I'm shy...?

Question

It sucks. I close myself up because I don't want to be hurt. It's often mistaken for arrogance, which it totally isn't! But, believe it or not, I want to be an actress...totally contradicting, I know. But, I used to be an actress when I was younger, a good actress. If I kept going with it I could have been very popular today. But, with age came shyness. I want to get out of this rut. I've decided that what I want to do is challenge myself. I want to create a list for myself like:

1. Talk to one new person each week.
2. Say hello to a random person on the street.

Stuff like that you know? If anyone has any good websites on shyness, or any suggestions on what I could do for my list then post em! Also, if you yourself, or someone you know has gotten over shyness tell me about it! How'd they do it? Did it take long?

Answer 1

I'm sorry you have been feeling that way. Shyness as you describe it is known as social anxiety and if you do a web search you will find several support groups.

You may also wish to try short term therapy call Cognitive Therapy. It is meant for problems that are not deep psychological disorders and has been shown to be quite effective.

Sorry I didn't see you were in high school, two other ideas are to join some clubs at your high school, I found that was a good place to make friends. If you feel the drama club is too much for you now there are other clubs.

Also the above person is right, it's normal for teens to be a bit shy, you'll probably grow out of it. But since you are in high school you have a way of meeting people in your school and becoming part of a group by joining a club.

You could also talk to your schools drama club teacher and tell him or her that you don't feel confident enough for a large part but you'd like to join the club and take part in the practices and maybe even start out with a small part in your schools next play.

Also look in your city's directory. Most city's and towns have special activities for teens at their various community centers. You'll probably find something that will interest you. The activities for teens offered at community centers can range from being in the towns teen sports teams to various arts activities, learning different languages, etc. But take a look at your city's URL and look under "Community Centers" or "Community Activities".

Answer 2

First, being shy and wanting to be an actress are not conflicting things. A lot of Actress/actors are shy. It lets them act out their feelings without having to really show them, and then they cannot be hurt. Your number 2. Say hello to a random person on the street. Be careful, some people will take advantage of a shy person.

A better number 2. Pick a subject each week, study it, then go over it with someone.

Take Yoga, or go to a gym where there are other people, and slowly get to know more of them. Yes, it takes time, but it is worth changing.

Answer 3

A lot of people suffer from being shy at a young age, but usually people manage to at least grow out of it gradually before they reach adulthood. That doesn't mean there won't be times when you feel shy, but you can control it and overcome your shyness. I know it sounds hard but try to talk to people that you don't know so well and get to know them. Set yourselves targets like you mentioned above, just one a week at first if you want. If you want to be an actress, go for it, and maybe you'll lose the shyness on the way? Start at a drama group if that's what you want to do. You can overcome this, i know exactly how you feel. good luck. xx

Answer 4

I like your plan. If you keep up with it, you'll eventually have a better handle on your shyness. I've found that since I've gotten older, my tendency is to close in, so I actively seek to fight that tendency, although I fail at times. If you want to have a large group of friends and to make a positive impact on other's lives, you have to get out there. One thing my wife and I do is invite families to our home for dinner almost every week. We don't invite the same families, nor do we invite our best friends only, we always try to invite someone we're not too familiar with so we get to know another family better. I can't say it's always been a great time, but it's definitely been MUCH more positive than eating alone.
Another way to get out of your shell is to volunteer regularly. Something like Big Brother/Sister or a food pantry or something along that line would be a great way to get to know others(those volunteering or being served) AND to get out there and impact others.
Also, get to know your neighbors, invite them over for dinner, help them with chores if they're older or unable to do for themselves.
The more you give of yourself to others, the less impact your shyness will have.
Good luck and God bless.

Answer 5

Believe it or not, Raina, lots of famous performers are shy people. In fact, for his first performance, Rod Stewart wouldn't come on the stage: Someone had to bring the mike back to him.

Check out Assertiveness Training and public speaking classes. And practice a lot! You do have a couple of very good ideas there.

I know you might not believe this- but I'm actually a painfully shy person too. But once I feel comfortable, I can be quite a chatterbox.

Answer 6

1Step OneDetermine why you're shy in the first place. For example, are you scared of what someone might say about your physical appearance? Remember, there's an underlying reason for how you react in situations.
2Step TwoAct as if you're not shy. In private, behave as if you're oozing confidence. Hold your chin up, stick your chest out, add a swagger to your walk and speak firmly. It may seem ridiculous, but you will see results when you're out in public.
3Step ThreePractice making eye contact and smiling in your interactions with others. Strike up casual conversations with strangers about weather or current events.
4Step FourLook your best. One way to improve self-consciousness is to always look good and limit ways you can be self-critical.
5Step FiveLower your fear of rejection by imagining the worst possible outcome. If you approach someone, they may say "no" or they may just walk away. Absolutely everybody has been rejected at some point, but no one has to dwell on it.
6Step SixLook and learn. Watching friends or even strangers who aren't shy is a good way to learn some tips first-hand.
7Step SevenFeel positive about yourself, don't get frustrated and have fun. Remember, the real goal is to find someone who will like you for who you are.

Answer 7

you'll grow out of it after you get out of high school.. most shy ppl do...