This past weekend I suggested we visit my fiancé's sister who's living in another state. We decided to leave a day early because there was a snow storm coming and we had to drive home. The next day she sent my fiancé a scathing email accusing us of being too good for their hospitality. Even worse, she insinuated that I control him and that he has completely changed since we've been together! This came as a complete shock to me because it's totally untrue and I never realized until now that she hates me!
My fiancé and I are both totally hurt by her comments. Since the holidays are coming up, I'm going to have to face her in a couple of weeks and I don't know what to say. On top of that I asked her to be my bridesmaid for our upcoming wedding. Has anyone ever had a situation like this? I want to let her know that it's wrong of her to try to damage my relationship with my fiancé and his family, but I don't want to add fuel to her fire either. What should I do? Please help!
2007-12-04 07:28:06 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
What?! Another sister-in-law from hell? It can't be real! Sorry, but your fiance's sister sounds just like my atrocious SIL. Jealousy from a troublemaker, that's what it is. Try to always be the better person. If she can't be civil and mature, you show her how to be gracious and never stoop to her level. Talk to her (make sure your fiance is present so you don't give her a chance to misconstrue what you say) and tell her how bad you feel about the "misunderstanding". Tell her it's important for you to get along with the sister of the person you love the most, and whom you're about to marry; and let her know that if you had anything against her, you wouldn't have made the decision to have her as bridesmaid at your wedding. She's probably a selfish, egotistical, self-centered, rude brat, but she IS your future husband's sister, so I think you should try to ignore her ignorance, rudeness, and lack of manners, and try to work it out so hat she doesn't feel threatened by you.
2007-12-04 07:47:46 · answer #1 · answered by MiaMonique 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think you will like my answer but ill say it any ways.
first off your boyfreind has changed since he has been with you the reason i know this is that no matter how much we say we will never change for any one else we do it every time that we get into a new relationship. the reason neither of you have noticed it is because love is blind you wont see it until you get married and settle down for a while and then you will both start to see how much difrent your lives are. you will notice the little things that you changed about yourself to make him more happy and he will do the same. some times this will cause issues in a mariage (i know it did in mine) but thats apart of the whole deal you work throught it. thats why people say that the first few years are so hard. so from the outside looking in its easier to see these changes espacialy if they dont see each other on a regular basis.
now to answer the other part of the question is very dificult because if they are close wichi will assume they are if she is being this judgementle of you then it could be that she is just jealose of you.what i mean is she has a picture in her head that she has more than likely had for a long time of the woman she exspects her brother to be with its similare to a little girl with a prince charming fantise and she is going to judge you subcontiously against those standerds she has already had set for him. ofcoures you wont meet those standards no woman ever will in her eyes. what i would recomend is that you talk to you boyfreind and tell him how you feel about what she said about you. then i would have him talk to her and let him try to smooth things over before the holidays. after that when you see her at your family gathering you should appologize for how she felt. let her know that you didnt mean to seem to good for her hospitality and let her know that you are not trying to hurt her relationship with her brother. reassure her of the fact that you are in love with her brother and not just along for the ride.
and if that dont work then atleast you know you did all you could and you still have your integrity
sorry for the spelling
2007-12-04 08:19:35 · answer #2 · answered by teri b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it would sort of madden me as well if my brother's girlfriend is magically knocked up before marriage and then you decide to get married. You really can't blame her. She probably feels that you're also taking her brother from her. Another thing, you might want to get a paternity test after the baby is born. Other than that, don't let this get to Maury Povovich.
2016-05-28 04:20:50 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you feel her stating her opinion is damaging your relationship? Maybe she has seen a change in her brother since he's been with you that she doesn't like! Maybe she does feel that you control him. You don't see things from her point of view!! Don't put him in the middle, YOU talk to her and see if she will tell you why she feels the way she does. Try and get things worked out. Just because she thinks the things she does, doesn't mean she hates you! Quit being so emotional about it and try to make it right between you two!
2007-12-04 07:35:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well....it seems to be an interesting situation. I'm sorry you have to put up with all of that. I t must be crazy. I just have a couple questions. How old is his sister? Does she have relationship problems? I'm thinking she may just be jealous of her brother doing well and not herself. Did you and your fiance have to sort of break apart from your families in order to start your own life? She may just be simply jealous. I would just be pleasant to her but you don't have to treat her like a queen to get ther to like you. I would just suggest not doing anything to annoy her esp. with the family.
2007-12-04 07:35:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
here's how i'd handle.
I'd tell her privately the next time you see her; "obviously you have a problem with me, and I'm sorry you feel that way. But I love your brother and I plan to marry him. I invited you to be a bridesmaid out of friendship and kindness, and since your feelings for me are not those of friendship and kindness, I am taking back my invitation for you to stand next to me in my wedding party. I am not particuarly interested in how you feel about me. Just know that your brother and I are going to be together and I am going to love him. Deal with it your own way, but I'd apreciate your attitude of me to be kept to yourself. I do not deserve your actions toward me and further more, I would never disrespect you in that fashion. So show some respect, if not for me, for your brother."
2007-12-04 07:38:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What i would do and this might sound completely retarted but i don't care, I would keep being nice to her, act like it don't bother me because if you act like it bothers you they get a little satisfaction out of it.. just go and have fun and ignore all that you two know its wrong so why worry?
2007-12-04 07:33:15 · answer #7 · answered by sk8tergurl94 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of people have family issues, my hubbies sister is a tottly boitch but i dont let that get to me, why dont you try talking with her ask her why do you feel this way, lets get alonge where family ! its ok :)) ! be happy Dont be sad !
Happy Holiday's http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AhVVk1YAPkOiYs3EWl.e5cPsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071203230014AAgNM8N
2007-12-04 07:33:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you seem like a reall good person,obviously theres something wrong with his siter,so i say marry him & F that B****.she has NO right to treat you like that.
2007-12-04 07:32:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Start saving for a divorce! haha
2007-12-04 07:31:51 · answer #10 · answered by Sherbert 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋