I have been dating my girlfriend for 7 and half months. I told her I love her and I am in love with her. Last night she told me she loves me but is not in love with me. She doesnt know what it is. I am totally in love with her... have the feeling of butterflies and all but she said she doesnt have that butterfly feeling. She says she likes seeing me, being with me, and misses me when we are apart but their are times when she doesnt miss me and doesnt have the need or want to see me. She said shes trying but doesnt know what it is. she doesnt want to leave me but she doesnt want to hold onto me if she cant give me more. what should i do? what would u do? i dont want to walk away. I keep saying its only 7 months and for some people it takes them longer to fall in love.
2007-12-04 11:14:11 · 12 answers · asked by Siempre07 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
thank you for all ur responses. i am going to stick it out i think-- i love her a lot and shes worth the wait
2007-12-04 11:28:01 · update #1
ok now some of you are saying its best to walk away... guys ur killing me!!!
2007-12-04 11:29:12 · update #2
we will be having time apart this month and next. both going on vacation for 20 days
2007-12-04 11:31:57 · update #3
love is a strange thing...
no one can tell u what to do, mate! for one thing, no one can force himself/herself to fall in love...so ur gfr should not force herself to experience any feelings she is not experiencing bcoz that will ahve the opposite effect on her!
maybe u two need to go on as u are and see how it goes. this siutaiotn is not a white/black situaiton. she probably deos have deep feelings for u and is very fond of u...but maybe she will fall in love and maybe she won't. only time will tell.
it's too bad she doesn't feel as strongly about u as u feel twd her...but at least she is being honest to u and that is very important!
i say re-assess urselves, ur needs, and decide upon that what to do...only time can tell....
2007-12-04 11:20:24 · answer #1 · answered by saxoool 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your right when you say that it takes longer for some people to fall in love than others. I would tell my boyfriend the same things that I loved him but wasnt in love with him. My reason was that I have been in love before and I didnt feel the same feelings for my new boyfriend. Honestly, she cares for you, but it hasnt grown into the passtionate love you have for her. I know its only been 7 months and I think you should stick it out, but no for two long. If another 7 months goes by and still nothing...then move on. You cant force anybody to fall in love with you...and whats they point if they did?! Just give her some time and always have good communication with her. So far so good..she is revealing her real feelings and hopefully if she doesnt want a relatinship she will tell you. So my advice...give it a few more months...if not..then you know what to do.
2007-12-04 11:21:26 · answer #2 · answered by Nessah 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion you have to walk away. It's the only way to shake things up. If you don't do it, either you'll be stuck right where you are, or things will get worse. And don't hover; really walk away. Maybe come back to it in the future and explore the possibilities again. Who knows? You might have a chance after perspectives have changed.
2007-12-04 11:26:41 · answer #3 · answered by tizzoseddy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A break could do you some good. However, it took me a little longer than my boyfriend to fall in love. I loved him but I wasn't in love with him until around 2 months later. Give her time at least. She might not be in love with you now but maybe later.
2007-12-04 11:29:11 · answer #4 · answered by coolcatjg16 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The same thing happened to me, but it was my wife that said it. You can't make her be in love. It is one of the most efed up things I have ever had to hear, and swallow. Don't let pride get in the way. I had to walk away, and it hurt like no tomorrow. Time will heal.
2007-12-04 11:21:19 · answer #5 · answered by Scott M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're on the "really close guy friend" list now. When she meets other guys, she tells them that you two are very close. She's just shopping around for a new guy now. She'll make this permanent when she finds him. It happens to everyone. She isn't mean, just weak. Another guy will give her the strength to leave you.
2007-12-04 11:36:20 · answer #6 · answered by noshaymatall 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means she cares for you but she's not IN love with you.
Maybe she's hesitant to become too attached to someone. Sounds like an independant spirit to me.
2007-12-04 11:19:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take some time apart, give her time to REALLY miss you. If she does, the answer is obvious...if she doesn't, it's pretty obvious too.
2007-12-04 11:18:07 · answer #8 · answered by Tara M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try not to smother her too much..sounds like she needs a little growing up.
2007-12-04 11:18:43 · answer #9 · answered by wrathofkahn03 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is probably in love with someone else and maybe u should break up with her it ain't working out
2007-12-04 11:18:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋