Why is it so hard for teens to get along with their parents?

Question

I just am so confused by this. One minute me and my parents are laughing and joking around and then the next I feel ganged up on and I did something wrong again. why do teens and parents generally don't get along?

Answer 1

The real reason is because teenagers are struggling to grow up and be considered an adult. Their parents represent their childhood which is what teens are trying to get away from. So teens become defensive when their parents try to help them avoid and solve problems. They look at it as if their parents are treating them like children and trying to control them when in their minds they are grown adults. Some kids and their parents don't have problems which is great. But I think the majority do go throught the power struggle of adulthood. When dealing with your parents try to remain calm and speak with them maturely. That means no whining or yelling. When they see that you handle yourself maturely they will begin to treat you more and more as an adult. When you feel you are getting the respect that they would give an adult then you will see them less as a threat to your adulthood and will in turn treat them with more respect. Just remember no matter how intense disagreements get, your parents love you very much and are only trying to do what they believe is best for you. There is no secret plot from them to make your life more difficult. But they have seen many things in their life and can share with you facts on how they avoided difficulties or dealt with them when they came. In the long run they can save you from a lot of hearache and problems if you give them the opportunity. Good luck to you and it sounds like you already have a pretty good relationship with your parents. Just be patient, things always get better.

Answer 2

Anyway, disregarding your first answer!! :)
Ahh, I never got along with my parents until I moved away. Literally, never. And now I understand why they were the way they were, and why I couldn't always have my own way. My dad was overly-protective. I couldn't go to school dances, boys couldn't call my house, etc. I always had an early curfew. Plennnty more.
I've grown up pretty quick for my age, I'm only 20.. But, I've always had friends a bit older than me.. some of which have children of their own. When you're around parents and their children, you grow to care for those children like your own. I find myself saying no to my friends little girls quite often.. they can't always have their own way, and you can bet your *** they're not going to be happy about it.
I'll stop rambling on.. but when it all comes down to it, the reason parents and their children don't get along most times, is because the child wants something that the parents isn't willing to give, or let happen.. and the reason behind it is because they don't want to see you hurt.. and as much as you think it's not going to hurt you, and argue as much as you want, you will realize once you're older, that they were right, and they only did it out of love and because they care what happens to you!!

Answer 3

girl, it just the way of life, just think about it like this sometime teens do things wrong and parents feel that you should know better then that, and at other time parents are the ones that are wrong and take it out on there kids.
Just enjoy the good time that you have with your parents and understand that parents are not always perfect.

Answer 4

Teens are figuring out who they are and finding their place in the world, and sometimes their desires and actions do not coincide with the wishes of their parents. Parents have to play the dual role of friend and authority figure, and it's a tough walk. Ultimately, they must choose authority over friendship sometimes when they are keeping their child's safety and well being in mind... and sometimes that can be upsetting to a teen.

And sometimes parents are unreasonable. And sometimes teens are unreasonable, too. But mostly it is a natural struggle as teens become adults and pass through an awkward period where their parents must continue to look after them, both ethically and legally.

Answer 5

its called teen angst. you tend to feel as if noone understands you, when in fact, they understand all too well...they have been there, done that, bought the tshirt and put it away in a keep sake box, ya dig? I am only 25 but because I am a young parent, I have finally realized this. Your parents seem to be getting on to you over something you feel is insignificant or none of their business, but the underlying reason is your parents care, they know more than you think about what you are and are not doing because they are full aware of the signs to ook for. I have been a mentor of sorts, and even I can spot signs of a promiscuous teen who puts on a good sweet innocent front, I can spot the signs of potential drug users, the signs of a bad boyfriend or group of friends you need to drop..I am going on and on here, but I seriously practice the talks I will have with my kids, and fret bout them thinking I am "ganging up" on them, how it will strain our relationship because they dont understand, and how I will cope with that part of it to ensure thier safe passage...I didnt have the greatest childhood, so every aspect of parenting is a big deal to me and I over analyze everything to prepare myself...did I mention my kids are only 6 and 3?

to sum it up, if teens would get over themselves and look at the bigger picture, they would get along just fine with thier parents...If they would not blow off thier parents advice, scoff, huff and stomp, all would be well on the home front...

Answer 6

Parents want to look after you and control you and as teens you have become old enough to make your own opinions and decisions (even though they are not always right) but that's how people learn by making mistakes. Parents don't want them to make those mistakes though. They also demand respect and things like to come home by a certain time and such when you might have actually grown out of that, it causes arguments especially if you are a girl and you wish to get a boyfriend parents never agree they want you to be their little girl forever.

Answer 7

As a former teen, I learned that because at this age of development, we are searching for our own identity. And since our parents have been there/ done that basically, some parents will criticize in a negative way to certain things.

Answer 8

mainly because teens feel as if they can handle everything on their own. They believe they have lived long enough to know whats right and wrong and everything in between. Parents however, know that you can't possibly know everything because they don't and they have lived awhile longer then their teen. Listen to your parents they know a lot; they have been through the same stuff you have they know the consequences, be open with them, learn to appreciate them.

Answer 9

Listen, I am going to tell you that your parents love you deeply and that when that happens, and although you may have not done anything in particular at that time, they are probably tired of telling you 1000 times to do something and /or stop doing something. It is the way it goes. But, let me say this, you need to be respectcul to your family no matter. Smart mouths and disrespect are not going to win any arguments. Do be kind and considerate and I guarantee things will go more in your favor. And do what you are told when you are told.

Answer 10

Teenagehood is a difficult time for parents and for kids. You are changing from their little girl or boy into an adult. It is new territory for you both and will take some getting used too.

Trust me, it won't last forever. The main thing is to have a good communication between the two of you.