Before you had children, did you like kids or dislike them and plan on never having them. I'm 23 weeks with my first baby. I'm not particulary a kid person. I don't really like them very much and really wasn't sure if I wanted them. But...nature had other plans and now I'm expecting one. I know I'm going to get bashed by others fot this question, but I can't help how I feel. I'm looking for answers from parents who didn't want kids or didn't like them who have ended up having them. What was your experience throughout pregnancy and bringing them home and raising them? I know I'll love my child no matter what but I'm wondering if my view will change of other people's children.
2007-12-04 07:13:46 · 15 answers · asked by emmy 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I'm not saying I absolutely hate children. I have very much compassion for children who grow up in abusive and dysfunctional homes. I know my husband (he loves children) and I have what it takes to be very good parents.(Both of us come from good homes where his parents have been married for 40 years and mine just celebrated their 30th anniversary) I just get a little scared from time to time that I'll have a hard tme getting over my selfishness.
But thank you all for your honest answers!
2007-12-04 07:55:37 · update #1
I must say that both of us are the youngest and have been pretty spoiled by our parents. Maybe I should be more worried about us over spoiling our little girl!
2007-12-04 07:57:40 · update #2
My sisters and brothers had kids long before I did. I was the fun aunt. When they were older I enjoyed taking them out. Even though I loved being with them when they came to visit, I never sought out babysitting opportunities or anything like that. I really treasured my free time and was definitely not someone who would stop and coo over a baby or anything like that.
When I became pregnant, I panicked and thought that I needed to love kids and babies more in order to have my own. I had to admit that very often, I considered babies and kids, well cute....but boring....I felt guilty saying that but it was true. When I confided this to close friends, everyone said the same thing. It's different when they are your own. And do you know what? For the first time ever, everyone was right!
I fell in love with my kids the moment I laid eyes on them. I don't think you have to decide to love them -- you just can't help it. Yes, they're a lot of work, but it's the kind of work that you'll look back on and appreciate having done it. My diaper days are gone now, but I look back on them with fondness....I never thought I would know what to do with tiny infants (and mine were 4 1/2 pounds each!), but I was shocked at how every detail about them was fascinating (well, to my husband and me anyway!). Their hair, their fingernails , the way they moved their arms, anything and everything! I never could have imagined falling so head over heels like this when I was pregnant.
So take heart and don't worry. It's a hard job and I love it completely. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Congratulations, and take lots of deep breaths. And please don't worry if you don't feel as excited as everyone around you. That's normal.
2007-12-04 08:08:13 · answer #1 · answered by Liza 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd definitely say the answer for me is yes, I do feel very reluctant to play with kids or babies in public, more specifically girls. For example one time a little girl at the playground was asking me a lot of questions as I walked by and trying to play with me but I just walked by and while I briefly acknowledged her I just kind of ignored here so that I'm not sitting there talking with a random little girl. I believe that a lot of women would think of me as some sort of creep if I were to sit there are talk/play with the girl so I was reluctant to and ultimately did not. I think the same cannot be said about women however where in a situation where a strange woman were to approach a young boy she would have no feelings of hesitation when approaching. I thought about it the day it happened and it seems unfair to me. While maybe not all men have had that same feeling that I did, I doubt I am alone in thinking this.
2016-05-28 04:19:01 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son was raised by my parents. I got pregnant at an early age by a boyfriend who took off .. my son has never met my father. I regret every single day of my life not raising my son. He knows that I am his mother but that just isn't the same as actually being with him every day. Having a child will change you to your very core...trust me! And, if for some reason it doesn't, don't take it out on the child. Give the child up for adoption or to someone whom you know will care for him. I am not bashing you .. so please don't take it that way. My husband's sister does not like children (I have actually seen her be horribly rude to the most adorable children). I used to think she was selfish but I realized that if she really doesn't like children .. she shouldn't have them. It not fair to her or the child. I have a feeling though that your own child will change your mind ... just from you saying, "I know I'll love my child no matter what..." Shows compassion right there!
2007-12-04 07:33:32 · answer #3 · answered by MiMi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never particularly liked children even when I was one! Babies I like, I have a 6-year-old and one on the way. I'm not a very mumsy person, and I could never be a child minder or teacher because I just don't particularly like other people's kids - I can't relate to them or talk to them very well - but my own kids is different. I can handle having one or two over for tea, I'm dreading the teenage years because I can't stand teenagers. Don't worry, you'll love your kids and be a good mum, but it doesn't mean you're going to go all soppy over kids in general! You may just become a little more tolerant of them though.
2007-12-04 08:28:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Interesting question. I can't really answer your question yet, because I'm not a parent yet! But I wanted to share my story... I'm 27 years old now. For the first 25 years of my life I was so NOT a kid person - I hate them, didn' t like them, and was pretty much scared of them lol But two years ago my hubby went down south to help with the Hurricane Katrina clean up and he was down there for months. I can't explain it, but having him gone so long soooo started the biological clock for me! Now I want a baby so bad. We've been trying for two years now with no luck :( But it'll be worth it when it happens I'm sure!
So anyway, I'll be interested in hearing what others answer.
Congrats on your pregnancy! :) I'm sure you'll be a wonderful mom!
2007-12-04 07:19:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Before I had my son, I wasnt really a kid person. The good part was any of my friends that had kids I could just pass them back when they started crying or I got sick of them.
Once I found out that I was pregnant with my son, I sort of realized that I had to grow up and that I had no option now.
When he was born the minute I saw him I loved him to death, and even now when I have to get up at 4 in the morning with him. Yes it is slightly annoying and sometimes I just want to let him cry, but I still love every moment that I have with him.
My fiance also wasnt a kid person at ALL. I mean he hated kids. But now he's turned his opinions arouns and loves our son to death. (I think mainly cause he's a boy)
2007-12-04 10:48:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I never was a kid person either. I just had my first baby in September and I am CRAZY about her but I must say that I still am not much of a kid person. I don't think that the way you feel about other people's kids will affect the way you raise your own. I am sure you will do a great job and don't feel badly about not being crazy about kids. You will be crazy about your own.
2007-12-04 07:18:07 · answer #7 · answered by Maid of Constant Sorrow 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I always thought other peoples kids were obnoxious and annoying and i thought id wait till 30 to have one, but we got a beautiful surprise and were having one 10 years earlier then I thought lol. Im still pregnant so i cant say how I feel about raising them but im very excited about having her and ive found other peoples kids alot more adorable and less obnoxious since i became pregnant
2007-12-04 07:28:28 · answer #8 · answered by Ashleyakapasada 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wasn't much of a kid lady either. When all my friends wher :aay he's so cute: I mainted my distance, aagh they where so annoying. Now I have to admit my own kid makes me happy.
I like mine only...
during my pregnancy I wasn't all loveble with the unborn child either. The affection kinda grew. (Plus Ihad post partum depression, i wanted everything to end) Now much better!
I love my son, we go everywhere togeter.
Raising him has been a bit hard for sometimes I am allone
2007-12-04 07:24:27 · answer #9 · answered by yolie857 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i know exactly what you mean, i didn't really like children until i had my own. my daughter is absolutely hilarious and adorable. If you get bashed, ignore it. :) i was terrified throughout pregnancy that i would be a horrible mother. Once I got her home I was terrified I'd do something or hate my daughter during those really late night exhausting nights. but once you see those beautiful eyes looking up at you and than she starts to smile and than laugh, coos. its so priceless. there is absolutely nothing to compare it too. as to changing your view of other people's children.. their screams don't bother me quite as much (just like my daughter screams when i know she's fed and changed and just doesn't want to go to sleep don't bother me) but i don't love children universally haha, just my little angel, though i appreciate others. you're doing fine. good luck!
2007-12-04 07:42:24 · answer #10 · answered by jenisilly80 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋