17 with 2 kids but....?

Question

wat do most people have against young mothers like myself?
i have a 3 week old n a 2 nearly 3 year old.
they are both with the same person n we r due to be wed b next year in march
plz tell me because i am sick of being bad mouthed.
thanx
x

Answer 1

I'm 28 with three kids and I can tell you that I understand how difficult life can be. I am currently trying to go to college and it's finals week and all my kids got sick at once. If you have a good support system it isn't so bad, but once you lose that support system it is almost impossible.
I'm proud of you for doing what you are doing, but many moms your age just don't even try. Unfortunately they give moms like you a bad rep. Good luck.

Answer 2

Don't take it personnaly, think the other answers sum up quite well what people think...Living on benefits, different dads, no education and ruining their life.... But not all teenage ums are the same. I do however believe that 14,15,16 etc is still too young to have sex and have kids (which means that most of the time it's unsafe sex). You should really just be getting an education so that you can make choices for yourself and build your life before building someone else's life.
You seem to be coping well and to love the father of your children which is good but at 17, I thought I was with the man of my dreams and couldn't imagine us apart! I'm now 27, just got a house with my partner of 3 and a half year and a baby on the way. I just hope you can still achieve what you want in your life. Do go to college if that's what you want as there are lots of help available to you and best of luck.Congrats on the wedding too (you see, I'll have my child out of wedlocks too and am not 17!!!!).
X

Answer 3

i think part of it is the statistics and bad stigma that young parents have gotten. And the fact that a lot of teen moms aren't as responsible or do as well. I don't think it is fair to judge but I know many do. That plus unfortunately, teen moms as a whole good and bad are considered a statistic in itself. I know I am pregnant now a 22 and people look at me like I am young. When I was like 12-18 I wanted to have a baby, and now that I am older I can't imagine have becoming a mom that young and all that I would have missed out on. However to each its own, I think part of the stigma comes from the parents, that have children but still want to enjoy their youth, and go out, but they gave that up when they became parents.

And most young men simply aren't mature enough for the responsibility.

Plus some are just too young, I went to school with girl in the 8th grade that where pregnant, they weren't even old enough to work yet. Which automatically is a negative and caring and being responsible for a child.

Answer 4

I was the same way. I had two kids by the time I graduated from high school and I got talked about too. But if you listen to everything people say then you will not be able to enjoy what is important to you the most and that is those little ones you have. Yes at times it will be hard but you have someone there to help you so don't worry.Just remember that you have to show them just because you are young and have kids; you are still the same person inside and out. If they keep on tell them to bug off this is your life not theirs.

Answer 5

First of all, congratulations. You have accomplished more than some older women have, I hope everything works out for you. To answer your question, I don't think that people personally have something against you, it's just that most people feel that young women aren't capable of being good mothers. Have you ever heard of the saying "babies having babies"? It's really people wonder how you can raise a child when you are still a child yourself. I'm 25 with one child and I receive dirty looks from people. I also give dirty looks for various reasons. But I have come to realize that age doesn't determine the quality of your parenting skills. Good and bad mothers come in all ages.

Answer 6

I guess it is because most people believe that a teenager becoming a mother is ruining her life. They believe that you should wait to have sex until marriage and that is discriminating because not all unwed pregnant teens will become deadbeats and leech off the government. Obviously you are not and if you are in a stable relationship and can afford a place to live and eat and buy things for the children then you are a lot better than many people.

Some girls get pregnant and their boyfriends leave them and I guess that is a big stereotype. When people think of a teenage girl being pregnant they see her quitting school and not doing anything with their life.

Good Luck to you!

Answer 7

Hi, I'm Laura. I'm 18 and a mommy, too. My little boy is almost 9 months old. I got pregnant my senior year of high school from my boyfriend of 3 years. We loved each other so much and I really thought we'd be together forever. Now we've broken up, we're both taking responsibility for our son but now that I've started working full time I understand what you mean about people giving us dirty looks. Young mothers are looked down upon because everyone thinks we must be sluts to have children at such a young age. To be honest with you, my son's father was the man I lost my virginity and the only man I've ever been with sexually, but other people don't know that about me, so they judge me. It's going to be the same everywhere for the rest of my life. But I'm happy with who I am and I know that I'm a good person. Be happy you still have a good relationship with your babies' father and enjoy every moment to the max. It'll be hard for me to find someone who takes me seriously and who can sincerely love my son and me BOTH fully and completely. But anyway, good luck to you and try not to give too much importance to what other people say or think about you. Everything'll be all right in the end because you're happy with your life and that's what counts. Good luck to you, your fiancee, and your children!

Much love from fellow mommy, Laura

Answer 8

Let me say as a young mother it isn't only here that you get **** it is everywhere. And I think it is wrong.... Are you doing well for yourself? Did you graduate, are you getting an education? Are your children happy, do you have a job are you supporting them? That is what matters, I know so real shitty parents who are 30+ and I know I am damn good mother of 2 at the age of 23. I wish everyone else would grow the hell up. If you are doing everything to the best of your ability and your kids are happy and you are happy that is all that matters. not any of that other ****.

Answer 9

I think most people just don't think young people are mature enough financially and emotionally to have children. I had my son when I was young (but I was married) and I got tons of dirty looks. You have to get over it and just focus on being a good mother. Some young women are good mothers and some are not. Some older women are good mothers and some are not. Age is not the only factor in what makes a good mother. Try not to worry about other people so much and just enjoy your children.

Answer 10

I don't think people have anything AGAINST you per say. People probably just look at the situation and think your a little young to have 2 kids! Most people have not even finished high school by 17. I'm not trying to judge you but it's just the first thing that comes to mind when I think 17.