I have two lovers. They are both far away from each other. One lives a reasonable distance from me, another far. The one who lives nearer is older and I met him a year ago. He wasn't really that serious but we enjoy each others company and have a good spark. But he made it quite clear at the begining he did not want a deep realtionship. He was still smarting from another relationship that had just ended.
The far away i know very little about his life away from me, and he comes to me at weekends now and then, we go out a little, but mostly we enjoy one another here at home. I have known him for 6 months. I thought the other man was not very into me. They are both extremely different in their approach to me and as people. I feel bad (and many of u say 'so you should') but it happened that way because all of us were indecisive. Now both want to be with me on a more serious level. I have never,ever, two timed, and suddenly I feel awful about it all. Has this ever happened to you?.
2007-12-04 08:45:56 · 14 answers · asked by dunwerse 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No and i dont think you should be doing what you are (not meaning that in nasty way) its just wrong leave one and sort yourself out before you really hurt them and lose both
2007-12-04 08:51:09 · answer #1 · answered by sweetness 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It happened to me once but i wasn't very interested in either guy so i just "dumped" them both.
But your situation is by far, very different. I have never seen a long distance relationship work out and i am the type of person who likes the other to be near.
My best advice is to simply do what your heart says. IT might take some time, but think it over.
2007-12-04 16:53:33 · answer #2 · answered by Angelita Amante 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well not not really. i have been in a long distance realtionship though and i can tell you right now it doesnt work out... the only reason in you cercumstance it is is because you have someone else as well... but like you said you are concerned about his life away from you... did you ever think that he may be doing the same??? it just simply does not work... i have tried this.... i would stay with the guy that you have been seeing that is closer to you .. and i would call it off with the other one... i know it is hard... BUT just think if you dont do it now later on down the road if you give up this other guy fro him... he may give up you for another girl.... so just take that into consideration... long distance relationships DO NOT work trust me!!!
2007-12-04 16:52:40 · answer #3 · answered by nessie86 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I can understand your situation, and I don't think you're a bad person as it wasn't your intent.
I would be more likely to lean toward the man who was closer. You know him better, and he doesn't just come to you on the weekends. I am somewhat suspicious of the man who is farther away because he doesn't take you out very often. Maybe he is not single, and doesn't want to get caught? But I'm a cynic...
Maybe you will have to make a list of each of their qualities and choose that way. Or maybe not choose either of them and continue as things are, I don't know. I would want to find out more about the man who lives further away.
2007-12-04 16:53:29 · answer #4 · answered by Kitten Toes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Were both aware that you were seeing other people? If not, it's time to come clean. If so, you have to decide if you want something serious with either man. And whatever you decide, be honest with both. Sure, someone may be hurt by your honesty, but I'd rather that type of hurt than the type caused by someone lying to me or playing me.
2007-12-04 16:51:16 · answer #5 · answered by Erin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep. Just recently. And you know what I did? I just let it be. Not necessarily 'two-timed' - as I refused to be in an official relatinsip with them because, like you, I'd never been in such a situation and didn't likethe thought of living that way. But yeah, I gave it time .. and it worked for me. Time showed me who I was meant to be with. I know that sounds extremely corny (LOL) but it's true. I figured I couldn't force myself to choose, otherwise if it turned out **** I'd regret not picking the other one.
Goodluck.
2007-12-04 16:53:17 · answer #6 · answered by Marigold. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, and slightly crazier things, too...
Tell you what: you're going to feel a lot saner once you either decide for one or the other, OR tell them that you're not exclusive. Having to watch what you say all the time is SUCH a pain in the a**, and they will probably find out sooner or later, anyway.
2007-12-04 16:54:40 · answer #7 · answered by Solstice 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I never cheated or 2 timed. But...I did have it happen to me..and I can tell U what it feels like. I know make it hard to let men into my heart muchless anywhere else.
U need to be true to yourself & them & make a choice. If neither means more to U or carries those future expectations that you require, then be fair & let them both go.
2007-12-04 22:04:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No sorry, it has never happened to me!! well you had a no strings attached relationship with both of them, they never talked about exclusivity, so nobody should judge you as you weren't unfaithful as the old man wasn't your bf!! Think about the situation, think if you are happy with the current situation, if you want to go to the next level and who with!! Good luck!
2007-12-04 17:00:26 · answer #9 · answered by Lola 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can understand you.. but the prediciment with me if any would be the guy farther away, i dont think my girlfriend is cheating though.. you should come clean with them and choose.
2007-12-04 16:54:10 · answer #10 · answered by Joel S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋