help me with this please i cant write poetry to save my live...?

Question

i met you one year ago
not knowing or caring who you were
and so the 4 months i should have spent with you went on... empty, blank
then fate gave us another chance
again i found you next to me
so i walked with you and i talked with you
and we started going out
and now as we walk hand in hand
i know deep down
there is no one else
its just you and me
and when blue meets brown
and we meet each others eye
i know it will always ge just us
you may never know how much to me
but know this and know it well...
i love you

Answer 1

i met you one year ago,
not knowing who you are,
and so the 4 months i should have spent with you,
went on so long,so far

then our fate,
gave us one more chance,
again i found you next to me,
and i loved at no more than a glance.

so i walked with you,
and i talked with you
and we started going out.

now we walk,
hand in hand,
and without you,
my life is bland

i know deep down,
no other person could be
there is no one else,
its just you and me.


when blue meets brown,
and we meet the others eye,
i know it will always be,
just you,
and just me,

you may never know ,
how much you mean to me,
but know this strong,
and know it clean


i love you

Answer 2

Very dark, but very well written. Unfortunately there are many people who, like you, have felt this way at one time or another. Most find their way out of the darkness into the light. The sun always rises. Death is a selfish cowardly solution. It may end the pain but leaves havoc in its wake. I wonder if you still feel the same way about the last two lines. What have you learned since then about persevering instead of quitting. This would make a much better ending.

Answer 3

a year ago,it was first first we met
not knowing who we were
and so the time we should have had ran past us in a blur,
but it seems that fate gave to us another chance to be...
Again I found you walking-walking next to me
so I talked with you, and slowly,I won your heart
and we started all over again...Hoping that we shall never to be apart.
So hear my words and know them to be true... tho' silences may come and go....Never for a moment doubt that I love you

Answer 4

That's VERY poetic! Poetry comes from the heart, and yours certainly did.

It's fine. Really. She isn't going to care about a few words here or there. It's your feeling and thoughts that clearly come through that make it poetic.

Answer 5

You've got a pretty good start with this poem--I would edit some things to make it sound better so, your life is saved becuase you can write poetry.

Answer 6

poetry is a symbol of self expression, so it doesn;t matter if it rhymes or not. if u say its a poem, its a poem. French fries have nothing to do with france, a hamburger has no ham in it, and picasso's 'Masterpieces' with geometric shapes are ugly as hell. its ur poem

Answer 7

Poetry is self expression. People write to express how deep they feel. Love is one of those feelings that you feel deeper than others. Write how you feel. Need ideas for love poems? Write what you see when you look at her/him, write how you feel when you see them, write what goes through your mind when you see them/when you're with them or hear them, write what happens to your body when you see them/when you're with them or hear them. But mainly, all you can do, is express yourself. If you think it's poetry - it's poetry. I, personally, like your poem. Who am I to say that your poem is bad? Who is anyone to say that you're poem is bad? If you like it, if who you wrote it for likes it, and if you're writing out of how deep of feelings you have - then good! Keep writing, though, and you'll always see imporvement. Good luck ;)

Answer 8

David---

Very wonderful shot at it, and why do you think that you can't write poetry?

The only thing I'd change, is that in your subject line, I think you meant to say "I can't write poetry to safe your life."

Answer 9

in that blank spot, put something about the horizon because the horizon is just an imaginary line in the distance that seems to move farther as you move closer.

Answer 10

AWWW that is so cute
and i couldent rightfully correct it becuz i think its really good and whoever the lucky girl is she'll like it better just from you!