IS it best to give them space and let them come to you whne they're ready? he says i'm his rock and all and then he pulls away and shuts me out. should i let him come to me when hes READY? AM I JUST BEING STUPID. he says he has more respect for me and that if there was someone else he would tell me and i really have no reason to think otherwise. he is not a dog and i have never been given a reason not to trust him. could he just need space and he's pulling away like guys sometimes do? we go through this occasionally and it ***** me up every time. i call it the fishing game and its when i get to o close he casts me back out to sea again and when i get too far away...thats when he realizes i might just leave and he reels me back in. wht do i do? is this **** normal?
2007-12-04 08:21:59 · 14 answers · asked by LMD 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
HE ALSO SAY THAT I NEED TO STOP BEING SO INSECURE SO DOES THAT CHANGE THINGS?
2007-12-04 08:39:08 · update #1
I did the same thing with my girlfriend.....idk why. I felt bipolar sometimes.....its not your fault at all. He might be afraid of commitment... i was....i didnt want to be held down..its a guy thing lol. but he might be nervous or not quite comfortable with being so close to you.......i dont wanna throw out crazy answers....but he could be considering his sexuality...i know i was...he could just have a ton of stuff on his mind...work friends family school.....they can all add up to where you need to go away and leave it all alone.....think things over with yourself....but isolating yourself without losing anything never works....hell learn.
2007-12-04 08:33:28 · answer #1 · answered by beandestroyer 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's afraid of the closeness. I'm not sure if he'll ever get over this. Often times these things have to do with deep seated emotional issues left over from childhood and won't be healed by a few words. Some people can overcome these things but others just can't seem to break through their own wall. If this frustrates you too much you'll have to leave at some point.
2007-12-04 08:29:47 · answer #2 · answered by LG 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it's best if you give him the space, because the more you want to get close to him, the more he will pull away from you. If he comes to his senses and realizes what a great person you are, then he will come back and wants to be with you. If he doesnt realize that, then I would say: move on! NEXT!
It happened to me before, so I can totally understand what you're going thru right now. But like I said, if he comes to his senses, he will show you, that he cares about you. Til then: there are other fishes out there. :)
2007-12-04 08:27:02 · answer #3 · answered by tramimaus 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ok it sounds to me like you are being a little too aggressive and that you need to slow down and talk to him ask him if he thinks that you are being this way and if he rather take it slow for awhile because that is the classic case of hey babe slow down we do not have to be on top of each other all the time to know that we are together and that we love each other good luck but remember even though hard at times the best thing to do is talk to him
2007-12-04 08:26:39 · answer #4 · answered by Lady 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He might just have a lot on his mind and need his space once in a while, or he could be cheating on you or something bad, but before you think anything is up, TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT. Tell him how you feel about all of this and if he doesnt understand, he isnt worth it.
2007-12-04 08:30:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships are difficult and if someone does not respect you and fails to honour your needs, then that relationship is failing. If you choose to be disrespected and do not do anything positive then you deserve to be treated badly.
He has set a routine of behaviour and you are acting like a kicked puppy!
Most men when they do have problems internalise the problem and tend to be distant and quiet. Women are far nosier than that.!
2007-12-04 08:29:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He fears commitment or he's using you. He is someone who is not very practical in his thinking and leans more on emotions to make decisions. Emotional people find it difficult to make long lasting decisions out of fear. They cannot think as clearly as a practical person and in some cases have no faith in their ability to decide. They tend to go with flow, they may not have strong values or virtues. They are also not going to change quickly. It takes years for them to learn what others know in months. If you care for him and can tolerate this type of behavior, then play the game with him. If not, you know what you need to do.
Yoda out
2007-12-04 08:28:16 · answer #7 · answered by Yoda 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was dating this guy for over a 1yr and he use 2 day the same thing. If you gut tells you something is wrong, then it is. Just yesterday he called and told me that I was rite all along. He has meet someone else and loves her. So, don't just sit back and wait for him to make up his mind. You will b devasted when he tells you that he seeing someone else.
2007-12-04 08:26:53 · answer #8 · answered by Hotgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's just telling you what you want to hear and there is prolly someone else...i would leave and if he really wants you he will come get you and if he doesnt then you have your answer....no thats not normal...my fiance has never done that and none of my girlfriends have had anything like that with their men...walk away sweetheart and see what happends
2007-12-04 08:26:44 · answer #9 · answered by Brittany 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
always leave him wanting more.
and yes - go on about your life - he is not your life, but part of it. if he needs ot be away, let him be away, and act like you don't notice (until such time as your life is full enough that you really don't notice). It's a healthier than being clingy and up his butt all the time.
2007-12-04 08:32:27 · answer #10 · answered by China J 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋