What happened was is that my aunt (not my real aunt but mom's friend) is a bit of a control freak. My mother has been busy taking care of her family, work-life, school with my younger siblings, and my aunt is wondering why she hardly has enough time for her. Out of the blue she e-mails my mother and asks "when are we going out for coffee? is our friendship on the rocks?"
My mother was pretty upset by it and both of my parents got into an argument when my dad asked her why she even bothers with this woman? I too was hurt by it, btw i'm 17, so I sent her an e-mail saying that we have a life, my mother is busy taking care of us and works very hard, and since you don't have children you don't know what is involved with raising a family. So i'm sorry my mother isn't free for coffee chit-chat with you.
After this she calls our house SCREAMING at my mother for what i sent her and now my mom is mad at me for saying it. Did I really do anything in the wrong here?
Also, my dad is glad.
2007-12-04 06:21:30 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Don`t feel sorry you are done this for your mom slowly slowly she
will also understand this.
I appreciate this work Well Done.
2007-12-04 06:29:17 · answer #1 · answered by MY LORD 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You acted on impulse when you were upset, which is understandable, but you shouldn't have sent the email. Your dad is wrong for being glad that you did it. He should understand that it is only your mother's place to handle this. Hopefully you can all come to an acceptable compromise. Honestly, is 1 hour out of her day for a cup of coffee such a big deal? If your mom hasn't taken the time to meet her for a cup of coffee, she probably has realized ON HER OWN that this isn't a friendship worth maintaining. Now, since you've gotten confrontational about it, she has to pacify her friend and possibly go have coffee or more just to make her happy again. Whereas before, she might have just slowly been backing away.
2007-12-04 14:35:11 · answer #2 · answered by Katie G 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, what you said was out of line. And how everyone else handled this was not the greatest, but it happened. Apologize and go forward from there.
But your aunt made a point...every mother needs time for one-on-one w/a friend. Is she getting help from your dad and apparently you, as you are old enough as well to help out w/the younger ones. So the question should be, what are you guys doing for your mom? Her life shouldn't always be about doing for you. Everyone needs a break from time to time. Don't forget that.
2007-12-04 14:34:05 · answer #3 · answered by alliecat138 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you were correct in that something should have been said to this woman. She sounds very needy and very demanding of your mothers time. Could you perhaps have put it in milder terms to get your point across. Emails can sometimes be misinterpreted the wrong way. I understand what you were doing. You were trying to defend your mother against this selfish woman. Sounds like her feelings may have been hurt by your email. You might want to send an apology regarding your previous email and just apologize for the tone. Explain to her that you were defending your mother because her email upset your mother. She needs to take ownership for her behavior and how it made your mom feel. If she can't understand that, then your mom needs to dump her.
2007-12-04 15:31:55 · answer #4 · answered by femmenoire@sbcglobal.net 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I probably would have done the same thing in your shoes but maybe your mom is upset because she dosen't want her battles to be fought for her. At this point, I might send another e-mail saying something like this...
Look, I know I was harsh in the last e-mail but you just kind of got us upset. I sent the e-mail and you shouldn't be mad at my mom for it. My mom really is a busy person and feels bad that she dosen't have more time to spend with you...
Anyway, you know how your mom is feeling. Your Mom will understand why you did what you did. Let her be upset for a while.
2007-12-04 14:31:14 · answer #5 · answered by Kerri S 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can understand your reasoning for sending that e-mail, however you should have spoken to your mother about it first. It probably would have been better if you had called your "aunt" and said it rather than through an e-mail. You also should have explained to your aunt that you were hurt by her comments. Try to explain to your mother how you were hurt by her friends attitude and that you were simply sticking up for her. Eventually your mother will get over it.
2007-12-04 14:41:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have let your mom handle it. How would you feel if your mom butted into one of your friendships like that? I mean, what you said was true, but you shouldn't have gotten into it. Now, the friend had no business calling your mom and screaming at her about it. The friend sounds like a pretty dense person.
2007-12-04 14:27:09 · answer #7 · answered by CNJRTOM 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It wasn't really your place to send your mom's friend an email. If you were my daughter, I'd be annoyed with you for doing that. If they are having problems, then they need to work it out themselves and you and your dad need to butt out. You don't say why this woman doesn't have children, but your comment about her not having children may have been very hurtful for her.
2007-12-04 14:27:37 · answer #8 · answered by kat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Notice how its both females who are emotional and upset, and its the males who think this was the step to take. Thats because guys get things done. Good for you. If she calls back, tell her that she needs to get a grip, and hang up on her again. If she comes to the house, chase her down the street with a stick. If your mom cant keep her friends in line, then its up to YOU to do it.
2007-12-04 14:33:03 · answer #9 · answered by Andrew 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you shouldn't have got involved - this was between your mum and her friend and your mum probably wanted to handle it her way. it's hard to see your mother hurt by something someone has said, but she's an adult and can deal with things herself. your mum will calm down as she'll know that you did it with her best interests at heart, and will be able to smooth it over with her friend as you're only young. but future advice, keep out of other people's arguments - it usually does more harm than good.
2007-12-04 14:29:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the woman is going to yell at your mom for you making a point then she's not worth the drama. Your mom has priorities and she needs to realize that. And you did it because you love your mom. I would have done the same.
2007-12-04 14:51:30 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋