For the past 2 years, we have give my father in law and my brother in law something they already had. Now, obviously, we didn't know either of them had said gift or else we wouldn't have wasted the time/money.
Both of them (on seperate occasions since we trade gifts at different times) have informed us that they already had what we gave them and they left the gift with us. Yes, that's right. Neither of them took their gift home.
Now, I was raised that when someone gives you a gift, you thank them, graciously take the gift and either dispose of it, give it to someone who might like it, or return it to the store for something else. I wouldn't dream of being so rude as to not accept a gift because I already had it.
How do you react? (And no, we do not go out any buy them something else. I refuse to reward rudeness.) The 2 t imes with my father in law and the one time with my brother in law, I just sat there, dumfounded, as my husband APOLOGIZED PROFUSELY to them for the mistake.
2007-12-04 06:38:08 · 10 answers · asked by JMDP 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Sorry, Kel. Going out of my way to reward rudeness ain't gonna happen.
2007-12-04 06:57:42 · update #1
Being family, they took the liberty to informed you that they already had the said gift! They obviously presumed you would exchange it or give them something else. That was the reason they did not take it! Sweetie! A gift is something one should not dispose of or give to someone else, how can they return it at the store for something else when they are not the one who purchased it? They were not being rude and my advice is to exchange the gifts for something else...the best is usually a gift card!!!
2007-12-04 08:00:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 3⤋
First of all, your father in law and brother in law are rude jerks! Your husband needs to stop apologizing to them, because how can you possibly know that someone has something already? My recommendation is to either stop giving them anything or start giving them gift cards. People say gift cards are impersonal, but if you've had this problem 2 years in a row and they're that rude and obnoxious about it, that may be the only way to go that will allow you to keep your sanity and not bite your tongue clean off trying not to go off on them (good job on that by the way!). You were raised the same way I was raised, because I always just say thank you and figure out what to do later, these guys were raised by wolves or something. Hope this year goes better!
2007-12-04 06:46:20 · answer #2 · answered by bainaashanti 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I do the same thing that I do when I get a gift I don't care for.
Say thank you then try to re-gift it to someone that the original gift giver doesn't know. If it's someone I'm 100% positive won't be hurt, I'll ask for the gift reciept...and that's usually only if their's something else that I REALLY want.
I also wouldn't have a problem not getting them a gift this year and if anyone says anything, explain why.
After all Christmas is about family and friendship (and for some, God). Not who gets or already has something....
Shame on them!
2007-12-04 06:46:34 · answer #3 · answered by Find a cure for autism 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Don't apologize, they're the ones being rude. And your husband shouldn't apologize either. Next time, get them a gift card and let them pick their own gift. Also, I would go with a Visa or Discover gift card or something like that, just in case they say they don't like the store you picked.
2007-12-04 06:58:49 · answer #4 · answered by txgirl 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you. Whenever I have received a gift that I already had, I graciously accept the gift and either pass it along to someone else, or if possible return it for another gift.
The last thing I want to do is offend someone that is nice enough to give me a gift.
2007-12-04 06:47:25 · answer #5 · answered by Vera C 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
An easy way to handle this is to be proactive about it. When you buy the gift, get a gift receipt so if the recipient already has it, they can return it for something else. It's the thought that counts.
2007-12-04 06:58:17 · answer #6 · answered by Erin 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I would apologize and leave it at that. It's not the gift but the actual thought that counts. If the person can't accept that you tried, then maybe they were undeserving of a gift in the first place.
2007-12-04 06:49:47 · answer #7 · answered by ~Cremy~ 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Well I would not respond at all to the rude response from your in-laws. I am sorry your husband apparently does not have a spine when it comes to his family! How strange! I think if I were you, I would simply say, "Oh, well I guess I will just donate it to the: homeless shelter, veteren's home, etc.".
Wow, I am sorry!
2007-12-04 06:43:00 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs. Mad Maddy 4 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Offer to exchange it for something they want but don't have! and give them gift cards from now on!
2007-12-04 06:59:58 · answer #9 · answered by femina_lala 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Apologize and offer to get them something else...but make you sure you do keep what they don't want so you can exchange it. (Better yet - just get them gift cards next year!)
Nah - don't stoop to their level.....show them what it's SUPPOSED to be!
2007-12-04 06:45:23 · answer #10 · answered by Blue Oyster Kel 7 · 1⤊ 4⤋