2007-12-04 05:47:47 · 34 answers · asked by FV 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
3 cheers for all of you that pointed out that it is not just MEN who need to be watched. And no one assumed the person answering was the boyfriend or step-father, maybe it is the man and wants to know why people are already viewing him suspiciously. These answers give a good idea why. But then we are barraged with stereotypes of men, even natural fathers, being idiots or fools, as well as abusive, but there's no organization for men's rights as powerful as those for rights of women and children. think of televison commercials, how many make the dad or husband the brunt of a joke? T-mobile, Home Depot, all sorts of advertisements where it is ok for men to be portrayed as ineffective and easily played. Home Depot has the mom paying her daughther to get the dad suggest to her dad (in most disrepectful tones) the kitchen need redone. Watch for the idiot male stereotype. Men need to be as careful as the children and the mothers. False accusations are rampant, particularly when we stand by and allow false stereotypes to pervade media. I think there's some very good answers about bring ANY NEW PERSON to a family unit or any one exposed to the child. Teachers OF BOTH SEXES make the news recently and regularly, clergy, employers of part-time jobs and others charged with trust of our children. If only it were so simple to eye one gender, in one role (boyfriend or step-father), a parent's job would be so much more simple
2007-12-04 06:40:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you're talking about. The answer initially is NO. Never until you know them so well - or after you're walking down the aisle. It only takes one, devastating time - one fondling, one rape, one bang up against the wall, one kidnapping - just once. I let my boyfriend take my daughter on a mass transit train to a mall to toy shop 5 or 6 years ago. The minute they left, I had this sinking horrible feeling. I was lucky. Six years later I'm still with this man. Nothing happened. But my gut called me out and said, "what in the hell are you doing!!!" I guess we all need to use some common sense. Today, if I had to start over with a new BF, he wouldn't get to meet or know my daughter until I knew he was the one. Our children are just too precious. Or, maybe I should just stop watching the news...
Oh, and btw, when I was a teen, my drunken step father came into the bathroom when I was brushing my hair. I thought he was going to hug me (which I didn't want) but he came up behind me and grabbed my boobs. WTF?! I didn't even see that one coming. You just never know. Women need to be a bit more serious about the character of men we put around our children, esp if they're not the bio father.
2007-12-04 06:05:41 · answer #2 · answered by LOVEISTHEANSWER 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes. I had a great step father growing up. This question would be like saying "are fathers ever safe around their daughters" because biological fathers are just as guilty as any other person, no matter what their gender, could be. Just get to know the people you let your daughter around. If your gut tells you something isn't right, then trust your instinct and don't ever leave them alone, and talk to your daughter about things that are and aren't appropriate, and let her know to tell you if something does happen.
2007-12-04 05:52:24 · answer #3 · answered by ALFimzadi 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
That's a strange generalization. Men are people. Not all are interested in being pedophiles. If a man is a good person, he should be able to not see a step-daughter as anything more than a step-daughter.
Are girlfriends or step-mothers ever safe around step-sons?
2007-12-04 06:17:06 · answer #4 · answered by vtothef 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There are some very wonderful stepparents out there. My parents divorced when I was an infant and I was adopted by my stepfather. He was the best daddy I could have ever wished for.
My mother divorced him when I was 11 and he was still there for me until he passed away, just as if I had always been his natural child.
Now, the stream of boyfriends that my mother had afterwards.. they were all creeps.
I think that a lot of the issues result from mothers bringing strange men into the home too soon, and putting their new relationship before the welfare of their child.
2007-12-04 05:52:20 · answer #5 · answered by sahel578 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
What about grandfathers, uncles, school teachers, and cartoon characters?
Their are a few monsters out there that prey on children, mostly but not always men.
People need to use their judgment before bringing a new person into the family unit. The children comes first prior to a persons own social needs.
BUT YES, with the right person it would be safe to have them around children.
2007-12-04 05:56:27 · answer #6 · answered by caffine jag 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I especially a lot HATE even as step moms take this approach. Divorce and remarry? New little ones? C'mon, why would not she be rebellious? especially at this age... She needs better than a counselor, your entire relations does becuase this stuff all paintings at the same time. the priority is, is this is not any longer HER, and that is what makes it so frustrating for households to work out. Her coping is a reaction to many stuff and this is a collection pastime, no longer a job to deliver her off to a counselor. She probable feels bitter enought that you would possibly want to even shluff her off on one making her experience like she is inaccurate and instill better self worthlessness and anger. The Dad has to paintings alongside to boot and the actual undeniable actuality that he would not do some thing about it throws her deeper into her behavioral kinds of being undesirable somewhat nicely to save the interest on her becuase she feels she would not get a similar high quality anymore. She receives indignant becuase of this and quicker or later has concept there to be a flaw in herself becuase of this, yet she's nonetheless youthful and lower than the care of oldsters, making her unable to guard herself from the day she change into born making it the moms and dads pastime to finish that once which educate her a similar skills of self care and appreciation. She has organic obstacles now that isn't be healthful. Too a lot of human beings pinpoint the youngster and say "restore it" and honestly there are quite some issues in the course of the relations that want to be "fixed"... and some listen or examine some thing like this and say "oh no, no longer my relations, we are positive"... clue is: you're youngster's no longer so neither are you. team attempt, means to hearken to, intimate sharing (being waiting to experience probability-free even as sharing all thoughts and characteristic them respected) and recognizing flaws on EVERYONES area.
2016-10-25 10:50:21 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be just as careful with your son as with your daughter. grown men will abuse little boys too. very sad.
also men will hide physical abuse from the woman. I know someone who has a dad that was (nNOT sexualy) physicaly abusive,and very verbaly abusive . This friend grew up,and the parents divorced. the dad remarried and his stepchild is little (not grown like his own kids),wel when she is not around he is very verbal abusive,and I don't doubt he is physicaly abusive as well,but there has been no reports of that yet. He told his mom,thats how the friend(grown daughter) knew. also this friend never even thought to tell anyone that the dad was physicaly abusive when her mom was away.
You canactualy find out who is most likey fits in that category statisticly by dongi goole searches. I do know that alcoholics,or peopel who drink too much, are the highest statisticly to abuse kids,because their gaurd is let down,and end up doing things they would normaly not do,when sober, like abusing kids. This friend of mines dad who was physicaly abusive,didn't drink,but he was addicted to something as simple as tabacco,the mom would throw it away,and he would get withdrawn from it,and lose his temper,because his body craved it,so he hit the kids when he got mad,but when he was on his tobacco,he was fine. Anybody with ANY dependency issues, (especialy alcohol and drugs) I would never leave alone with kids,no matter what. If you have any doubts, at all,even if you end up being wrong... dont stay with this person. your kids are more important,no matter how nice the guy is.
2007-12-04 06:13:57 · answer #8 · answered by Christine s 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i have a story about that..
a friend of my cousin that lives just outside of conway SC.. mother had just met a new bf at a bar or somethin and thought this guy was very special and just a wonderful man.. She introduced him to her and her sister and came off very respectful at first. about 6 months down the road the mother had to leave state for a weekend asked him to watch the 2 girls. when she came back her and her sister were acting very strange. They told their mother that nothing happened but they seemed very upset. Turns out he was physical with them and had an anger problem. She immediately dumped him and thats been it since.
so if you want my advice, choose wisely. if he seems like a good person still keep a watchful eye. besides that he should be fine around a step-daughter
2007-12-04 05:55:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, if the guy is not an idiot or a pedophile. But a lot of times the types are hard to distinguish. Just tell the daughter to let you know in private if she feels weird around the man.
2007-12-04 05:51:01 · answer #10 · answered by Lolliebums 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋