, it's your family and you know it's yours because it's your daughters child. You'll never have this opportunity with this baby again to celebrate with him. Work up your nerve spend a few hours there and then go home.