I have been trying to find some form of discipline for my daughter when she misbehaves but I don't think she understands the concept of timeout. Also, should I put her in timeout for a tantrum? (i.e stomping her feet, and screaming)
2007-12-04 08:37:59 · 7 answers · asked by Kimberly W 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Hello!
Sounds like you are questioning the value of "time out" for your toddler. My question is, "What is your parenting sales strategy?" Some parents say that time out gives them a break and an opportunity to revisit their own emotions before addressing their child, and this is very healthy. While this is a very popular approach I have found that very few toddlers are able to connect the outcome with the behavior. There are several schools of thought and knowing the longterm outcomes that matter in your home will be useful in finding your way. As a former preschool director I learned that matching the follow-up with the incident was most powerful. The children needed to learn how to interact in healthier ways.So when a child hurt another one I required them to participate in wiping the affected area, bringing a tissue for a tear or whatever the circumstance called for. Time out was not of value in the outcomes I was seeking. I was looking for longterm leadership in the form of team building and outcome resolution with the preschoolers themselves as facilitators. This philosophy enabled us to guide them in developing conflict resolution skills as oppose to us managing conflict for them.
When my own toddler had her one and only tantrum I had the benefit of over 12 years of working inside preschools and then in being a Pre-school and Family Life Coach helping families restore balance where other approaches had failed. So there we were in Chuckie Cheese's of all places and in an area that was very crowded, when an older boy bumped into her in haste and she fell down. So she spread herself flat out on the floor in front of everyone. Despite the noise in that place she was able to exceed the decibals by a long shot. After checking in on my own social embarrassment quotient, I was able to simply stand nearby making sure no one stepped on her. When she had had her fill, she got up and with a suprisingly calm disposition we were on our way. I was stunned that she got that Mom wasn't going to engage and neither was anybody else. Even though this is my field of expertise having children of my own is another thing entirely. So while she has experienced disapointment since, she has not repeated this same tactic. I do hope this helps. I would so enjoy hearing how you find resolution. I wonder why more people don't share their outcomes on this forum.
Adelaide Zindler, FP (a Fearless Parent)
http://www.FearlessParenting.com
2007-12-04 10:41:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I do not think it is too early for timeout. I used to put my daughter in timeout at that age... if she throws tantrums for not getting what she wants, etc. then she understands why and what she is doing, so she should understand being punished for it. You will probably have to either put her in her playpen without any toys or strap her into her highchair so that she will not move. As a general rule for timeout I have always heard one minute for every year of age, so of course you would only do it for one minute. Hope this helps.
2007-12-04 10:30:02 · answer #2 · answered by Whitney 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
20 months is not too young. I put my 17 mo. olds in their highchairs if I have to. At least I know they can't get out and they are safe. They may not understand exactly why they are there, but I won't let bad behaviour continue.
Praise and rewards for good behaviour is great, but sometimes they are just little stinkers and need to be dealt with!
I wouldn't put her in timeout for tantrums, I would just let her have the tantrum and be sure she can't hurt herself. Most tantrums come from frustration. Absolutely do not reward the tantrum.
2007-12-04 09:18:58 · answer #3 · answered by forever5 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I put my daughter in timeouts when she was 20 months, for 1 minute.
2007-12-04 08:45:06 · answer #4 · answered by Melissa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not too young! BUT a 20mth old can't sit still for long, so picking her up and sitting her on the couch for a minute is long enough. (The general time-out suggestion is one minute for each year of age.)
Just make sure you firmly and consistently explain, in simple terms, why she is in trouble. She will realize quickly that time-out is a negative consequence for specific actions, and that she doesn't like it.
2007-12-04 13:52:21 · answer #5 · answered by Chelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can do it for a very short period of time. You may have to sit there with her in order for her to understand she can't leave that spot. Good luck!
2007-12-04 08:46:47 · answer #6 · answered by ♥ тнє σяιgιиαℓ gιяℓfяι∂αу ♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried any positive methods, like educating your child on good behavior, rewarding good behavior, praise and showing her by your example?
I'd give those a try before resorting to a knee-jerk punishment regimen.
2007-12-04 08:48:15 · answer #7 · answered by Level 7 is Best 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋