What do you do when someone you care about tried to commit suicide?

Answer 1

I have very little patience with suicides and those who threaten to do it...take your friend to a hospital and visit some people who are really terminally ill; take your friend to the children's ward where little kids are really dying from various terminal diseases and then ask your friend if they really want to throw away the most important gift we possess.
Suicide is not a do-over, it is permanent...

EDIT: Tallwillow, I am very aware of depression hav ing suffered from it in recent years and having attempted suicide myself, and I am entitled to my opinion based on my own life experiences and I say again, depression and suicidal people need to be taken out of themselves a little and see real suffering; it isn't a question of making them feel guilt, it is a question of showing them how real people who really are dying feel about death.
I felt sorry for myself when I was undergoing radiation for my cancer and the first time in the room I saw little stuffed animals all over the walls and found out kids as young as two and three had to be strapped to that table left alone while receiving their treatments; and while I was waiting to go in for mine I sat next to a couple; she had throat cancer and he had inoperable brain cancer...so I know all about depression and feeling sorry for oneself. I reiterate; when you see other people suffering it takes you out of yourself.
And never assume to understand another person's POV until you ask.
TALLWILLOW: OK, I will stop this useless exchange by stating that you have your OPINION and I have MY EXPERIENCE; and my experience proved to ME that when you think about others you have less time to spend obsessing about yourself...and since I already tried to explain the fact that I also considered suicide, I do have a little understanding of the subject...we agree to disagree. It seems to be very important to you to be correct and try to prove me wrong so...enjoy! Have a great night.

Answer 2

That's...a tough question. On one hand, the person is feeling incredibly vulnerable and is hurting--the last thing you want to do is make them feel guilty. On the other hand, suicide is the ultimate selfish act, so it's normal for you, as someone who cares about this person, to feel angry and hurt about it.

From my own experience, I feel that you should let him (I'm using the masculine to avoid the him/her tedium) know you care, that you will be there for him if he needs to talk. Then follow through on it. But don't walk on eggshells around him. When he's more emotionally stable, tell him that what he tried to do really hurt you, that he means a lot to you and your life would never be the same without him. Tell him that there's nothing worth killing himself over and that he has people who love him and will help him. If depression was the cause of the attempt, make sure he takes his medication every day. It is a valid disorder.

Edited to add: I believe I should point out that I am a survivor of suicide and have the scars to prove it. The suggestions above were employed by my parents and helped me through.

Answer 3

Just be there. Don't yell at them or try to remind them of who they would hurt if they died or anything like that. More guilt will just make them feel even worse right now. The WORSE thing you can do is try to tell them how many people have it worse than them, unless you want to push them right in to trying to kill themselves again. If they start talking about reasons why they want to die, let them know you want to help them come up with solutions. Don't be a cheerleader, but don't tip toe around them or do that scanning thing people do where you try to surreptitiously watch their every reaction to gage all of their reactions. Be the same friend you've always been, they don't need you getting weird on them.

Answer 4

Treat her/him like you would anyone else who is seriously ill. S/he has a disease called depression. Many times it's treated like a character flaw, but it's not: it's a serious illness.

Be there for her/him. Your simple presence can be more helpful than anything you could say--and YOU cannot solve the problem.

Ask if there's anything you can do. S/he may need help with her/his recovery, and it could be as simple as help getting to appointments or the drug- or grocery store.

Let her/him know you care about her/him.

Above all, remember that attempting suicide is a symptom of an illness. It's no one's fault and no one should feel guilty (you or the survivor.) There are many groups that offer support and information for people with depression and those who care about them. In the US, two good ones are the National Alliance on Mental Illness (http://www.nami.org/) and the Depression & BiPolar Support Alliance (http://www.dbsalliance.org/)

Thisisme, you apparently don't understand depression at all; it IS a life-threatening illness. As several others have pointed out, added guilt will NOT help. It will only hurt her/him--if s/he doesn't write you off altogether as a friend.

Edit: Thisisme, you may be AWARE of depression, but your answer demonstrates that you don’t UNDERSTAND it, even if you suffered it yourself. I’m not assuming anything about your POV, just responding to your statements. There is a big difference between just “feeling sorry for myself” and the disease of depression. Equating the two shows your lack of understanding. Clinically depressed and/or suicidal people ARE experiencing “real suffering.” “Showing them how real people who really are dying feel about death” is very unlikely to be helpful, to put it mildly.

Answer 5

Be there for support to help them get over the crisis they are facing. Suicide is a permanent solution to a tempoary problem. As a friend what you need to do is be there to listen to them. You might consider going with them to a counselor who might be able to help them through the tough times they are going through. The key issue is just to be there for support!

Answer 6

Never leave their side.
Get them help (counselling) & let them talk
Encourage them & let them know they are loved and needed.

I attempted suicide when I was 17, it was not a pretty picture, lucky for me, I survived and I've since learned many things from that experience. It was a hard lesson learned and I would never suggest that anyone go that route. It was my desperate cry for help when I felt no one was listening....

Answer 7

Their life is in danger. Do what you would do in any such situation -- get them to the hospital. They need serious medical help. Be their supportive friend.

Answer 8

Say you are very sorry to hear about their unhappiness, and you are available to talk if they need someone. And that your happy that they are here with you today. There isnt alot else you can say.

Answer 9

Turn them in to a mental hospital in order to keep them alive. To many people ignore it and then the person one day succeeds. I think it is a very selfish act. Sure it ends the pain for them, but leave so much pain for the people they leave behind.

Answer 10

I'd be thankful that they are still alive and talk to them and find out why they wanted to take their own life.